TITLE: "I want it all" AUTHOR: Kirsten Kerkhof * CLASSIFICATION: MSR KEYWORDS: S R RATING: NC-17 SPOILERS: None SUMMARY: Scully wants it all. DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Why would I be the lucky one, huh? They belong to CC, DD, GA, 1013 and Fox and no infringement is intended. ARCHIVING: Sure. I'll do Gossamer myself, all others: you're welcome when you tell me where it's going, 'kay? FEEDBACK: Cherished and worshipped at . Mulders on offer for those who write! NOTE: Story continues where the last part of "A Quartet of Kisses" ended. You don't need to have read that story, but it will help when you have. XxXxX I'm lying on my back, my head on Mulder's chest, staring at the ceiling. I think they had a leak sometime ago, but it's not a recent stain as far as I can tell. It's a bit of a pity, to see that stain there, it makes the whole room look shabby. And it is such a nice room really. Nice bed, too. "What are you thinking?" he asks. I can feel the vibrations of his voice rumbling in his chest. I point my finger at the stain. "You should get that fixed if you want to sell the house. People will be put off when they see it, I'm sure of that." I can't see his face from the position I'm in, but I'm sure he's following my finger. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. I never noticed that stain before." I smile. "Well, we haven't exactly been paying attention to the ceiling the last few hours, have we?" He chuckles. "Not quite, no." Smiling, I relax further in his embrace. Aahh, this is really nice. Why haven't we done this earlier? He's such a fantastic lover – and the scary part is that I knew that a long time ago. I knew it just by looking at him in his daily routines, the passion and the power with which he threw himself into his work ... I would imagine what it would be like to have that passion directed entirely on me, and it would get me aroused in no time. God knows I've brought myself off more times than I can imagine, thinking of him as I teased myself, the object of my desire often not more than a thin motel wall away from me, blissfully unaware of my aching want for him. Thank God we've passed that point and I no longer have to rely on my imagination to reach fulfilment. "Mulder." "Yeah?" I turn over so I can look at him. "What do we do now?" "What do you mean?" I think for a moment about how I should put this. "How do we go on from this? I can't go back to being just friends, just partners anymore." He shakes his head. "No, neither can I. But as far as I can tell, we went beyond the point of just friends a long time ago, didn't we?" "I guess so," I reply softly. He's right, he became much more than just a friend, just my partner during the first year of our working relationship, and I know he felt just the same about me. We just chose not to do anything about it. What fools we've been. "What do you want, Scully?" I look at him. I doubt whether I've ever seen him this tranquil. He looks perfectly at ease here, perfectly relaxed. "I want it all," I answer quite bluntly. "All?" "I want all of you," I go on, "all of your love, all of your dedication, all of your trust. I want it all." "You have it all, I'm yours." He smiles, not the least taken aback by my bold claim of him. "Name it and you can have it." I lie my head back down on his chest, turning my face so my left cheek is on his chest and I can look at his face. "I want your trust. Implicitly. No running off without me, no ditching, no doubting of my qualities or loyalty. It's degrading and I hate it. You need to trust me, I need to know with dead certainty that you trust me. With everything." He's silent for a little bit. "I have never trusted anyone the way I trust you. As for ditching you and leaving you behind, I just wanted to protect you ..." "It hurts me," I say softly and sigh, "don't do it. Please." "You're the first woman I trust entirely, Scully, you're the first person I trust with all I have and all I am. Guess I just needed a few lessons to learn before I understood what it meant and felt like to trust and be trusted so completely." "Yeah ..." I think for a moment. "I want your heart. You told me you trust me with your life – I need your heart as well. I can't do this if your heart is not in it." He extends his arms, opening his hands as if he hands me something on a platter. "My heart is yours," he just says. Then his hands flop back down and he chuckles once or twice. "God, it has been yours for years and you've broken it more times than you realise, but then again you couldn't really help that, I guess." I frown. "What do you mean? I don't want to hurt you, I never did." His hands rests on my head, his thumb softly stroking my ear and the skin just around it. "I gave you my heart the moment I met you, but you didn't know that. I mean, how could you have known, right? You had a boyfriend, and moreover you were sent to spy on me, so the last thing I could afford to show was the amount of power you had over me. To show you that you could have made me give up the X-Files without so much as blinking an eye. So I kept quiet and ... suffered in silence, so to speak." He chuckles again. "So, yeah, you hurt me, but I don't blame you." I move up his body until our faces are level. He turns his face to look at me and he smiles, something I can't help