TITLE: "Love Knows No Bounds" AUTHOR: Debbie Cullen djc45@hotmail.com Kirsten Kerkhof kirsten_xf@yahoo.com RATING: PG-13 CLASSIFICATION: Mulder Scully Romance. D-uh ... KEYWORDS: S R A TIMELINE: Probably about Season 7. No John Doggett in sight yet. No nasty uncalled-for little green ("grey") men to spoil the romance either ... :-P SPOILERS: 'Cancer-arc' and Millennium SUMMARY: No matter what happens, no matter where he goes, Mulder always loves Scully. FEEDBACK: *gasp* We need ... *gasp* ... feedback ... *THUD* DISCLAIMER: Not ours. They belong to CC, 1013 and Fox and no infringement is intended. No money is being made either, which is probably the most regrettable part ... xxxxxxxxxx Scully was startled awake by the phone ringing. She sat up slowly, stretching her sore neck. She reached for the phone and gave her normal "Scully" greeting. "Agent Scully, are you okay?" "Yeah, I guess I fell asleep at my desk. What can I do for you sir?" "I called with good news. At least I hope it is...?" said her boss. She was suddenly wide-awake. "Did you find him?" she asked anxiously. "Um ... erm ... yeah, but ..." he replied. "Is he alive?" "Yeah, but barely." "Oh, thank God! I'm on my way!" She was about to hang up when she heard Skinner calling out to her. "Yes, sir?" she said as she put the phone back to her ear. "You might like to know where he is," he told her. "Yeah," she almost laughed. "It might be a good idea." "He's at DC Memorial!" Scully was on her feet. "I'm going over there right now." "Agent Scully, don't hope for too much. He might not make it," Skinner said, trying to prepare her. "I can't let myself believe that, sir! Why send him back to me only for him to die! No!" she said almost in tears. "I'm sorry. I just felt you needed to be prepared at least." "I know," she said quietly. "I'll meet you at the hospital, Agent Scully," Skinner told her. "See you there," Scully said and hung up. xxxxxxxxxx When Skinner arrived in the emergency room, the first thing he heard was a very angry Dana Scully. He went quickly to try and diffuse the situation if he could. As soon as she saw him, she turned to him and before he could even say a word, the tears started to pour down her face. He just reaches out and puts his arms around her and pulls her to his chest. "They won't let me see him! I need to see him! He needs me there! Why can't they understand?" she cried. He gently rubbed her back and tried to soothe and comfort her. "Just relax! I told them not to let anyone in. I thought I'd be here before you. Now just calm down, okay?" he said. He seated her in the waiting room and proceeded to the nurse's station. He told the nurse that he needed to speak to Dr. Albertson as soon as possible. He said they'd be in the waiting room. He went and sat back down beside Scully. She had finally stopped crying, but she was shaking from head to toe. He reached out and put his hand on her arm, but before he could say anything, Dr. Albertson walked into the room. Skinner rose and put his hand out to him, "Dr. Albertson?" "Yes," he said as he put out his hand and they shook. "I'm Walter Skinner, Agent Mulder's supervisor." Then he turned and put his hand on Scully's arm that stood anxiously beside him. "This is Agent Dana Scully, M.D. She is Agent Mulder's partner. She is to have free access to him at anytime. If anyone can give him the will to live, it's her." His hand was still on her arm and when he said that, he felt her relax. "Can I go and see him now?" she asked. "Agent Scully, I think you need to listen to what Dr. Albertson has to say ... then I promise, I'll take you to him myself," Skinner told her. "Okay," she said, not very happy with the decision, but wanting to get it over with so she could go to Mulder. "Why don't we sit down?" Dr. Albertson said, pointing to the seats just behind them. Skinner and Scully sat and Dr. Albertson pulled up a chair, so he was sitting facing them. "He's seriously injured. He has several broken ribs, one of which punctured his lung. We took him to surgery and repaired that. His left ankle is totally shattered. He has bruises, cuts and scraps all over his body. His skull is fractured as is his jaw. While in surgery, we wired his jaw as well. "We also found evidence of a variety of drugs in his system. Some of them we're still trying to identify. "We have put him into an induced coma. The general state of his body is so bad that we felt this was the best way for him to get the rest that his body so badly needs. "I wish I could tell you what had happened to him, but I can't." "Can I see him now, please!?" she begged. "Agent Scully," Dr. Albertson said, "I wouldn't get your hopes up. I don't really hold out much hope for him." "That's because you don't know him like I do! He WILL get better! I know he will!" she cried out and turned away. "Come on, Agent Scully," Skinners said as he got up. "I'll take you to see Mulder now." She got up quickly and was half way across the waiting room before Skinner had a chance to even move. "We'll talk again later. I don't think she's able to take this in right now. She needs to see him with her own eyes." "Okay," Dr. Albertson said. "If you need me for anything, just let the nurse know." "Thank you," Skinner said and turned and went toward Scully who was waiting anxiously in the doorway. When he got to her, he put his hand gently on her shoulder and headed towards Mulder's room. Before entering the room, Skinner stopped her. "Are you ready?" he asked. "As ready as I'll ever be," she replied. "He'll be better once he knows I'm there." "He's in a coma. He may not know," he told her. "He'll know!" she said trying to convince herself as much as anyone else. It was all she had to hold to now. She wouldn't give it up. She took a deep breath and released it as she stepped into his room. When she looked across the room at the bed -- and then at her partner - it took everything she had to suppress the scream that she felt building in her throat. His face was so badly bruised, swollen and cut that she could hardly recognize him. Obviously they had shaved his head and the hair was just starting to grow back. She slowly moved across the room until she was beside the bed. She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, but she didn't know where she could touch him that it wouldn't hurt. She gently caressed his forehead and leaned down and gently kissed him on the temple. She pulled a chair up beside the bed. She gently took his hand in hers and rubbed the back gently with her thumb. "I'm here Mulder. I don't know if you can hear me or not. Please come back to me! I need you!" she said with tears welling in her eyes. She put her head down beside his hand, but not letting go. Within a few minutes, she was asleep. xxxxxxxxxx (The next afternoon) Dr. Albertson, Scully and Skinner were gathered in Mulder's room. "I am going to discontinue the drugs that are keeping him in a coma," Dr. Albertson told them. "How long will it take for him to come out of it?" Skinner asked. "Several hours. There's no exact timetable," he replied. Scully didn't say a word. She just walked over by the bed and took his hand again. Dr. Albertson went over and adjusted his IV and then he left the room. Skinner went over and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and he said, "Let's go and get something to eat. The doctor said it would take a while." "Then I'll be sitting here for a while. I'm not leaving until he wakes up and maybe not even then. When he opens his eyes, I'm going to be the first person he sees," she replied. Skinner wanted to try and change her mind, but decided against it. Once she had her mind made up, there was NO changing it! "Okay," he said as he gently squeezed her shoulder. Then he turned and left. For the next few hours, she remained at his bedside, talking to him, begging him and pleading with him to come back to her. Approximately seven hours later, she had tried everything she could think of and still no response from him. She was anxious and frustrated. In desperation, she took his hand in hers and put it up to her face. Tears were rolling down her face. She finally closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears. She felt his fingers start to move, to brush away the tears. She stopped, almost afraid to move or open her eyes. If she opened her eyes, maybe it wouldn't be true. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes slowly. What she saw looking back at her was like a dream come true. His eyes were open and he was definitely trying to wipe her tears away. She had never felt such joy. She jumped up and threw her arms around him. "Thank God," she said. He looked at her strangely. "Mulder, what's wrong?" she asked. "Who are you?" he replied. xxxxxxxxxx For a long moment Scully couldn't move. "Wha-- what do you mean?" Mulder removed her arms from around him and she could literally see him back off, even when he wasn't exactly moving a great deal. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I don't know who you are. I must admit you look familiar to me though. Are you one of the nurses?" "Mulder, it's me, Scully! Don't you recognize me?" she said unbelieving and confused. The anger that began to shine from his eyes, however, only added to the confusion. "Scully's dead," he replied icily. She wasn't sure she heard him correctly. "What?" "My Scully died three and a half years ago and don't you dare play ignorant to that!" he answered, his voice trembling with grief and anger. "Mulder ... I don't understand ..." Scully stammered. "Ma'am, you don't need to understand," he replied coldly, "and if you could, please, leave this room and get a nurse to come here? I'm tired." And with that he turned away from her. Scully had never felt so close to tears, so lonely, as she looked at her partner who refused to acknowledge her. 