TITLE: "Red Gold"
AUTHOR: Kirsten Kerkhof * kirsten_xf@yahoo.com
CLASSIFICATION: MSR
KEYWORDS: SRA
RATING: R – Mild NC-17
SUMMARY: Christmas-fic
DISCLAIMER: Wish they were ...

*~*~*

18 December

	"HAVE YOU DECIDED WHAT you're going to do this 
Christmas, Mulder?" Dana Scully asked, not looking up from the 
paperwork she and Mulder were trying to wade through.
	"Actually, yes. I'm going to visit my mother for 
Christmas", Fox Mulder answered.
	This answer made Scully look up from her work. "Visit 
your mother? Is everything all right again between you and your 
mother then, Mulder?"
	"Well, not really, of course, too much has happened in the 
last 20-odd years, but I guess we're finally getting closer to what 
we've really wanted for years now and even though I'm a bit 
nervous, I presume I shouldn't let this opportunity slip through my 
fingers."
	"I'm very happy to hear this, you know. I always hoped that 
one day things between you two would get better again. Have you 
made any plans for the holidays?"
	Mulder turned a page absent-mindedly. "No, she only 
called me last night and to be quite honest I really don't know what 
we could do. Or what I can expect. Our relationship hasn't been all 
that good after all. I don't suppose you have any suggestions, 
Scully?"
	"Well, if you think you're up to it, you two could come 
over to my mother's and spend Christmas with us."
	"No, even though I like the idea, I wouldn't want to 
interfere. Your mom has gone through so much over the past five 
years, it's going to be so hard for her anyway. I'm pretty sure she 
doesn't need me around to remind her of the cause of all these 
horrors ..."
	Scully looked at him, tears stinging in her eyes. He always 
felt guilty for what had happened to her and her family, even though 
she knew there was nothing he had been able to do to stop it. And 
still he felt he had let her and her family down.
	"But I'd like you to come, Mulder. And so does my mother. 
Besides, she often told me that she'd love to meet your mother one 
day. You should come, Mulder, and bring your mom. Please?" 
	She saw Mulder look at her, a sad smile on his mouth. She 
rose and crossed the room to stand in front of him, holding her 
hands out to him.
	"Please, do come, Mulder. It'll give you two an easier way 
to get to know each other again. Besides ...", she added with a smile 
"... I've got a Christmas present for you which I don't want to give 
you here in the office."
	"Really? But I'd love to come, if it's not too much of an 
inconvenience for your mother."
	"No, no, you know you're always welcome in the Scully 
home!" Scully answered. "And you're probably not going to 
believe this, but coming over for Christmas might just mean that 
you'll be able to solve one of your X-Files!"
	Mulder looked at her, not quite understanding what it was 
she meant. But she didn't give him additional clues and Mulder 
knew she was not going to tell him anything unless he'd ask her.
	"An X-File? What do you mean? Which X-File?"
	"If only you knew, eh, Mulder?"
	"Oh, come on, Scully. Do tell me."
	"Naw, I don't think I should."
	"Well, if you don't tell me, I won't come!"
	"Okay, then", Scully said, lowering her voice to a 
conspiratorial whisper. "If you do come over, you'll finally find out 
all the answers to whether the elusive Scully-brothers really exist!"
	"You mean, they do exist, Scully?"
	"Come and find the truth, agent Mulder!", Scully answered 
with a beaming smile as she picked up her coat and briefcase and 
headed for the door. "See you in a few days?"
	"You bet", Mulder said to himself, smiling as he watched 
Scully leave the office.

*~*~*
23 December

	"MOM, IS THAT MULDER?", Scully called from the kitchen 
at the sound of the door bell.
	"No, honey, it's Bill and the kids", her mother answered. 
Margaret was glad that Dana couldn't see her smile, the hopeful 
sound in her voice had been so clear.
	"Oh"
	And so was the disappointment in this one little syllable. 
Margaret was pleased, things were going just the way she wanted it.
	 Margaret Scully had known from the very first moment she 
had seen and met Fox Mulder that he was a good man for her 
daughter. And he loved Dana, it was so clear to see. Dana loved 
him, too, though Margaret knew they were both too stubborn - and 
a little scared, maybe - to admit it, even to themselves.