but answer. He's still lying on his back, while I'm on my side, moulding myself to him. "What else do you want?" he asks. "I want your body." He grins. "My body is entirely at your disposal," he says, turning onto his side as well. "Whenever you want me, wherever you want me. Just let me know and you can have me." I arch an eyebrow, but can't stifle a smile. "Really?" He laughs softly now. "Scully, you could have had me ages ago. God knows I wanted you, but I needed to know it was consential. And you didn't exactly give me many clues." I feel a blush appearing on my face. "You're the first man who let me love you intellectually before it turned physical. No one has ever given me that time ..." "That's because no one has ever loved you properly. If they had, they would have given you that time." "Not many men know women sometimes need that time," I say softly, feeling my heart surge with affection and admiration for him. "No, I guess not. But I didn't know that either and I still did it. What does that tell you about me, right?" I press a soft kiss on his collar bone. "I wanted you long before we came together, though. I've wanted you for years, I just didn't know if you wanted me, too." He laughs again. "Not want you? How on Earth could a man not want you? I'm sorry, Scully, if I sound just a tiny bit incredulous, but that is nonsense. You're absolutely gorgeous, you can have any man you want. I mean, just look at the guys at the Bureau. I'm not making this up, Dana, I've seen it happen with my own eyes: one smile from you, and half of them are melting like chocolate in the sun, while the others are doing a striking resemblance of that Tex Avery Wolf, howling and whistling at you and nearly tearing the clothes off you." God, he's definitely good for my ego. "Really?" "Oh yeah ..." His eyes darken for a moment, taking on that smouldering come-hither look I can't resist. "I know it first-hand: I was one of them ..." So I don't resist, because I don't have to. "You know, I sometimes wondered about the wisdom of getting you as a partner," I say in a low voice. It took just one look and a few words from him to get me completely turned on and I'm determined to continue this. "What do you mean?" "When I was sitting in our office with you," I begin, raising myself up so I can lie on top of him. I begin kissing every little spot I can find, savouring the taste and texture of his skin on my lips. "I would look at you [kiss] and wonder desperately [kiss] why I hadn't been teamed up [kiss] with some old agent [kiss], grey-haired [kiss], beer gut [kiss], married [kiss], just doing time till his retirement [kiss]." I'm gradually inching south and I feel how his breathing has increased nicely and his eyes have slipped shut. I skim my nails over his flanks and he lets out a delicious little moan. I go on. "It just wasn't fair." I make haste now as I feel how the wetness between my legs grows rapidly. "Instead of all that they gave me a gorgeous partner [kiss kiss], tall, dark-haired [kiss], incredible green eyes [kiss], and they want me to resist him [kiss]." I've reached his groin and I smile as his cock taps insistently against my face, demanding a share in the attention. It's amazing just how quickly I can turn him on, and how easily. It really takes no time at all. "I couldn't." "You could have had me any time," he groans, just before he catches his bottom lip between his teeth and stifles a hiss I hear anyway. "God, Scully, please ..." I rain soft kisses on his hipbones and the insides of his thighs, avoiding what he wants so much. "Thank God," I say in a low voice, "that we came to our senses before it was too late." And with that I take him into my mouth. He lets out a strangled cry and one hand lands on my head to show me how fast, how hard. We haven't been together often and we have so much still to learn about each other, but we're avid students and I want to know everything when it comes to giving this man pleasure. I close my hand around the base of his shaft and slowly raise my head up, before taking him in again, sucking just the slightest bit. I feel him grow even harder and bigger in my mouth and a fresh gush of wetness escapes me, running slowly down the inside of my thigh. God, I'm so ready for him, but I can wait. I'll have to, it's not my turn yet. A few drops of pre-cum fall on my tongue and I smile. I can't say I particularly like the taste of semen, but it's a small price to pay compared to what heights of pleasure I can bring him. And I just love going down on him, as long as I stop before he comes in my mouth. His voice is like music, a continuous string of moans, pleas and sweetness that mingles with the roaring of the blood in my ears. "Oooo . ... Oh, God, yeah ... yeaaahh ... Scul—ly ... oh God, you're good ... don't ... aaaahhh ... don't stop ... oh man ..." He hisses sharply and I feel his balls tense in my hand, coiling and tensing, preparing for release. God, he's so close, can I let him come now? "Scully, stop! Aaahhh, God ... please stop, Dana ..." I slowly let him slip out of my mouth, keeping my hand on his cock, stroking ever so lightly, keeping him on the edge. Holy shit, he's gorgeous ... "Aaaahhhhh ..." he lets out, forcing his eyes open. "God, Scully ... you're way too good at this ..." His breath comes in hard little pants and it's