'My God,' she thought, 'what have they done to him? What on earth has happened?' She reached out her hand to touch him, but halted before they touched, then pulled back. It wouldn't help. And with a sigh she got up and walked out of the room. She needed to find Dr. Albertson. xxxxxxxxxx Dr. Albertson was not alone when he arrived at Mulder's room: along came Scully and one very confused, very angry Assistant Director. Apparently he'd somehow gotten word about Mulder's refusal to accept Scully. "Agent Mulder," Skinner said gruffly and Mulder looked up. "Sir? What are you doing here?" "I presumed that, being your direct superior, I might have something to gain by checking on Agents under my command," he said formally. "Direct superior?" Somehow this confused him. "But you haven't been my superior since-- ... what about AD Kersch? Where is he? And Agent Pendrell and ..." He closed his eyes with a groan. "Can someone please tell me what is going on here?" "Actually, Agent Mulder, that is exactly what we'd like to hear from you. Not in the least are we expecting an explanation for your behavior towards Agent Scully," Skinner said sternly. "She's not who you think she is!" "Explain yourself, Agent Mulder!" "I don't know who she is, Sir, but she sure as hell isn't Dana Scully!" Scully, who was sitting in a chair by the window, watching the scene from a small distance, closed her eyes. His words felt like an almost physical blow to the gut, and she willed the pain to recede. She couldn't help a gasp though. Dr. Albertson insisted Mulder be left alone to rest so Skinner had to end the conversation, such as it were. "All right, Agent Mulder, just one last thing before we leave you. If she isn't Dana Scully, then who is she?" The look of utter disgust cast in her direction caught her totally by surprise and she was on her feet and on her way out of the room before anyone could stop her. She wasn't, however, quick enough to miss his last words, "I don't know who she is, Sir. She's an impostor of sorts, posing for the woman I loved and lost. And I hate her!" xxxxxxxxxx Skinner found Scully at the nurse's station, a cup of untouched tea in her hands. She looked up when she heard him approaching. "Agent Scully?" She didn't answer, instead let her eyes convey the sadness she felt. "I talked to Agent Mulder while you were away," Skinner continued. "This is all very confusing." "What is going on, Sir? What have they done to him that he doesn't even know me?" "It appears he is convinced you died three years ago of your cancer. And he can't accept you as he thinks you are a trickster, brought to him to open wounds that have never healed properly." Scully bit her lip. "I can't ... I can't let go, Sir, not like this ..." she said very softly. "You wouldn't help him if you did that, Scully," Skinner answered. "He needs you to help him come back. Do you believe this might be the result of some kind of drugs?" "Not if they used anything known to science. But God only knows what they used on him. Why?" "Because it seems as if he's lived in some sort of parallel universe and waking up from his coma dragged him into ours. Only, in this universe and contrary to what he believes, you are still alive. That is why he refuses to see you. We need to change that if we need you and him to be able to be together." Scully nodded. "It will not be easy bringing him back," he concluded. "He will come back," she responded with conviction. Then softer, "He has to. I can't live with someone he isn't. I need him too much ..." xxxxxxxxxx (The Next Day) After a million tears, Scully decided to do something about this situation. She knew Mulder better than anyone! If she wanted him back, she'd have to bring him back. She decided that the best place to start would be with the drugs that they'd found in Mulder's system. She went to Dr. Albertson and asked him for the toxicology report. She also told him that she needed the remaining portion of the blood sample. "We have done all the possible tests already, Miss Scully!" Dr. Albertson told her. "You admitted that there were some things present that you couldn't identify. Isn't that true?" "Yes, but how are you going to get any further information? Our lab has the most up-to-date technology." "Let's just say I have some friends who I think might be able to help me." He gave her the items she asked for, but really didn't understand what she hoped to accomplish. She was not really sure herself, but at least she felt like she was DOING something instead of sitting around feeling sorry for herself. When she left Dr. Albertson's office, she decided to drop by and see Mulder. He still seemed to be angry with her, but she kept hoping that one of these times, he'd recognize her and things could go back to normal. One way or the other, she wasn't going to give up until she had him back. When she arrived at his room, she quietly knocked on the door. It felt so odd to do that. She didn't usually have to observe such courtesies where Mulder was concerned. He replied quickly and told her to come in. "Hi," she said. "Hi," he said, almost disappointed. "I just came by to see how you were doing," she told him. "I'm okay. I might be released tomorrow." Scully's heart dropped with a thud. As long as he was here, she could at least SEE him every day. Once he left she had no idea when or IF she would ever see him. That thought just about killed her. "I'm glad you're doing so well," she said. Not knowing what else to say, but not wanting to leave, she just stood there looking at him in complete silence. After several minutes, he said, "I wanted to apologize to you!" "For what?" she asked. "For overreacting to you when I woke up. When I first opened my eyes, I almost believed you were my Scully! It scared me, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. It's not your fault. I just wanted you to know that." "Mulder, look at me. Really look at me. Isn't there anything familiar at all?" she said all but pleading. "That's just the problem. Inexplicably, I feel drawn to you. I don't know why. There is something that keeps drawing me to you," he said obviously distressed. "I know you have no reason to, but please trust me. We'll figure this out -- somehow." "I'm really not trying to hurt you," he said. "I know that. You would never hurt anyone intentionally." He looked up at her with a really strange expression on his face. It upset him that she seemed to know him so well and yet, somehow, it was comforting too. "I really have to get going, but I'll drop by again before you leave," she said. "Good," he said. "I'd like that!" It kind of just slipped out surprising himself as much as anything. Once she had left the room, he lay back down and tried to relax. He was so confused. This woman looked like Scully, but Scully was dead! Part of him wanted to be angry with her and tell her to go away and leave him alone. The other part, however, was comforted by her presence. She stirred feelings in him that he hadn't felt since ... since Scully died. What is going on? When she left Mulder's room, she headed to the Hoover Building to see Skinner. When she arrived, her boss was busy on the telephone. His secretary told her that he shouldn't be long if she'd like to wait. She took a seat. "I hear they found Agent Mulder?" Kim said. "How is he?" "I think he's going to be okay. It would seem that he's been through hell, luckily he doesn't remember any of it, but at least he's alive!" Scully told her. She just didn't have the wherefore all to tell her that he couldn't recognize her. That he thought she was dead. Of all the people in his life, why did she have to be the one who didn't exist for him anymore? As soon as Kim saw that Skinner was off the phone, she buzzed him and told him that Agent Scully was here to see him. He told her to send her in. Scully rose and went right in. She sat in the chair in front of his desk. "Are you okay, Agent Scully?" he asked, his voice tinged with concern. "About as okay as could be expected," she told him. "I know this is really hard on you Agent Scully. You two had such a special relationship!" he said. "You have no idea how hard it is to be forgotten by the one person that you'd hope would never be able to forget you." "He hasn't exactly forgotten you," he said trying to make her feel better. "No, he just thinks I'm dead! ... Big consolation!" she said with big tears in her eyes. "We'll figure it out Agent Scully. Somehow. He'll come back to you!" "That thought is the only thing that keeps me going right now. Crying about it isn't going to help. I need to do something! And I think I know where to start," she said. "Tell me," Skinner said. "I have the toxicology report on Mulder and I also have the rest of the original blood sample that was taken." "What are you going to do with them?" he asked. "I know you might not approve, but I really think it's the right thing to do. I'm going to take them to some friends of mine and Mulder's. They don't always operate in the most orthodox way, but I have a feeling that following proper channels isn't going to help us this time. Mulder trusts them and so do I." "Let me guess," he said with a smile on his face, "Langly, Byers and Frohike!" "You got it!" "I don't have as much confidence in them as you do, but I definitely agree that proper channels are not going to work!" "I'm going there right now," she said as she rose from the chair. "I just wanted to let you know what I was doing." "Please let me know if anything comes of it, okay?" "I definitely will, believe me," she said as she went to the door. "Don't give up Agent Scully." "I won't ... I can't. I have to figure this out and get him back." With that she left the office. Skinner sat behind his desk, shaking his head. He wasn't even sure there was a way to fix this. He did have to admit though, if anyone could find a way, it would probably be Scully. As she drove over to the Lone Gunmen's place, she tried not to think about Mulder, but it was impossible. He was on her mind constantly! When she arrived, she pulled a mirror from her purse and tried to make herself look at least