	That was why she had been so glad to hear that Mulder was 
coming over to spend Christmas with them. After all, maybe the 
Christmas atmosphere might just add that little something that was 
still lacking, that little something that would finally make them 
confess what the whole world could see was on their minds most of 
the time.
	Scully sighed. She was busy cleaning the house, but frankly 
her thoughts were all but with the cleaning.
	She was a little tense, nervous. And she knew perfectly well 
why. It wasn't the Christmas period that did that to her. Or being 
with her brothers and their families - which was quite an occasion 
as both Bill and Charlie were out to sea most of the time. No, it was 
that Mulder was coming over for the holidays. And the fact that his 
mother was coming with him didn't exactly make it much easier 
either. On the contrary, it made it even worse, because she knew 
perfectly well what mothers were like ... And with the situation 
between Mulder and her being as it was, she wasn't so sure she 
liked the idea of their mothers as their company all that much and ...
	But then her thoughts were disturbed by the sound of the 
door bell.
	Margaret went to open the door. On the door step was Fox 
Mulder, smiling broadly. And a woman. Margaret knew right away 
that this woman was Mulder's mother.
	"Hi, Mrs Scully", Mulder said with a smile.
	"Hi, Fox", she answered, giving him a brief hug. Then she 
smiled at the woman next to him.
	"Hello, you must be Fox's mother", she said and shook the 
woman's hand. The woman smiled and Margaret knew she was 
going to like her.
	"Yes, my name is Teena Mulder."
	"I'm Margaret Scully. But please, do come in", Margaret 
said, stepping aside to let them inside. "It's frightfully cold 
outside."
	"Indeed it is, Mrs Scully", Teena said, letting Mulder help 
her take off her coat. Then he took off his own jacket and took them 
to the closet.
	"Please call me Margaret, everybody does. Can I call you 
Teena?"
	"Why, of course, I was just ..."
	"Mulder! You're here!", Scully's voice interrupted the 
conversation. Mulder turned around and saw her appear from the 
kitchen. He grinned broadly.
	"Well, if it isn't Cinderella before she goes to the ball", he 
said, looking at his partner. He was surprised that even with her hair 
in a messy pony-tail and dressed in dust-covered jeans and sweater, 
she managed to look absolutely beautiful. Maybe, he thought, it was 
because her whole appearance was so delightfully clear of any 
worrying lines.
	Scully looked at her clothes and smiled a little nervously.
	"I'm sorry, Mrs Mulder, I know I don't look my best. I was 
just busy cleaning the house. Mom, I think we're about done. I 
think I'll go upstairs, take a shower and change into something 
clean, okay?"
	"You need any help, Scully?" Mulder asked, a cheeky glint 
in his eyes.
	Scully felt an unwelcome blush spread over her face, but 
she quickly composed herself and lifting her chin defiantly, she 
answered:
	"In your dreams, Fox Mulder! But you can come and advise 
me on which dress to wear tomorrow. If you want to, of course ...", 
she added whilst turning to climb the stairs.
	"And you really think you need to ask?" Mulder said with a 
grin as he followed Scully upstairs. They both failed to notice the 
expressions on their mother's faces ...
	
	"SCULLY, WHEN ARE YOUR brothers going to arrive?" 
Mulder asked. He was sitting on the bed, watching Scully go 
through the clothes she had brought.
	"You're really keen on solving the mystery, aren't you, 
Mulder?"
	"Mm-mm, you bet. I wouldn't want to miss a chance to 
finding answers to any X-File!"
	"I see", Scully answered with a smile. "Well, one of them, 
Bill, is already here, he and his wife Tara have probably gone for a 
walk or something. The kids are taking a nap. Mulder, have you 
seen the other shoe?" Scully said as she placed two dresses on the 
bed.
	Mulder looked around and picked the shoe up from the 
floor. "Here you are."
	"Thanks. Charlie and his wife and kids will probably arrive 
in ..." she glanced at her watch "... well, we expect them to arrive 
any minute now." 
	She took the two dresses and held them up. "So, which one 
do you prefer?" she said, looking at Mulder.