not easy to make out his words. His body is covered with a light sheen of sweat and his hair is plastered to his forehead. He cups the back of my neck in his hand and draws me in. "There has *got* to be a way to thank you for this – I just don't know if I can do it ..." His grin is infectious. "But I'm definitely going to try! Lie down." I comply readily, unable to wipe the grin off my face. Oh God, the anticipation is killing me. "What do you want, Scully?" he asks, his voice rough. "I want you in me," I answer, feeling another wave of moisture run down my legs, just at the thought of having him inside me. "Oh God, Mulder, I need you so badly!" He smiles as he moves over me. I feel his cock strain against my opening, hot and hard as steel, and I moan. I raise my knees so he can get in deeper, and he slowly pushes inside, stretching me in ways that go beyond description. "Oh yeah ... Oh Mulder, you're so big, so hard ..." He looks ridiculously pleased with himself and I can't help grinning. Surely he can't be uncertain, can he? But then again, I guess that's a male thing. I just need to make sure I keep reassuring him he has absolutely nothing to worry about. Hell no. We sigh together when he's fully buried in me. "God, this feels good ..." he says raggedly. "So tight, so wet, so good ..." And he begins to pull out almost completely, before pushing back in. I raise my legs a bit further so he can get in even deeper and he groans when he feels it, mirroring my own sounds. From this point on we give up on all recognisable speech and just moan, groan, sigh and more. Oh man, the feelings he brings are just unbelievable. I feel how close he is to climaxing and I dig my nails in his butt, making him open his eyes. His pupils have dilated so much that hardly any of his irises are visible. He is panting hard and the muscles and tendons in his neck are tensed to resemble steel cables. I clench my internal muscles around him and he cries out. "I can feel that!" "Come for me," I pant, feeling my own orgasm building. But I want him to come first, I want to see him come, see him abandon all inhibitions and just throw himself into it. "Mulder, let go!" It must be magic, my words, for he picks up speed immediately, going from nought to sixty in no time at all. His thrusts are hard and insistent, ramming into me with enough force to throw me against the head board, but I don't feel it, I just feel his cock as it grows even bigger and harder inside me and then I see him explode right before my eyes as he lets out an animal howl and his seed races out of him in hard spurting jolts. I feel my womb contract as my own orgasm washes over me, the contractions of my internal muscles in perfect sync with his thrusts. We haven't been together a whole lot of times, but it appears we're as synchronised in this as we are in everything else we do. It's both wonderful and amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. He's collapsed on top of me and it takes a little while before he moves again, but I don't mind. I totally adore the feeling of his weight, his warmth covering me from top to bottom. I'm going to be one sore puppy, but I don't care. It's reassuring, calming, and I feel so loved. Even when he is a bit heavy for me. "Hey ..." he says softly, rolling off me completely. It makes me giggle. I tend to get a bit hyper after sex with him ... "Thanks," I reply, having nothing better to say to him for now. He smiles, starting to nibble and softly suck that little spot just under my ear. I'll have a hickey to end all hickeys, but it's a small price to pay for the delightful feelings it causes in me. And we're in the middle of nowhere anyway, so who'd mind, right? "Oh, you're welcome by all means, but you weren't half bad either, you know." I grin, turning towards him, pulling his head closer so I can kiss him. "I know ..." I whisper, suckling his lower lip softly before I kiss him fully, sending my tongue on a thorough investigation of his mouth. He moans into my mouth and I feel a shiver trip lightly down each and every vertebra of my spine. "You know, huh?" I nod, grinning. "Oh yeah ..." "It's nearly eleven," he murmurs, running his tongue along my lips, making it my turn to moan, just before I move in for another breath- taking kiss. I nod. "We should get up. Looks like it's going to be another gorgeous day." He smiles. "Yeah, you got any plans?" I draw him in closer, hooking my leg over his hips and pulling our groins tightly together. I feel him harden between us already. "Yeah, but none that involve a lot of outside activities." He grins, running his hands all over me, making me incredibly hot for him. "Maybe we should take our inside activities outside ..." "The tree?" I ask, arching an eyebrow. He nods, smiling widely. "Yeah, why not?" His eyes grow dark and smoky. "Come on, Scully, where's your sense of adventure?" I smile knowingly. "Are you trying to tell me I haven't been adventurous the past few hours?" He grins in reply. "I wouldn't dare say such a thing, baby, but how about it?" I make a show of sighing in mock-resignation. "Oh, all right then ..." Too bad he isn't buying it. He just keeps looking at me with that devilish smile on his face, telling me I'm in for a big surprise. Ooo, and I can't wait ... THE END Kirsten Kerkhof The Netherlands, 3 July 2003 (c) 1