reasonably alright. She had been crying again and she didn't want to scare the poor guys half to death. Doing the best job she could, she got out of the car, took the report and the blood sample, and headed to the door. She knocked sharply and Frohike answered quickly. She was barely in the room when Langly descended upon her. "Is it really true?" he asked. "Is what true?" "They found Mulder!" Just the mention of his name and she felt the tears well in her eyes once again. Frohike immediately rushed to her side and helped her over to the couch. Once she was seated, he asked, "Are you okay, my lady?" She shook her head up and down. "It's just I waited and prayed he'd be returned to me, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of anything like this!" "What do you mean, Dana?" Byers asked, concerned. "He doesn't know me! He thinks I died three and a half years ago!" "But how does he explain how you look ... I mean you are Scully!" Langly asked. "He won't even talk about it. I've tried to ask him, but he just shuts down. He tells me that Scully died and then asks me to leave!" the tears flowing freely now. "Is there anything we can do to help?" Frohike said as he took her hand and gently patted the back of it. "I sure hope so," she said as she opened her purse and pulled out a large brown manila envelope. "I have the toxicology report on him and the remainder of the blood sample. There are a number of things that the lab couldn't identify. I was hoping maybe you guys might be able to find out ... more!" she said looking up, pleading! "We'll certainly give it a shot!" Byers said as he took the envelope from her hand. He strolled over by the computer, pulling the report out of the envelope and scanning its contents. "Dana, this'll take some time." "I appreciate anything you can do," she said as she got up to leave. She walked over to the door and put her hand on the doorknob. Without even turning around, she said, "I CAN'T lose him!" She opened the door and walked out closing the door behind her. By the time she got to the car, the tears were cascading down her cheeks. She got in the driver's seat and pummeled the steering wheel with her fists. "Why can I never be happy!" she screamed and collapsed on the steering wheel with torrents of tears. After several minutes, when there were no more tears left, she put the key in the ignition and headed home. xxxxxxxxxx (The Next Morning) Scully didn't sleep very well all night. She tossed and turned and when she finally did drift off to sleep, she had a wide variety of dreams/nightmares. In one, she and Mulder were about to make love. In another, he was telling her that he hated her, hated her for pretending to be 'his' Scully. At about 4:00 am, she woke up screaming! All she knew was fear! When she finally relaxed enough to think about the dream, she realized that Mulder died because he didn't trust her enough to watch his back. She was so scared that she wouldn't even try to go back to sleep. She got up, made herself a hot cup of tea and curled up on the couch. Something had to give! This was driving her crazy! At about 8:30 am, she was ready to go. She decided to drop by and see Mulder before he was released. She was only too aware that once he left the hospital, she'd have no excuse to see him. That scared her! When she arrived at his room, she gently knocked on the door. When there was no reply, she quietly pushed it open. He was sound asleep. She walked in and went and sat in the chair by the bed. She sat and watched him sleep. When he was like this, he was still the Mulder she knew and loved. "I will get you back, Mulder! I won't quit until I do!" she told him as she reached up and brushed a stray hair away from his forehead. She sat back down and just watched him sleep. At times like this she could almost believe that this was just like any number of other times that Mulder had landed in the hospital. That she was just waiting for him to wake up so life could go on. At this moment she hoped life would stop going on, just long enough for them to figure out what had been done to him. She had been sitting there for quite a while, when he started tossing and turning and crying out her name. She was pleased to think that he was dreaming about her, she only wished reality wasn't the way it was. She knew the best way to wake him from one of these nightmares was to put her arms around him and gently pull him back to the present. At this point she didn't figure he'd appreciate that method. It actually startled her to realize how much it hurt to know that he wouldn't appreciate her arms around him. The nightmare seemed to be getting worse, so she finally got up and went over by the bed. She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder and gently shook, in an effort to rouse him from sleep. When that didn't work, she quietly said his name. As soon as he heard her voice, his eyes popped open. She almost missed it, but he definitely had a relieved look on his face, for at least a second or two. It was quickly replaced by a look of confusion. "Why are you here in the middle of the night?" he asked, still half asleep. "It's not the middle of the night. It's 11:30 am." "Oh, sorry. I've been sleeping a lot lately." "It's good for you. Lots of sleep will help your body heal faster ... So how are you feeling?" "Not too bad. I think they are going to release me today, but I can't go back to work for at least another two weeks," he said sounding really disappointed. "I just want to get on with my life." Before Scully replied, her cell phone rang. She took it out of her pocket, flipped it open, turned it on and responded "Scully." "Agent Scully. John Byers here." "Byers, did you find something out?" "I'll say we have!" "Well, tell me," she exclaimed. "I'd really rather you came over here, so we can show you." "Okay. I'll be there within the hour," she said, then disconnected the line and dropped the phone back into her pocket. "What do you have to do with Byers ... the Lone Gunmen?" Mulder asked. "They're trying to help me figure out what's going on here!" she replied. "I know what's going on. You're a fake. I don't understand why you're doing this. You have everyone convinced -- but not ME!" She saw the anger in his face. "Look, you were always open to extreme possibilities. Please don't close your mind now!" She stood there not saying anything for a minute. Then she headed for the door. When she put her hand on the door handle, Mulder said, "Can I call you sometime?" His words were like music to her ears. Maybe there really was a chance! "Sure," she said. "Just ask Skinner for the number." She started to pull the door open. "That won't be necessary," he said casually. "I know the number." Scully's knees almost gave out from beneath her. She managed the couple of steps to herself out of the door. Once outside the door, she almost fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. She was caught by Dr. Albertson. "Are you okay, Dr. Scully?" She regained her legs and stood up on her own. "Actually, for the first time in a very long time, I think I just might be all right," she told him. "I'm glad to hear that," he said. "Actually, I wanted to speak to you, Dr. Albertson," she said. "Come and sit down," he said. "What can I do for you?" "Mulder just told me that he thought you were going to release him today. Is that true?" she asked skeptically. "All I told him was that I'd see. He's very insistent that he's fine." "That's typical for Mulder. Tell me doctor to doctor, are you really considering it?" "His ankle has been set and will heal as well at home. Even his jaw, will be okay. His lung is what worries me. The could go bad very quickly. If he was alone ..." "That's what really concerns me too," she said. "If he had someone he could stay with, I'd be more inclined to agree," Dr. Albertson stated. "There is no one. He doesn't have any family and since he thinks I'm dead, that leaves me out," Scully said sadly. "It was on my way to talk to him when I ran into you. Given the situation, I think he really needs to stay a few more days." "I'm glad to hear you say that," Scully said, relieved. At least she'd be able to see him for a few more days. Scully stood outside Mulder's door for a few minutes after Dr. Albertson went inside. Then she turned and strode down the hall on her way to see the Gunmen and, with any luck, some answers! xxxxxxxxxx (Two hours later) "All right, guys, this had better be good," Scully said, sitting down in the chair Frohike couldn't wait to offer her. "You told me you'd found something in that blood sample that would give us answers." "Actually, we've found some things that are certainly weird, but we still can't explain his condition," Langly answered. "That is something only Mulder can tell us," Frohike added. "And, considering he doesn't talk to me, that ain't gonna happen," Scully answered bitterly. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, guys, I didn't mean to sound so bitter. It's just that ..." "We understand," Byers said. "We don't know what's going on either." "Anyway," Langly said, "when we ran a couple of tests on the blood sample our computers showed us something really strange. Quite unexpected." "What?" Scully asked, moving closer to the computer monitor. "We tested his blood for all kinds of drugs, known kinds and ... well, lesser-known variants, but basically we didn't find anything that the toxicology report didn't already cover." "They did a damn good job at the hospital," Frohike remarked. "They had Skinner and myself looking over their shoulders," Scully said with a slight smile. Frohike looked at her. "That's the kind of woman I like." "What about the stuff they found in his blood we couldn't identify?" "We don't know," Byers answered. "We can't figure out what it is either. We have access to all the sources of information that money-- ..." "... and hacking," Langly interjected with a grin. "... and hacking can buy, but whoever did this to Mulder had access to technology and knowledge no one on earth has. It's literally unknown to science. We are, of course, still looking, but as of now we don't know." "This could explain his condition," Frohike said. "What condition do you mean?" Scully asked. "The fact that he refuses to know me or what?" "No, the fact that he looked like an extra from a cheesy 1950s horror movie." Scully rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay! But you guys told me you'd found something interesting. What?" "Well, this may sound a bit far-out ..." "Try me," Scully deadpanned. Langly grinned before he continued. "... but the fact that he believes you are dead, that you died of cancer, even though he hasn't been missing for more than two weeks, it ... well, it looks like we're talking parallel universes here." "Actually, that's exactly what Skinner and I have been thinking," Scully answered. "Do you have proof for that?" "There can be no definite proof for the existence of parallel universes," Byers said, "but we can prove that he is somehow different from who he was before." "How?" "He's changed blood type." Scully couldn't believe her ears. "WHAT?" "Yup, he changed from A to AB," Langly said. "Now you can't do that unless ..." "... unless you have a bone marrow transplant," Scully said softly. She looked at the three men in the room. "Mulder had cancer?" "It looks that way, yeah." "But it's gone now, right?" Scully asked. "I mean, he's cured now, isn't he?" "Apparently. There are no signs of any cancer cells in the blood sample we examined." Scully heaved a shuddery sigh. "It's true then, isn't it? He is another Mulder ..." She shook her head as she felt tears run hot over her face. The idea she might have lost her Mulder forever was a terrifying one. "We don't know that yet, Dana," Byers said softly, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Maybe there will be an explanation ..." She looked up at him, but he couldn't meet her eyes. "Do you believe that, John?" He shook his head. "I don't believe it, but I keep hoping ... It's all we can do now." xxxxxxxxxx The decision was made that Mulder would be kept ignorant as far as any information was concerned that would prove a discrepancy between his world and the one he'd been plunged into until either party could be proven wrong. It was also decided that he was to be kept in hospital till they could somehow find a way to fit him into his new surroundings, under the pretence of keeping a close eye on his lung. This proved to be quite a bit of foresight when he developed a mild case of pneumonia and at least it made him agree that perhaps the best place for him to be was indeed the hospital. His attitude towards Scully improved, too. He still refused to regard her as his partner, as his Scully, stubbornly but understandably clinging to his conviction that his Scully was dead, but he now tolerated Scully to be around. "It is strange how you affect me," he remarked one morning, about one week later. She looked up from his charts. She'd known he'd been studying her and wondered when he would say something. "Is that a good thing or bad?" she smiled. He smiled back. "Actually, it's a good thing. Not a lot of things do affect me that way, you know." Scully only smiled. "But you confuse me as well," he said after a minute. "Because I look so much like your Scully?" He nodded. "Yeah. And I just can't help feeling drawn to you. It's as if we share a kinship I have only experienced once before ..." She didn't reply. Instead she drew a chair closer to the bed and decided to touch on a subject she'd been avoiding ever since he woke up from his coma. "Would you like to talk about her?" He looked at her intensely as if he tried to figure out whether she was serious or not. "What about her?" She looked down at her hands. "I had cancer myself," she said softly. She looked up just in time to see him stiffen. "What kind of cancer?" "Nasopharyngeal cancer," she answered softly. He paled. "Just like ..." She nodded. "Just like your Scully." "But you ..." "I didn't die," Scully answered. "Mul-- my partner found a cure for me in the nick of time and it saved my life. Unfortunately, we had our chain-smoking friend to thank for that, which is a bit of an awkward IOU to be honest." "You mean CGB Spender? But he's dead," Mulder answered. "He is, but he did help us back then ..." Mulder swallowed heavily. "I'd kiss his feet if only he'd been there for us when she was so sick. I felt so utterly helpless and useless." "How ... how did she die?" Scully asked very softly. Mulder didn't look at her when he answered. Instead he looked out the window. "Maggie and I took her home, only three days before she passed away as we later found out. We didn't want her to die in a cold hospital and there was nothing the doctors could do for her anymore anyway. Her speech was impaired by then and she and I had changed to communicating by looks and gestures. "Then, on the third day, she indicated she wanted to go outside. She'd lost a lot of weight so I wrapped her in a blanket and carried her into the garden and there we sat down on the lawn. I told he she shouldn't try to stay awake for my sake and in response she looked up at me and smiled, for the very first time in many weeks. I'll never forget that smile ..." He sighed. Scully wiped a tear from her eyes, sensing the intense pain he experienced. "Gradually she dozed off. She died about thirty minutes later. Peacefully in her sleep." She saw him shake his head, his eyes closed. "Quite the opposite of what we'd always expected." She smiled at his words. Quite the opposite indeed. "What did you do afterwards?" "Buried myself in my work. Had to. I'd promised her I wouldn't try to get myself killed, but it was all I could think about whenever I had time to myself. It has gotten better over the years though and I sometimes even sleep right through the night without thinking of her once, but I feel like a real jerk when I realize it. It feels like a regular insult ..." Scully sighed, remembering the dream she'd woken him up from only a few nights ago. "I don't mind if you don't dream." Mulder looked at her. "She won't mind it either, I know that, but that still doesn't change how I feel about it, does it?" (One hour later) Scully was sitting in the nurse's station. She'd been there for about an hour now, having left Mulder fairly quickly after he'd finished his account of what had happened. He'd been too emotional, too distressed to have her around to confuse him even more. She could still hear his words. she thought She had to admit, though, that it was comforting to know that, had she died, she would at least have had a peaceful one, being at home and held by Mulder. During all the time she'd had cancer, her greatest fear had been dying all alone in a hospital where no one cared enough to hold her hand when it would happen. At least his Scully had been allowed the comfort of dying in the arms of someone who loved her dearly. She rose and left the tiny room for home. xxxxxxxxxx (Two days later) "Dana," Mulder addressed her when she entered his room that morning. They'd agreed he should use her first name for now to make it all a bit easier for him. "Did you speak to Dr Albertson about it?" Scully nodded. "I did and he doesn't see why you should not be allowed to go out. After all, the only reason you're still here is because they want to keep an eye on your lung. Where do you want to go?" He looked at her for a moment. "Take flowers to her grave. It's been so long ..." Scully swallowed an unexpected lump. "Of course. When would you like to go?" "As soon as possible really. I feel rather guilty although I do know she won't mind. She knows I have a knack for ending up in hospitals." Scully smiled. "Yes, you have." "There is another reason I want to go as well, and I want you to come for that reason, Dana." "What reason is that?" He studied her calmly for a moment. "You said you are my Scully. In fact everyone says so and I must admit I'm almost too convinced to suit myself. I need to find out myself, but I don't want to do that alone." "You want to see whether her grave is there or not?" He nodded. "What are you going to do when her grave isn't there?" He smiled a bit. "Then," he said, "I will believe you and everyone else even when I still don't understand what has happened to you and me." "And what when we do find her grave?" Mulder's eyes became unexpectedly hard. "Then I don't want to see you ever again in my life!" Scully flinched at his words, but pulled herself together and nodded, not avoiding his intense look. "If we do find her grave, please allow me a moment to pay my respect. After that I will disappear from your life, despite the pain such actions will cause in me." (The next day) Scully was pretty sure the flowers he'd ordered were among the most expensive the florist could provide, but Mulder didn't seem phased. "I don't care if I have to skip a meal a day for a week, as long as I can afford these," he said by means of explanation. She felt impressed, moved and thrilled by his words all at once. She still found it hard to believe that the woman he talked about was her, and that the amount of love and respect he so openly showed was all for her. "They're beautiful," she said softly. Then she looked at her own bouquet which couldn't match up at all and felt slightly embarrassed. "I feel a bit stupid now." He shook his head. "Not at all. It's a beautiful bouquet you bought and I really appreciate it." She smiled. "Thank you." The trip to the cemetery was spent in silence. Scully glanced at Mulder a few times during the ride, but he seemed lost in thought and she dared not interrupt his thoughts. When they arrived at the cemetery and walked towards the entrance gates, Mulder turned towards her. "Dana, I owe you an apology." "Why is that?" "Yesterday I told you that, when we'd find Scully's grave, I would never want to see you again, but I didn't mean it. If you