	"Do I prefer?" Mulder asked. "You mean, I get to choose?"
	"Mm-mm, you're the one who has to look at me, so, which 
one?"
	"Could I talk you into modelling them then?"
	She raised her eyebrows and Mulder grinned.
	"Well, if I wouldn't know which one suited you best, how 
could I make the right decision? It's just what they've taught us, 
Scully ...", he said and got up from the bed to stand right in front of 
her, towering over her. " ... always look at the evidence under the 
best of conditions. Isn't that correct, agent Scully?"
	"Eh, I guess so, I mean ..." Scully stammered, a little 
surprised by the tone of his voice and the way he was - again - 
invading her personal space.
	"Isn't it, agent Scully?" Mulder repeated, standing as close 
to her as he possibly could without touching her. "Oh, and try the 
black one first, please."
	That was the moment he let her go. At least, that was the 
way Scully felt it, for even though he had never touched her in the 
past few minutes, his voice and his look had tied her to him, not 
able to escape even if she had wanted to do so.
	Scully nodded nervously and placed the red dress on the 
bed. Then she took the black dress with her to the adjoining room.
	And Mulder waited.
	"Well", he said to himself as he glanced around the room, 
waiting for Scully to reappear. "This is the part where Cinderella 
turns into the Belle of the Ball." Ready to face her prince. Whoa, 
Mulder, making plans for the Christmas holidays? He grinned. 
	'Maybe. Just maybe', he thought.
	In his mind he imagined Scully wearing the dress he had 
chosen. He was certain it would fit her perfectly, accentuating her 
curves just right. It was a rather simple, velvet dress, nothing fancy. 
	'That's my Scully', he thought with a smile. 'Always 
managing to look stunning in the simplest of clothes because she 
knows they suit her best.'
	He admired that in her. Other women he had met had 
always liked dresses with a lot of decorations on them. Or too much 
jewellery. He didn't like that. Such things distracted the attention 
from the woman who was wearing them to the dress and jewels, he 
thought. Scully was different. She wasn't much concerned about her 
looks, she probably trusted her good taste to guide her.
	'At least that's something she knows she can still trust', he 
thought wryly. No, bad taste was something no-one could accuse 
Dana Scully of.
	Then the door opened and Scully re-entered the room. And 
Mulder knew right away the ought to put warning signs on dresses 
like that. For she looked breath-takingly beautiful in that dress.
	It fit her like a glove, from her flawless shoulders, via her 
trim waist to her small feet in black high-heeled shoes. The pony 
tail was gone, instead she had put her hair back in the simple bob 
she always wore to work. For some reason it had never looked as 
sexy as now. Her cross necklace was the only piece of jewellery she 
wore. And needed.
	She showed the garment like a professional model and gave 
Mulder a dazzling smile. Then she stood still with her hands on her 
hips, eyebrows raised, and asked:
	"Well, Mulder, what do you think? Is this dress alright?"
	'Understatement of the year!', Mulder thought as he cleared 
his throat. "Could you get me glass of water, please?"
	"What?" Scully asked puzzled.
	"You see, for some reason my mouth went suddenly dry 
...", he said getting up from the bed. He saw her lips widening, her 
face breaking into a beautiful smile. Showing teeth and everything.
	'Oh, God', he thought. He got the 'with-teeth' smile! Oh, 
Lord, he must have said something right, he knew. He crossed the 
room to stand before her and without giving it a second thought he 
put his arms around his waist and pulled her to him. He could 
always blame it on the dress if he had to, he thought. Or on his 
mood. Or on both. Or on neither of them. Just that he longed to do 
this. And the fact remained that Scully did nothing to prevent it all 
from happening, which was all that was important to him.
	"It's a beautiful dress", he said softly and completely 
serious. "You look stunning."
	Scully looked down at the dress and ran her hand over the 
neckline of the garment.
	"You don't think the neckline's too ... well ... too low, do 
you? I mean, it didn't really look like this when I bought it ..."
	He shook his head. "It's fine", he said. Actually it was more 
than fine to him, but he kept that to himself.
