TITLE: "The Minne Cycle - Part 6 - "Between cases" AUTHOR: Kirsten Kerkhof * CLASSIFICATION: MSR KEYWORDS: V R A RATING: PG SPOILERS: none SUMMARY: See part 1 DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Why would I be the lucky one, huh? They belong to CC, DD, GA, 1013 and Fox and no infringement is intended. ARCHIVING: Sure. I'll do Gossamer myself, all others: you're welcome when you tell me where it's going, 'kay? FEEDBACK: Cherished and worshipped at XxXxX Somewhere, sometime Hello Dana, I can hardly hold this pencil at this moment, but I refuse to let that stop me from writing this letter to you. Thank you so much for your letters. God, I need them so much, it's just about the only thing I've got to keep me from going insane with despair and pain. Or giving up for that matter. I can't believe you and I are going to have a baby! I thought the IVF didn't work, but then again there are other ways for a woman to get pregnant and we have certainly dedicated an embarrassingly large amount of company time to that, haven't we? I'm sure you are brilliant, if only I could be there with you. Scully, I can't see you, I can't be with you, but you are all I think of. I'm hurting all over, and I mean all over. The drills are terrible, but the hooks in my cheeks are the worst. I've screamed my voice into oblivion, I can't utter a single sound. Maybe they've removed my vocal cords, I can't tell, my throat hurts too much for such a thing to make a difference. There is so little reprieve from the torture and even when I do get a moment's rest I only sleep. God, what do they want from me? I don't think I'm the only one here, though I haven't seen anyone, not even Them. But I refuse to let Them beat me. They say that loneliness can drive a man insane, but I'm not lonely. Isn't that strange? I used to be so lonely when I was still back home in DC, surrounded by millions of people, and yet, now that I'm here, I'm alone, but not lonely. I can only explain it by feeling you close, keeping me company when I dream. You and your lethal eyebrows ... Sorry to keep rattling on about something I don't want you to worry about. I know you are worried about what They're doing to me, but you can't stop it and you need to take care of your own life, Scully, of your job and the baby. To answer one of your many questions: yes, I want this baby. More than anything. Well, that is not entirely true, the thing I want most of all right now is being let out of this hell-hole. Preferably alive, actually. But you and the baby are the immediate second, trust me. Just do me one favour, okay? Don't name the kid Fox. You don't know what you'd be doing to him ... Scully, I can hardly write anymore, everything hurts so very much. I'm glad to hear you managed to pull yourself together, I was a wreck for the entire three months when you were gone. I'm so proud of you. I think it's because you have something to live for, namely the baby. I had nothing when I'd lost you. Thank you very much for praying for me. Don't worry about my not holding with that, I appreciate anything and everything you do for me. And the thought of having someone looking out for me is more of a comfort than I ever envisioned. I doubt I'll be able to write anymore letters to you, I don't think this one will even reach you, but I just had to try. I suspect They spent the whole day wracking Their brains – if They even have any – how to get the smile off my face, but I was thinking of you. They don't know what love is, Scully, so we'll always beat Them at that. 'Cause I love you more than anything. Perhaps that's why They take us, to try and understand the mystery of how we love. Scully, please keep writing, it's all I have to keep me alive. In all honesty I don't know how your letters get to me, maybe I do have a friend in here, but all that matters is receiving your words of comfort. I'm so afraid I'll die in here, that They use me until They're finished with me and then dump my body somewhere in the desert for the scavengers to feast on. Please try to find me, okay? I don't know the why of it, but it comforts me, knowing I'll get a decent burial when this hilarious excuse for a life of mine is over. I'm sorry, Dana, I didn't mean to sound so bitter, I know you do all you can to save me. I'll be forever in your debt. God, I miss you. I can't tell you where I am because I don't know. For all I know I could be merely a block away from your place, or I could be in a totally different galaxy, I honestly don't have a clue about my whereabouts. Sweetheart, my pencil just dropped from my fingers for the ninth time, I'm losing the strength. I just hope you can read this letter. Please keep looking for me, I'll hang on to life for all I'm worth and God willing we'll be together soon. All my deepest love, Mulder XxXxX THE END Kirsten Kerkhof The Netherlands, 10 November 2001 ?