feel the same, I would like to stay in touch." Scully felt her heart jump for joy. "There's nothing I'd want more." "You've been more of a comfort and support to me in the past weeks than I could ever have deserved, and you stir a desire to live in me. Maybe that is because you're so much like my Scully and it's simply impossible for me to deny the feelings I experience whenever you're around." She smiled. "Remember, we still have the truth about me to discover," she said, pushing the gates open. "Are you ready?" She saw him take a deep breath and close his eyes for a moment. Then he looked at her. "I'm ready," he told her. xxxxxxxxxx As soon as they stepped through the gates, Scully stopped. The fear of what was going to happen consumed her. Mulder took a few more steps before he realized she had stopped. He stopped, turned around and looked at her. He immediately saw the fear in her eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned. "I'm fine," she replied, but thought only to herself, He instantly stiffened at her words and then nervously licked his lips. "Sometimes you are so much like her," he said as he dropped his head sadly. "I'm sorry, M … um, Fox. I'm not trying to hurt you by making you think of her. I'm just being myself," she told him. He shook his head, which was dropped towards the ground, "I just don't understand any of this!" "I know, it's pretty mind boggling, but we'll figure it out … somehow." He gulped and raised his eyes to hers. "Shall we get on with it?" "Yeah, lets," she said as she continued along the path. He caught up to her easily and placed his hand on the small of her back. Scully gasped slightly at his touch that was so familiar! He didn't even seem to realize the significance of what he'd done. Scully knew immediately when he reached the area of the cemetery that he was looking for. Not only were her father and sister buried here, but he stopped and looked around for a minute. She could also see him shaking ever so slightly. He was very torn about this whole situation. Part of him wanted to find the grave so all this confusion could be done with. The other part, realized that if he didn't find her grave, maybe she really wasn't dead! Could that really be possible? He started to walk slowly down the path between the first two rows of graves. Scully followed him, but she stayed a few steps behind. She didn't want to intrude, but she wanted to be close by if he needed her. He was clenching the flowers so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He was very nervous. He stopped about half way down the aisle. He closed his eyes and stood there motionless for several minutes. She could tell he was trying desperately to summon the courage to look. After several minutes had gone by, he finally opened his eyes and looked down at the gravestones. He staggered slightly and a large gust of air escaped his lungs as he started shaking his head slowly back and forth. Then his whole body started to shake. She walked up behind him, but he didn't seem to even notice. She wanted to put her arms around him and comfort him. She could see the pain literally pouring off of him. She just couldn't be sure he would appreciate the comfort. She didn't want to upset him any further. When she looked up at his face, she saw a single tear roll down his cheek. It just about broke her heart. She then looked down and saw what he saw … her father's grave and her sister's grave … no third Scully grave. She realized how confused and frustrated he must be feeling. She reached out and touched his arm. He jumped slightly at her touch, but he didn't pull away. He turned and looked at her with huge tears in his eyes. "I … I … don't under…stand!" he said shakily. When her eyes met his, she almost wanted to cry. She'd never seen so much pain and confusion in another person's face. Seeing as it was Mulder's face, it hurt twice as much. "I know you're confused and upset. I'd give just about anything to take the pain and confusion off your face and out of your mind, but I can't! I promise you that I will find the answers! I want to know what happened every bit as much as you do!" He looked up at her, tears still flooding his eyes. "What do you say we get out of here?" she asked him, gently trying to lead him away. He didn't answer her, but he did let her lead him away from this spot. He didn't say a word until they were almost back to the gate. "Thank you, Dana," he managed to finally choke out. "For what?" she asked. "For caring … God knows I haven't given you much reason to." She turned to face him and put her hand gently on his cheek. "Believe me," she said, "There are many reasons why I care," she said softly. "Hopefully someday you'll understand and maybe even remember some of them." "Dana, what is going on? You look like her, you act like her, but you can't possibly BE her! She died in my arms! Part of me wants you out of my life forever, but the other part feels very close to you and I don't know why! "Feeling that way upsets me greatly! I never thought I could feel that way about another woman. It makes me feel disloyal and that hurts." She looked up at him and said, "It's not disloyal if I am that woman." "But … but … you can't be. I felt the last of her life leave her body. I couldn't have imagined that … could I?" "I know this is difficult, but please don't close your mind. At least think about it. Try and search your mind and see if you can remember anything - anything at all!" He shook his head affirmatively when Scully looked up at him, she could see how much this trip had taken out of him. "Come on," she said as she put her hand on his arm and gently pulled "Let's get you back to the hospital so you can rest." He didn't resist. The drive back to the hospital was a quiet one. Neither one of them said much. Every once in a while, Scully would look over at him and he would be staring out the window. She knew he was running through the day's events as well as what she had said to him. She didn't interrupt. She left him with his thoughts. By the time they got back to the hospital and to his room, Mulder was exhausted - both physically and emotionally! He could barely keep his eyes open. He quickly stripped down to his boxers and crawled right into bed. Scully stood over by the window, pretending she was looking out. She didn't want him to notice her watching. It hadn't really been that long since she'd seen him like this, but it felt like a lifetime ago. She had almost forgotten how truly gorgeous he was. She wanted this man so much! If she could just convince him who she was, she now knew that he'd want her too. Just thinking about it made her weak in the knees. As he crawled into bed, she headed for the door. When she put her hand on the door handle, she turned and looked back at him. He appeared to be asleep already. "Good night," she whispered. Then she turned and pulled the door open, "Good night, my love," she said all but under her breath. Before she stepped out of the room, she heard Mulder stir. As she turned to look at him, he said, "Dana … are you leaving?" "I was hoping to sneak out without disturbing you. I know how tired you are." "Would it be presumptuous of me to ask you a favour?" he asked, still half asleep. "Of course not. Ask away." "Would you mind staying for a while?" "Not at all, if that's what you want." "I would appreciate it," he said as he rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes again. Within minutes he was sound asleep. She closed the door behind her and just stood there watching him sleep. She never thought she'd feel so happy over something so simple. He actually wanted her here! Just then her cell phone rang and brought her out of her reverie. She pulled the phone out of her pocked and flipped it open. "Scully." "John Byers here." As soon as she heard who was on the phone, she got up and stepped out into the hall. "Hi, Byers. What can I do for you?" "Well, we've found out something interesting. Could you come over so we can tell you about it?" She thought for a minute before she replied, "Can't you tell me over the phone? I'm kind of busy at the minute," she said hesitantly. "Are you okay, Scully?" he asked. "Yeah … I'm at the hospital with Mulder. He had a really rough day. He asked me to stay. I just can't …" she broke off, tears evident in her voice. "Okay, if it's that important to you," he replied. "But are you sure your phone is clean?" "It was checked this morning and I've had it with me all day," she replied. "Okay, I just wouldn't want any of this to get out. We kept digging to see if we could find anything else. Frohike managed to come up with something that's in the very least, interesting." "What is it?" she asked. "One of the drugs that was in Mulder's system has been linked to cases of brain washing." "Are you sure?" Scully asked. "Positive. Langly hacked into a well hidden government database. It took us a while to break the code, but when we did, what we found was mind boggling! "It was a database for a secret government project. A study, if you will, about brain washing and mind control." "Are you sure it's the same drug?" she asked anxiously. "Absolutely!" he replied. "Tell me the truth, Byers. Do you think it's possible that that's what was done to Mulder?" "You should know better than anyone - after all the things you've seen - that just about anything is possible." "But, do you think that's what was done to Mulder?" "I'm not sure. I have gone over all of the reports. All the cases in the study were complete washes. All their memories were removed and replaced with new ones. Mulder doesn't fall into that category." After thinking for a few minutes, she said, "Or does he?" "What do you mean?" Byers asked. "What if they had decided to try a new experiment? What if they decided to try erasing and/or altering only certain memories? That would seem like a natural progression, wouldn't it?" Byers tried to hide it, but a little laugh slipped out. "I really don't