	"I guess I can take that as a 'yes' to whether or not I should 
wear this dress then", she said with a smile and gently loosened 
herself from the embrace.
	"Any chances you're gonna need my advice on other 
dresses you have?" he said with a hopeful smile. She shook her 
head.
	"No, I think the choice has been made, don't you think?" 
she said "Though maybe not necessarily by me ..." Then she 
disappeared into the other room to change clothes.
	She had hardly finished dressing when she heard Mulder 
knock on the door.
	"Scully, your mom just called that Charlie and his family 
have arrived. Are you ready?"
	"In a sec. I'll be right out!" she called back. She had 
changed into one of her pant-suits and she quickly stepped into her 
pumps. Then she got to the room where Mulder was waiting.
	"They had a baby last month", she told Mulder, "and 
they're bringing the baby with them. I'm so happy for them."
	"Boy or girl?" Mulder asked.
	"A girl. She's so sweet", Scully answered as she ran down 
the stairs with Mulder following her. "Her name is Linda and she's 
beautiful, Charlie told me."
	"A true Scully woman, I can tell already", Mulder said with 
a smile and Scully nodded. Then she saw Charlie and with a happy 
yell she threw herself in his arms.
	"Hey, Starbuck, everything alright?" Charlie greeted his 
sister, hugging her the way only a brother could. Scully nodded and 
then turned towards Mulder, who stood watching the scene with a 
smile. One day he was going to make Scully laugh like that, too, he 
promised himself.
	"Charlie, I don't think you've met my partner Fox Mulder. 
Mulder, this is Charles Scully and this is his wife Eileen. Eileen, 
Fox Mulder."
	"Pleased to meet you", Mulder said, shaking hands with 
Charlie and Eileen.
	"I hear Dana calls you by your last name. Would you like 
us to do the same or shall we call you Fox?" Charlie asked.
	"Mulder's fine", he answered. He thought he was going to 
like these people.
	Meanwhile Scully had turned around and was looking at the 
baby, her eyes sparkling.
	"She's so cute", she said.
	"Would you like to hold her, Dana?" Eileen asked, getting 
Linda out of the cradle and into Scully's arms. The baby uttered 
some faint sounds of protest at being disturbed like this, but she 
quickly calmed down, lying contently and quietly in Scully's arms. 
Scully was delighted.
	"She's lovely", she whispered, gently smoothing the baby's 
soft hair. Then she looked at Mulder who had moved to her side and 
who was taking an unexpected pleasure in the sight of his partner 
cradling the baby. He found he was genuinely moved by the lights 
in Scully's eyes as she looked down at the little child in her arms. It 
was a side of his partner he rarely had the privilege to see, but when 
it happened it was without exception a moment to treasure. He 
moved to stand behind her and circled her waist with his arms, 
looking over her shoulder at the baby. It was so right to stand here 
and hold and see her like this. He just knew he could stand here 
with her like this forever ... He extended his hand and softly 
touched the baby's cheeks. He was amazed by the softness of her 
skin. Then his hand accidently came into contact with Scully's hand 
and she took it, gently squeezing it. It was a short, almost 
imperceptible movement and those who didn't know about it would 
probably never see it, but he knew its meaning: his partner was 
happy, truly happy, and she wanted to share it with him.
	"Don't they look just great together?" they heard from 
behind them and they looked around. And saw their mothers 
standing in the doorway, their expressions clear as glass. Scully felt 
she was blushing deeply and Mulder sheepishly moved away from 
her.
	"Mom, stop that", she said embarrassed.
	"Stop what, dear?" Margaret asked innocently.
	"Mom, I know what you're thinking, but it's not the case! 
We're just good friends! Aren't we, Mulder?" she said, looking at 
Mulder, who had adopted his most innocent expression.
	"Are we?" he asked with a mischievous look.
	"Mulder! Say something to make them change their 
minds!" Scully pleaded.
	"I know nothing", he said and Scully started to entertain 
homicidal thoughts.
	"Is that so, Fox?" Teena said, stepping up to him. 
"Margaret has told me quite a bit about you two, you know ..."
