TITLE: "The Minne Cycle - Part 1" AUTHOR: Kirsten Kerkhof CLASSIFICATION: MSR KEYWORDS: V R A RATING: PG SPOILERS: Patience SUMMARY: A letter of love and longing DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Why would I be the lucky one, huh? They belong to CC, DD, GA, 1013 and Fox and no infringement is intended. ARCHIVING: Sure. I'll do Gossamer myself, all others: you're welcome when you tell me where it's going, 'kay? FEEDBACK: Cherished and worshipped at NOTE: The idea for letters from Scully to Mulder started after 'Roadrunners' and it just sort of took off from there. 'Minne' is an old Dutch word for love, courtly love that is. And I loved the tender sound of it ... XxXxX Thursday, basement office Hello sweetheart, I doubt whether you expected a letter from me, I never expected I'd write these letters to you. But, circumstances being what they are, I can't vouch for any of my actions right now, so what the heck, right? Today we returned from our first real case after the official search mission for you was called off. "We" being in this case Agent Doggett and myself. I've been assigned a new partner in your place. Can't stand him, he's so sceptical, he royally pisses me off. Did I piss you off when we first started working together? I probably did. Sorry. But I hope he'll turn out all right in the end, he has potential. Well, introductions being over, we can start talking about what really matters. Doggett isn't here right now, I guess he's somewhere up there, kissing some asses and getting a reassignment into the bargain. Good riddance. Mulder, I have something to tell you, though I think you already know if you're as close as I feel you at night. It doesn't matter, I'm going to tell you anyway, if only because it's the most incredible news you ever heard: we're going to have a baby! Isn't it fantastic? But if only you were here with me. Oh Mulder, how am I going to do this without you? I need your strength, I'm so scared I'll fail. Skinner and Doggett have become horribly protective since they got word of my pregnancy. I don't care about Doggett too much, but Skinner is a nuisance. I hope he'll change back to his gruffy self soon or he'll find me screaming one day and finding out just how little protection this Agent really needs. I'm not fragile, I don't need some knight in shining armour to protect me, I just need to be able to do my job. That shouldn't be too hard, should it? The case we investigated was nice and old-fashioned. You'd have had a field day with it, it was right up your alley. If you'd like the case details, just nick the file, I'll cover for you. I don't know what's gotten into me ... I want to try and keep you updated on what I'm up to using letters like these. I'll put them under our bench by the Potomac, okay? If anywhere you should be able to find them there. Mulder, I know I've never said this to you in person, but I admire you. You've only been missing for such a short period of time and it already feels like a life-time. And then I think back on the time I was missing, all those months ... And I realise we weren't nearly as close back then, but I don't think I'll have the strength to pick out a headstone, Mulder, I saw the coffin and it nearly stopped my heart. Why didn't you tell me you were so sick? But then again, why hadn't I noticed? I'm a doctor and I never even noticed you were dying. Have I ignored you that much? Mulder, are you all right? What are they doing to you? Oh, if only I could do something to help you, really help you, I mean. But all I can do is try to find you as quickly as possible. And that is something I will not abandon. I will track you down and I will bring you back to me. Just don't fall in love with any cute alien babes, okay? I don't think I could stand the disappointment. Besides, you wouldn't want to encounter 'jealous-Scully', believe me! I'm smiling now, but all I really feel is this terrible emptiness and sadness in me. I miss you horribly. I miss your voice and your presence, I miss the discussions and the off-colour jokes we crack. I miss the hand on the small of my back. I miss you. I just had a call from Skinner, he wants the preliminary report so we can brief him on what we found. He'll like it, the case was about some kind of man/vampire/bat who followed people around when they'd had contact with this one guy. Weird stuff. And like I said, right up your alley. Actually, Doggett saved me just in time, so I guess the thank-you was justified. I just hope he won't have to play my chivalrous rescuer too often, I might actually grow to like him then. Oh, he's not as bad as I depict him here, in fact he seems pretty good. But the comparison is just so devastating ... I'd better stop now so I can go and see Skinner about the report. I'll write when I can bear it. Goodbye, my love, be brave. I'll be strong for us, all three of us. Can you believe it, you're going to be a father. I only hope you'll get to see your child, you deserve it. I must go now. I hope we'll be together soon, but until then I can only kiss you in my dreams. It'll have to do. Goodbye, sweetheart. Forever yours, Scully XxXxX THE END Kirsten Kerkhof The Netherlands, 28 September 2001