think this is very funny," she snapped. "I'm sorry. That wasn't what I was laughing at. If I didn't know better, I'd say that had been one of Mulder's theories." "I guess over the years, he has rubbed off on me somewhat," she said almost laughing too. "I know without looking at extreme possibilities, there would be no hope of figuring this out. Not figuring it out is something that I just can't even think about right now. I promised him I'd figure it out … and I will! I have to!" "Scully, it sounds like you two may be getting along better." "Actually, we are. He's very confused, but he doesn't hate me anymore and he did ask me to stay for a while tonight .. Do you think what I asked is possible?" "I don't honestly know. With the technology available to the public, I would say no. With some of the 'behind the scenes' studies and experiments being carried on, God only knows what they may have come up with." "Thank you for all of your help. With Mulder in this situation there really isn't anyone else I could turn to - especially when extreme possibilities come into play." "Yeah, this situation is definitely in the realm of extreme possibility! We all want to help you and Mulder anyway we can. You both deserve to be happy." "Thanks. Can I ask you one more question?" she asked. "Sure. What is it?" "If it's drug-induced brain washing shouldn't it have worn off my now?" "I didn't say it was drug induced. The study indicated that the drug was used to aid in brain washing. Look, before we jump all over this, let's wait and see what else I can find out. then we can decide how we want to handle it, okay?" "You're probably right. I'm just having a difficult time being patient here. I want him back so badly." "I know, but just sit tight. We'll figure it out." "Thanks. Talk to you soon," she said as she disconnected the line and dropped the phone back into her pocket. When she went back into his room, he was sleeping like a baby. She knew she should leave, but he asked her to stay awhile. She couldn't bring herself to let him down, so she sat down in the chair beside his bed. He was so exhausted he probably wouldn't wake again before morning, but if he did he wouldn't be alone. Right now he might even let her comfort him. Well, that clinched it! She wasn't going anywhere! She sat by his bed for the longest time, just watching him sleep. He looked so adorable when he slept. At about 8:00 pm, he began to toss and turn. It gradually became more and more violent until he finally sat bolt upright in bed, wide awake. "Fox, are you okay?" she asked, her voice full of concern. For an instant he looked at her with a strange look on his face and then he quickly looked away. For an instant it was almost like he didn't understand why she'd called him Fox. "I'm okay. I was just dreaming." "Was it one of your nightmares?" "You know about those too?" "Of course I do. I've had to waken you from them many times." "Actually it was a pretty good dream," he replied. "If it was a nice cream, why did you look so scared when you first woke up?" "I think that trip to the cemetery affected more than my conscious mind." "Was it about her?" she asked cautiously. He shook his head up and down as he tried to fight back tears. Every time she saw tears in his eyes, it just about broke her heart. This whole thing had been so hard on him. Hadn't he already suffered enough? "I didn't think memories of her would frighten you." "That's just it, it wasn't a memory. It was the two of us, but in a situation that never happened. Why would I dream something like that?" Scully instantly froze at his words. "I really don't know," she said as she reached out and touched his hand. "Could you tell me about it?" "It wasn't any big deal. The circumstances had never happened. I just don't understand why I would dream something like that." "I know it's confusing, but please tell me about the dream. I have a reason for asking, but I'd rather you tell me about the dream before I explain." "Okay. It was New Year's Eve. I couldn't tell for sure but the room we were in looked like a hospital or clinic waiting room. I don't know what happened, but my arm was in a sling." Scully visibly flinched at his words and he didn't miss it. "What is it, Dana? Did I say something wrong?" "No, not at all. Go on, I'll explain later." "Well, it was almost midnight and the TV was tuned in to Dick Clark's New Years' Eve. As the countdown to midnight started, we both looked up at the screen and I slipped my uninjured arm around her shoulders. "When the clock struck midnight I impulsively bent down and kissed her. When I pulled back, I wished her a Happy New Year and she wished me the same. "As we went to leave the room, I glanced up at the TV and it said Happy New Year 2000! "That's when I woke up. My Scully had died before that! That's what scared me!" When he looked up at her, her eyes were as round as saucers and her mouth was hanging open. "What's wrong, Dana?" he asked. This snapped her back to reality. "When you hear what I have to say, I don't know if you'll be able to believe it!" she exclaimed, the look of shock still on her face. "Well, give it a try. I don't think it can be any harder to comprehend than her grave not being there." "I guess you're right. The scene that you described to me did happen. The woman you kissed was me!" He had the most confused look on his face. "It can't be ... how?" he said, screwing his face up in puzzlement. "I don't know how or why, but it's obvious that your mind has been played with in some way or another. But it looks to me like the job wasn't done exactly right. Your real memories seem to be coming back." He was almost in tears when he looked her in the eye. "We had just finished a case that involved the Millennium Group ..." "Weren't they a group that believed the world would end with the beginning of the 21st Century?" he asked. "Yes, that's right," she told him. "Do you remember the case, Fox?" "No. In fact, I don't even know how I knew who they were." "We had just closed the case and they had tried to kill you. Fortunately the only real injury you sustained other than minor lacerations and bruises was your arm. That's why it was in a sling." His face was a picture of confusion, pain and fear all rolled into one. It took him a few minutes before he said anything. "Do you have any idea what it's like to hear something that, logically you know isn't true and yet you're beginning to believe it is true?" "I can't say that I do, but by the look on your face, obviously it's very confusing and upsetting." "It definitely is that." "I have had to deal with the other side of the coin. I've had to accept that the one person who meant more to me than anyone else thinks I'm dead! Not exactly a walk in the park." "No, I guess not. " "Look, Mu… I mean Fox, we need to talk about this. If you're not up to it right now, I understand. Get some rest. We can finish this in the morning." "I'd rather do it now. I'll never be able to rest with all of this running through my head. "Fine with me," she agreed. He sat up with his legs hanging over the side of the bed. Scully went over and sat in the chair beside the bed. She pulled it a bit closer, but she was afraid to get too close. (The Next Morning) Finally at about 6:00 am, they had finished talking. At least for now. Mulder had finally fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Scully's brain just kept on going. Their memories were mirror images of each other right up until she found out she had cancer. That's when their memories took divergent paths. How could that be possible? Every moment that passed, she felt the exhaustion overtake more and more of her consciousness. By the time she reached her car, she was so tired she didn't know if she could make it to her apartment. In that instant she knew where she'd go instead. The one and only place she'd be sure to be able to sleep … Mulder's apartment. xxxxxxxxxx Driving to Mulder's apartment turned into a deceptively dangerous business as Scully felt exhaustion take over her body functions one by one and by the time she got there she felt like a timebomb on wheels. Surprisingly damage-free she parked her car and slowly made her way to his place, letting herself in with the key she had. The smell and the feel of the place made her stagger for a moment, although she thought that might also have a lot to do with her rampaging emotions. Anyhow, she was too tired to ponder such things over anyway. Right now all she really needed was an opportunity to sleep. She knew he had a bed, she'd even used it on previous visits here, but those circumstances had been so different. That Dana Scully had been another woman altogether and she herself had no right to use the bed. That other Dana Scully was a woman in love, a woman who loved and was loved so much by the owner of this apartment. This Scully, on the other hand, was a woman whose very identity was being questioned by the man she'd give her life for. And for her the couch would have to suffice. That black leather couch he himself had spent so many nights on, troubled and haunted by the life he led and the things he'd seen. Before he'd allowed himself the comfort of accepting that he was a man in love. Scully tossed her overnight bag in the chair by the desk as she shrugged off her coat to join the bag. She was almost too tired to bother but something in her made her decide that brushing her teeth wouldn't make that much of a difference in time and effort now. Her dentist would be proud. She rummaged through the bag, fished out her toothbrush, toothpaste and a few other toiletries and made her way to the bathroom. (Two hours later) Considering how incredibly tired she'd been, she found it amazingly difficult to fall asleep. Maybe the TV would help, even when she knew deep down that something else was the true culprit and that no amount of early-morning infomercials would help even the slightest bit. She turned onto her back and stared at the barely