	"You have, Mrs Scully?" he said, looking at Scully's 
mother. He started to feel pretty uneasy and from Scully's look at 
him he could tell she felt all but comfortable either. Luckily the 
baby chose this moment to express her feelings of hunger and 
started to cry. Eileen took the baby and soothed its cries. Scully let 
out a little sigh of relief now that she saw their mothers' attention 
had changed from Mulder and her to the baby. And decided that this 
was the perfect moment to disappear into the living room.

	MULDER LOOKED AT HIS watch. Almost midnight. The 
Scullys and families and his mother and he had spent the remainder 
of the morning talking about various subjects and in the afternoon 
they had all gone for a walk. After dinner Margaret had shown him 
and his mother pictures from Scully's childhood, much to the 
distress of the woman involved. He had really enjoyed her little 
protests as her childhood had been laid out before them. That was 
until his own childhood pictures came under the attention of the 
critical Scully clan. Dana Scully's revenge, he knew, judging from 
the sadistic pleasure she took in commenting on the less flattering 
photos of him.
	But now everyone had gone upstairs. Everyone except he 
and Scully, who was sitting next to him on the couch, her head 
resting on his shoulder. Her shoes were under the couch and she 
rested her feet next to his own on the coffeetable before them. There 
was a film on the television, but they weren't really watching. 
Personally he preferred watching her.
	With a small sigh he shifted his position a little, leaning 
closer to her. He put his arm around her shoulder and rested his 
head on top of hers. The silence between them was precious, only 
disturbed by the muted sounds of the television.
	"I really enjoyed watching you holding that baby, Scully", 
he said after a while.
	He felt her nod. "It was great. It's such a wonderful notion, 
such a wonderful feeling", she answered.
	"You know, it really made me think."
	"Think, Mulder?" she asked, looking at him.
	He smiled and nodded. "It reminded me of something I tend 
to forget sometimes."
	"What's that?"
	"That you're a woman", he answered.
	She looked at him in wonder. "You forget I'm a woman, 
Mulder?"
	"No, not that", he said, "just that ... well, you know, when 
we're out in the field, on a case, you're really my equal and not ... 
you know ... not ... I don't know ..."
	Scully smiled. "Like you see in movies or something? The 
'damsel in distress'?"
	"Yes", Mulder answered. "Most of the time in movies, it 
seems like the woman's just meant to be a pretty accessory for the 
man, a person who needs to be saved from evil all the time, who's 
not able to look out for herself. A person who depends on the man 
for her own safety instead of vice versa like in our relationship."
	"We do make an extraordinary couple, that's true", Scully 
admitted.
	"We certainly do", Mulder said with a smile. "For instance: 
you, the woman, has to get me, the man, out of the trouble I manage 
to get myself into all the time."
	"Not very traditional", Scully answered smiling.
	"Example number two: you, the woman, are the scientist, 
the sceptical one, the pragmatic person in our relationship, whilst I, 
the man, am much more open to instincts, hunches, extremer 
possibilities and things like that, isn't that right?"
	"It sure is", Scully answered.
	"Ain't very traditional either, huh?"
	Scully shook her head and leaned closer to him. She felt 
very safe, very happy sitting here with him like this. It was great to 
have a friend with whom she could share feelings like this. It made 
her forget about the nightmares that had bothered her for the past 
months now. It just didn't seem that important anymore now ...
	"So, when I said I sometimes forget you're a woman, I 
really meant that, because you're different from the traditional 
image of women in this part of the world, I ... you know, I like the 
way you stand your ground against those fools who dare to doubt 
your qualities as an agent, based only on the fact that you're a pretty 
woman, but well ..." He looked at Scully, not really sure how to 
proceed. She smiled back and he continued. " ... well, when I saw 
you holding that little baby, I was reminded of that other side of 
you. The side of you that's often hidden when we're on a case; the 
soft, caring, loving side of you ... the side you sometimes show to 
me, for instance when I wake up in hospital after I've gotten myself 
into ICU for the umpteenth time ...", he paused for a moment. "The 
side of you I'm glad you still have after all we've seen and 
experienced. And it often amazes me that you haven't cracked up, 
or left me before you would crack up. And it's a good thing you're 
still here, because I really need you here. You know, to prevent me 
from cracking up and stuff ..."
	"It was a wonderful feeling to hold the baby, Mulder. It 
made me feel so happy, so alive. It's such a small creature, but so 
complete, it's such a miracle. And then I marvel at the genius of 
Nature that she can make, create these wonders. Just imagine the 
complexity of it all, it's amazing. And, you know, much as 
feminists are going to hate my next words, I found there is a certain 
amount of truth in the old-fashioned notion that women are meant 
to have children and care for them. When I had that little baby in 
my arms I felt a feeling I seldom have, a natural instinct to look 
after it, to keep it safe, to protect it from all evil in this world, to 
love and cherish it. It was wonderful ..."
	Mulder nodded. "When I saw you with that child, I could 
almost see you as a mother, holding your own baby, looking down 
at it with love. It was so beautifully natural."
	Scully smiled. She was slightly amazed by his words, most 
men were rather reluctant to bring up the issue of children. Not 
Mulder though ...
	"I'd love to have children sometime in my life", she said. "I 
know the consequences of my abduction, but I just cannot give up 
hope. Although I realise that if I really do want them I shouldn't 
wait too long. I'm running out of time, I guess ...", she concluded 
with a smile as she looked at Mulder. He smiled back, pulling her 
really close.
	"I hope you'll have children, Scully. I really do."
	They were silent for a while, enjoying each other's 
company.
	"Thank you", Scully said.
	"For what?" Mulder asked.
	"For always being there for me when I need you, even 
when I say that I don't need you. For caring about me, for being my 
best friend, a friend I can really trust, even now that things aren't 
always going the way we want it."
	"You're very welcome", he answered. "Though in fact I 
think I ought to thank you."
	"For what?"
	"For saving my ass, my sanity, and my life, making it 
worthwhile, letting me know that whatever is going to happen, I'll 
always know you next to me as my cornerstone. For being the one 
person with whom I can face the world, the person whom I trust 
with my whole life and future without a single doubt or hesitation 
because I know she'll never treat it lightly, instead guards it like 
they're her own. And a person who answers to my questions of why 
she does it with a gentle smile, a beautiful look, and the words 
"because you're my friend, Mulder", and who has probably never 
realised just what these simple words mean to me." He looked at 
her and paused momentarily. Then he spoke again, his voice soft. 
"And who makes me realise time and time again that she's the one I 
love."
	She looked at him. "L-love, Mulder?"
	He nodded and his voice was gentle when he spoke. "Yes, 
Scully, you're the one I love. You're the one person I'll never be 
able to live without, even though now ... I'm really scared that soon 
..." His voice died away and Scully knew why. Her cancer. His next 
words revealed he thought of the very same thing.
	"You're not going to die, are you, Scully?"
	"I ...", she began, but then the scientist inside her reminded 
her of the cool facts, the hard, cold figures about her future. But she 
didn't want to think of them right now. She didn't want to think 
about the fact that this might well be her last Christmas. It wasn't. 
She was going to live. She was going to live, she knew it. She 
wanted to be here, with Mulder, Ahab would never allow her to 
leave already, she knew that for certain.
	"I'm not. Not if you and I have a say in the matter."
	"You're so brave, Scully. I'm just constantly amazed by 
you, I'm so very proud of you."
	"Proud", Scully said softly, her thoughts inevitably drifting 
to her father. She had joined the FBI over her father's reservations. 
Was he proud of her?
	"Do you think my father would be proud of me, Mulder?"
	"I think he's very proud and I think he'd tell you so if he 
were still alive."	
	"I wish you had met my father. I'm still sorry you never got 
to meet him, he was such a wonderful man."
	"I did meet him, Scully", Mulder said.
	"You did? But how? He died before you ever came to this 
house."
	"That's true, but I met him later ... after his death", Mulder 
said. "I think it happened on that case in New-Mexico, with the 
digital tape. Yes, it was that case. I got trapped inside that box-car 
in the desert and almost died. During the Blessing Way-ceremony 
the Navajo Indians performed to get me back to life after the 
inferno, I met several people in my dreams. People who spoke to 
me, told me things. The first people I met were Deep Throat and my 
father, who had been killed only days before. But I was also visited 
by your father. I didn't recognise him at first, because I had never 
met him, but I recognised the uniform. And I recognised you. When 
he spoke I could hear you, speaking to me in clear words, both 
certain and heart-felt. And he thanked me."