glowing glo-in- the-dark stars Mulder had sticked to the ceiling. She smiled as she imagined the comfort this could be to him, to have the stars within reach. Then she sighed. If only she could figure out what was going on ... Right now she didn't even know what to think: was this man her Mulder or was he someone else entirely? She'd buy into the Gunmen's theory about him being brainwashed, in fact it was by far the most sensible solution. It made sense, how he didn't know her, and how shreds of memory sometimes proved too strong to keep hidden. But what about that blood-type mystery? How could she possibly explain away such a thing? After all, if Mulder had had cancer she would've known. Especially since he appeared to have received treatment for it. On the other hand, what if this change in blood type had occurred somehow without their knowledge? She knew that only a bone marrow transplant could bring about such a thing, but what was her knowledge compared to what the Syndicate seemed to know? And They'd shown far less trepidation about far worse things than altering a person's blood type. Of course, and she couldn't help a smile as she considered this very down-to-earth theory, the Gunmen could also have made a mistake. Her smile became wider and wider while this latest option quickly became the paramount hypothesis. Hadn't she checked the bloodwork herself after all? She'd done the primary testing on his blood all herself and there had been no indication whatsoever that he'd shown any other blood type than the one she'd always known about. Clearly the Gunmen, for all their admirably good intentions, had simply goofed up at the most basic of tests. They must have had, there was no question about it. "Oh God," she whispered to no one as she thought about the implications. "He is mine!" She felt relieved laughter bubble up from deep within her chest - her heart - and gratefully let it out. It felt so good! She sat up and pulled her overnight bag from under her coat down onto the floor. It took no effort at all to detect the little wooden picture frame on the bottom of the bag. The little frame that contained a picture of Mulder. She'd carried it with her ever since he'd disappeared and, with him in his present condition, she somehow still felt like he was missing. And therefore she still carried it with her. She looked at the photo and tears sprung to her eyes. "I will get you back, Mulder, if it's the last thing I ever do," she vowed. She smiled, then closed her eyes and bit her lip. It was alright to vow if only she knew HOW to bring him back. She believed the Gunmen when it came to their theory about him being brainwashed and it certainly explained the presence of those mysterious drugs, but for all her training and experience she had no clue on how to make him better. She glanced at the clock. Nine in the morning. The sunlight was trying its almightiest to penetrate the blinds, but seemed to fail. The symbolism wasn't lost on her and she got off the couch to open the blinds, letting the sunshine flood the light-starved living room. It looked like it was going to be a gorgeous day. She smiled. Maybe it held a promise ... She turned around at the sound of her cellphone ringing. She dug it up from her coat and flipped it open. "Scully." Nothing. But she could hear someone breathing softly on the other side. She frowned. What the hell was this? "Hello?" Next she could've sworn she heard a sigh. Keeping totally still she focused on what she heard. "Who is -- ... Mulder?" The voice on the other end was barely audible. "I need you, Scully ..." She was off. There was absolutely nothing on this earth that could've spurred her on more than those few words spoken in such a soft tearful voice by this man. His identity was no mystery. "Hold on, Mulder, I'm on my way!" It wasn't until she was in her car that she realised he'd called her Scully, not Dana. And she'd called him Mulder. Could this be the beginning of his return? God, she hoped so. Maybe the effect of the drugs was wearing off, maybe he was coming back, his true identity and memory, maybe this nightmare was indeed about to end. She smiled as she wiped away a lone tear with her finger. It was a bit cruel upon reconsideration, she thought. He'd sounded so helpless and forlorn, and she felt on top of the world. It was such a beautiful day. It seemed fitting. She reached the hospital in what must be a new land-speed record and, after parking her car, raced up to his room, only halting just before she entered. She composed herself, remembering how he'd sounded on the phone and she figured he might not be too charmed by her present very sunny mood. Better be a bit on the safe side. She opened the door and was greeted by Mulder at breakfast. "Dana? Shouldn't you be home?" He sounded genuinely surprised at seeing her here. Her mood dropped faster than a brick in thin air. "You can't have had a lot of sleep. Why are you here?" he continued. "But ... but you called me!" she stammered. "Didn't you?" He frowned, then shook his head. "No. Why would I wanna do that? I've kept you up talking all night, you need your sleep." It was as if the sky came tumbling down on her for good measure. "It wasn't you who called me?" "I don't think it could've been. I've only been awake for about ten minutes. They woke me up for breakfast," he answered. "And, as I've only had about three hours of sleep as well I wasn't too happy about it." Scully faked a smile. "No 'good morning, sunshine'?" "'Fraid not," he smiled. Then he looked at her. "What's wrong, Dana? You look like you've seen a ghost." "Fox, I wasn't dreaming this!" "Dreaming what?" "That you called me!" she said exasperated. "I was lying on your couch, trying to fall asleep, when I saw the sun shining. Just when I pulled open the blinds I heard my cell phone ringing. And when I answered it, there was no answer at first, but then I heard you saying "I need you, Scully."! I was wide awake when it happened, I wasn't dreaming that!" She saw him look at her. He looked stunned by what she'd said. Then he took at deep breath and replied slowly, "It wasn't you who dreamt that, Dana. It was me ..." Scully couldn't bring out a word. "I dreamt about her, Dana, though I suppose that is hardly an exception to any rule. But just before I was woken up by the nurse I cried out - probably only in my dreams - I cried out for her." "It wasn't more than a whisper when I heard it," Scully said, "I barely understood it at all." She shook her head and looked down. They didn't speak for minutes. Then she looked up at him. "What's going on here?" Mulder didn't reply. "You haven't used your cell phone, have you?" He shook his head. "Of course not. The use of cellullar phones in hospitals is forbidden. Besides, I don't even have mine right now. I seem to have ... erm ..." "Lost it?" Scully finished for him. "Mislaid it," Mulder corrected her with a grin. Scully smiled while she pulled out her cell phone. "It was your phone calling me. Look." She showed him the last incoming call. There was no doubt about it, that was his number. "Do you think someone could have used the phone to lure me to the hospital?" she said. "Because if so, I don't understand for what reason." He shook his head. "I don't know." He stirred his spoon around in his bowl of cereal. "Fancy some? I'm not hungry." "You should eat. You look like you could use it." "You trying to fatten me up?" he said with a lopsided smile. Scully smiled. "It's unlikely you're going to grow fat on O.J. and cornflakes, Fox. But you need your strength." "What for? The X-Files? They're a bottomless pit full of shit without her," he said, unexpectedly bitter. "And speaking of which, why are you, why am I, so fascinated by what is in essence a case of mistaken identity? You're not her!" "Fox, I am her! I know I can't explain what caused all this, your condition and your memories, but something has occurred that has made you believe I'm dead. Don't you remember our visit to the cemetery yesterday?" "How can I ever forget?" he said grimly. "Then why can't you accept it? Why are you prepared to seek out the truth in the middle of the South Pole, but you refuse to accept the truth when it's right in front of you! I am her! I am Dana Scully! You told me you were amazed at how much I know about you, things that no one could ever know, how do you explain that? I am her!" "No! No, you can't be her! She died in my arms!" "She did, but I didn't! Mulder, don't you understand? They've altered your memory! We've found drugs in your system that are linked to brain washing, the Gunmen told me everything. Whoever did this to you, brainwashed you into believing that I'm dead!" "But why would They go as far as that? For what purpose?" She spoke softer now, looking at him and pleading for understanding. "To pry us apart. To make us vulnerable, as vulnerable as it is possible for Them to achieve." She sat down on the bed, closer than she'd ever dared to get since his reappearance in the hospital. She took both his hands in hers. "Mulder, we're stronger than anything on this planet when we're together. Our respect for each other, our love for each other, as long as we have that we can face just about anything they throw in our paths. They know that and They also know They can't hurt us, really hurt us, as long as we stay together ..." He drew a shuddery breath. "But why me?" She slipped a hand around the back of his neck. "I don't know. Maybe my cancer was just too good an opportunity to miss ..." He looked at her. "It will never stop, will it?" She slowly shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Not until They succeed." She let him go and he lay back against the pillows while she cleared up breakfast. "You need to sleep." "Don't go," he said. Scully smiled. "I need some sleep, too, Mulder. I'm a wreck." He only shook his head, his eyes closed. "Don't leave me now." He opened his eyes. She felt as if they pulled her towards him. She sat down on