	"He thanked you?" Scully said softly.
	"Yes", Mulder answered. "He thanked me for looking after 
his baby girl. I didn't understand and I told him so. I told him that I 
was the one who always got you into trouble, but he said that this 
wasn't the kind of looking after he meant. He told me he wanted to 
thank me for being a person his daughter could and did like. For 
being there for her. It touched me deeply. And I guess that was the 
thing that ultimately made me want to return. Not the inspirational 
words from Deep Throat, not the words of regret from my father, 
just the simple words of thanks from your father, words from a man 
I like, because you like him."
	Scully nodded and took his hand in hers. Then she felt his 
other hand on her head, his fingers softly running over it. But very 
quickly she discovered he wasn't just weaving his fingers through 
her hair, he seemed to be drawing or writing something.
	"What are you doing, Mulder?"
	"Exorcising the devil", he answered into her hair. "Writing 
our initials on your head."
	She felt tears in her eyes. "Together we can beat this thing, 
can't we, Mulder?"
	"I believe we can", he answered, gently turning her face 
towards him. Then he cradled her face in his hands and looked her 
in the eyes. "We're gonna beat it, Scully. There's nothing in the 
world that's going to take you away from me again, nothing. I 
won't have it, I won't allow it."
	"I can live, Mulder, I will live. I'm not going to die, I refuse 
to die! I ...". Then she suddenly went silent and looked at him. And 
with a laugh she pulled him to her in a tight hug. 	"Kiss me, 
Mulder", she said with a warm smile. "I want to show the people 
that they can walk to hell for all I care, but that I've got you and 
together we're gonna make it, whether that cure you got me worked 
or not!"
	His chuckle was her answer and she saw him smiling 
broadly as he lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her.
	"You're a miracle, Scully. My own daily miracle", he said, 
his smile turning breath-takingly serious now. "I love you."
	"I love you, too", she whispered and gently brushed away 
the hair on his fore-head. Then he bent his head towards her and she 
met him in a sweet, tender kiss. His lips were warm and soft, it was 
a beautiful feeling.
	Scully wished they could remain sitting here like this 
forever. The feeling of Mulder kissing her was like coming home 
after a long trip. So right. She just knew it wasn't supposed to end. 
Ever. Why on earth had they waited so long for this?
	"Why the hell have we waited so long before we did this, 
Mulder?" she murmured against his lips.
	"Mm, because we're a couple of stubborn fools, maybe, 
who refused to see the real truth?" Mulder said with a grin.
	Scully smiled. "Mm-mm, must be it. Glad we've changed 
our minds, though ..."
	And as she felt him chuckle against her mouth, she snaked 
her arms around his neck and back, and pulled him closer to her, 
kissing him deeply.
	Mulder was in heaven. He never knew he could feel so 
perfect and real, so intensely alive. But Scully showed him he still 
had the ability to feel this way. That all the misery and loneliness he 
had had to endure in his life hadn't been able to wipe out this 
fundamentally human emotion. And he loved her desperately. 
Desperately ...
	He felt his heart weep bitter tears for her. And as the kiss 
eventually became gentler he felt tears stinging in his eyes, a lump 
blocking his throat. He didn't want her to be so ill, he wanted her to 
be healthy and carefree again, even though she pretended she was 
fine. Scully was always fine ... 'Deny everything', not even the 
Cancer Man could make this sentence sound so essentially ugly. 
And the realisation of that was the moment he had to break from the 
kiss or he felt he couldn't be held responsible for his actions any 
longer.
	With tears running down his face he gently separated them, 
lowering his eyes so that he didn't have to look at her, but he kept 
his hands on her cheeks as a kind of reassurance for himself that she 
was still with him.
	"I'm so sorry, Scully", he whispered as he slowly raised his 
eyes to look at her.
	"For what, Fox?"