the edge of the bed, and then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she lay down beside him. It had been so long, she realised, since they'd been side by side. The realisation brought tears to her eyes and she couldn't stop them. "Mulder ..." His arm came around her, pulling her to him. "I need you to bring me back, Scully," she heard him whisper, the tears evident. "I can't do it myself. I'm trapped and I don't know how to get out of here ... Bring me back. Please ..." "Oh God, Mulder, I'm so sorry ..." "What for?" "For putting you through all this," she said softly, her tears soaking into the pillow. "For making you look at the graves when I took you to the cemetery, for forcing you to believe me. For not watching your back when you needed me to ..." Mulder couldn't believe what she was saying. For Christ's sake, she was blaming herself? "Scully, listen to me! I was the one who wanted to go to the cemetery, remember? They may have altered my memory, but I can remember some things, and among that is that I nearly kicked you out of my life - and you accepted that because I was convinced it would make me happier. You accepted that because making me happy is what you want most." Scully looked at him. He smiled through his tears. "Is that a surprise to you? That I know that?" Really it shouldn't have, but she still found it a pretty baffling idea. "Scully, I have a lifetime of apologies to make to you - and that's not counting anything that's happened outside of this mess. I don't know what's been going on, I don't know what has happened to me. I still find it hard to believe I've got you back, but holding you is probably the best proof I could have ever had, and I will accept it. Better still, I do accept it and God knows I'm gonna enjoy it, too ..." She smiled, matching his smile. "We've got a long way to go, Mulder. You're not back yet." "That's all right. I'm ready for a wild ride ..." "Well, not now anyway. Mind if I stay here to sleep?" she asked playfully. He grinned. "Thought you'd never ask ..." They were silent for a long time. Scully was pretty positive she'd never felt better, though she might want to alter that idea later on. But for now it felt pretty damn good, being here. And that's when she remembered something: "Mulder, are you still awake?" "Mmmmm?" "Promise me something." "Anything." "Don't forget her." He didn't reply for a long time, but just when she began to wonder whether he'd actually heard her, he said, "I don't think I ever could. Or ever can." xxxxxxxxxx (One week later, the basement office) "Mulder, what are you doing here?" Scully was surprised to find Mulder in the office. "You weren't supposed to come to work yet. Dr Albertson --..." "I'm not working," he said without looking up from the X-Files in the cabinet. "Then what are you doing?" "Looking for ..." He pulled out a file and waved it in her direction. "... proof." "Of what?" "That you've been here all the time." "You don't believe me?" He looked at her and sighed, seeing her hurt expression. "Scully, I do believe you, but ... it's just so incredible and I guess I needed to see it with my own two eyes." "What case is that?" "Oh, just a random file I picked from the ones investigated after you were cured," he answered, placing it on his desk. Scully went over to look at the case file he'd chosen. Seeing which one it was, she cut him a look. "I think you were stretching the truth a little, weren't you, Mulder? This isn't just any old file, you chose this one for a purpose," she smiled. It was the Millennium-group case file. He smiled at her. "Actually, you're right, I did choose this one on purpose." He opened the manilla folder and took out the field report, going straight to the last page. At the bottom of the page he saw the proof he'd been looking for. "Two signatures," he said softly. "Yours and mine," Scully finished for him. "Your dream happened." He slowly nodded yes. "Unbelievable." She put her arm around his waist as she looked at the report he was still holding. She felt his eyes on her and looked up. "Does Skinner know you're here?" "I think he does," he answered. "Did the guys find anything else yet?" "No, they didn't," she answered. "And Byers told me that they've all but exhausted whatever sources they can access. I think it's time for us to start looking at other possibilities to restore your memory." He pulled her a bit closer. "We could, of course, do this any way we like, right? After all, I wouldn't notice ..." Scully didn't miss the tone in his voice. She liked it. A lot. "What exactly do you have in mind, Agent Mulder?" He turned her so they faced each other. His eyes took her breath away. "Well, after seven years together, I mean, you're still young and I'm not too old and ..." "You want me to bend the course of history in our favour?" she said softly. She felt warm with the idea. "Scully, I want to tell you something and I want you to listen and not say anything until I've finished, okay?" She nodded. "After you'd died, I went back to work almost straight away. Skinner thought I was insane, and I think that I was in a way. I put in a request for a transfer to another division and the transfer was approved. I went to the environmental crimes division, I worked for Kersch there. I didn't particularly enjoy my work, nor was I the best man for the job. And Kersch hated my guts as much as I hated his. But I needed to be as far away from the X-Files or the VCS as I possibly could. Every time I'd think of our work, I'd think of you and I'd pretty much burst out in tears, which is not a good thing in the boys' club that is the FBI. "Kersch slowly started to accept me, I did well, despite my lack of experience and training. I never talked about aliens, worked 18 hours straight every day of the week so I'd be too tired to think of you when I came home. It didn't work, you were on my mind 24/7 no matter what I did. In a way, and I know that now, I was punishing myself, not allowing myself to grieve to mourn. I was becoming a robot, slowly working myself to death. Some people drink themselves to death, I was trying to work myself to death. You want to know why?" Scully couldn't answer. She didn't even know if she wanted to know. Mulder shook his head. "I understand why you don't want to know, it's not an easy thing to answer. In fact I didn't even want to know why for a long long time. But I know now. "Scully, I realised I'd made a terrible mistake. Not a crime, just a mistake, but it was bad enough regarding myself. Slowly I came to realise I'd spent five years working with the most wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman I'd ever met, a woman I admired endlessly. Five years! But even when she was dying I couldn't tell her so, I was still too much of a coward, and she died without ever having known how important she was to me ..." Scully couldn't believe what she was hearing. Such frankness wasn't remotely like him ... "Night after night I cursed myself for not having told her how much I loved her, but it was simply too late. I'd missed my chance and had to pay the price. "So, when I woke up from my coma and I saw you, I thought someone was playing a sick joke, mocking my feelings. That's why I was so furious with you, and you know it. But what I haven't told you is that, when you were away, I was silently wondering whether it could possibly be true. Whether I'd been given a second chance." He paused as he cradled her face in his hands and softly pressed a kiss on her forehead. Then he looked back at her. "Of course I know the truth about what happened now, but ... I'm not going to waste this opportunity. I can't afford it. It's just that ... are you willing to share this second chance at life with me?" She could read the unspoken question in his eyes and she felt cold and warm all at once. Oh God, he wasn't asking ... He was ... "Are you asking me to ... to marry you?" she said softly. He nodded, smiling. "I am. Will you marry me?" "Mulder, are you really serious? Do you really want to marry me? The person who never believes any of your theories? Who pokes holes in anything you say?" "Who stands by me and doesn't leave my side, no matter what people say or do?" he finished for her. "Yes, I'm serious." "Oh God ..." she whispered and completely unbidden she felt tears form. She clasped her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle the outburst, but it was to no avail. She shook her head as tears streamed down her face. "Jesus, Scully, are you okay?" There was only one thing she could do: she flung herself into his arms. And, with her face buried in the curve of his neck, she nodded. "I'm so happy," she sobbed, though she wondered whether he'd understand her. It wasn't important. Mulder in turn hugged her close, relishing the sensation. Feeling how she slowly began to calm down, he released the grip slightly. "Scully?" "Yeah?" Her voice sounded dreadful. "I think I can make an educated guess at how you're feeling, but you haven't actually answered me ..." Scully laughed. He was right. "Yes, Mulder, I will marry you. Did that sound all right?" He grinned. "Better than all right!" Still holding him close she let out a happy sigh. Her mom was going to be ecstatic. That is, as soon as she'd have the chance to tell her. Because various parts of her body were telling other parts of her body that it felt really good to be pressed up against him like this. Really, really good ... Remembering how much she'd wanted him after they'd returned from the cemetery, she nevertheless had never thought it would be this soon. "You know, Mulder ..." "What?" "You don't have to be here, you know." He chuckled. "And, seeing that I'm without a partner on active duty," she continued in a low voice, "there isn't much reason for me to be in the office for either ..." "Mm--mm." "So, what do you say we head for home?" "I like the way you think, Agent Scully." "Thought so ..." THE END Debbie Cullen & Kirsten Kerkhof 20 September 2001