	Oh God, he thought, she called him by his first name! She 
never did that unless she wanted to really get his attention for 
something. That and the divine feeling of her soft fingers on his 
cheeks, brushing away the tears, broke the dam and he crushed her 
to him, not wanting to miss contact with one single inch of her 
warm body.
	"For not being able to save you from all this. For having 
failed you when they abducted you. For having failed you when you 
were returned. For not being able to find a definite cure for you. For 
..."
	She cut him off by placing a finger over his lips.
	"Shh, please don't blame yourself, Mulder, none of this is 
your fault. And I know you'd do so much to help me, but there are 
some things we simply don't have a say over, and this is one of 
those things."
	"I'd do anything and everything to help you, Scully."
	"Anything?"
	"Anything!"
	"Even give up on the X-Files?" she tried.
	"Yes", he answered without the slightest hesitation.
	Scully found she was genuinely moved by this. "But all 
your answers to where Samantha is are in the X-Files, Mulder. All 
the answers to the truth ... You'd give it up for me? Just for me?"
	"What use is the truth if it means you're dead, Scully? I 
don't want to find Samantha and not have you near me when it 
happens. And maybe, someday in the future, I'm going to regret 
what I'm about to say now, but I'd choose you over Samantha, if 
I'd have to make a choice."
	"Don't lie to me, Mulder, you know you don't mean that!"
	"And what if I do, Scully? What if I really do mean that I'd 
rather have you safe and sound next to me and never know what 
happened to Samantha, than having my sister back, but only a cold 
tomb-stone in a gloomy cemetery and a mind full of memories to 
remind me of you?"
	"You're fooling me, Mulder, and you know I hate that! You 
can't possibly abandon your quest for her, you'll never be able to 
stop searching for her."
	"I won't", he admitted with a sigh. He knew he wouldn't. 
No, this was wrong, if he had to, he would stop searching. He really 
would if it meant he got to keep Scully, but ... but could he really 
give up on his sister?
	"See?" Scully said, smiling gently. "I knew you wouldn't 
be able to give up on her. And I don't want you either. And before 
we start ruining our lives, our future, and most importantly, the day 
before Christmas ..." She saw Mulder smile warmly at her little 
joke. "...we don't even know if we do have to choose. Maybe in the 
end you can have both your sister and me."
	He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and closed his 
eyes. Oh Lord, if only he could ... He'd never want another thing in 
his life if he could have both Samantha and Scully. His sister and 
his best friend. Scully and Samantha, it couldn't be a coincidence 
that both their names started with an S, even though it was 
Samantha's first name and Scully's last name. That didn't matter. It 
was so and it would be so forever. Amen.
	He slowly woke up from his reverie and looked at Scully 
who was lying in his arms. And saw that she had her eyes closed. 
Asleep or ...?
	"Scully, are you asleep?" he whispered, not wishing to 
wake her up if she was.
	"Yes", she answered, betraying her attempts to look asleep 
with an amused chuckle.
	Mulder grinned. "You can't answer 'yes' to a question like 
that, sweetheart."
	"I know, I ..." Then she suddenly stopped and looked at 
him. "What exactly did you say?"
	He smiled. "I said: 'You can't answer 'yes' to a question 
like that, sweetheart'." And when he saw the confusion in her eyes, 
he decided to express his thoughts more clearly. He kissed her 
softly and said: "I meant that last word, you know."
	He watched her face starting to glow like a beautiful candle 
and for the second time in 24 hours he was granted the wide, sun-
shine smile from deep inside the woman sitting next to him. And 
involuntarily he felt his face break into a smile that at least matched 
hers.
	'There we are', he thought. 'Grinning like fools. Because 
we're in love. Dana Scully loves me and I love her and she knows it 
and I know it and we both know it and we're in love, we're in love 
and I love her, I love her, I love her and I'll never get enough of her 
in all my life, never, never, never and ... Oh my God ..." His 
thoughts suddenly came to a full stop as he felt her finger drawing a 
line over his brow and nose in a straight line over his lips to the 
collar of his shirt. He couldn't help shuddering at her gentle touch.
	"Oh, agent Mulder, just for the record ...", she said smiling.
	"Yes?"
	"I wasn't really sleeping, you know."
	"So what we you doing then?"
	Her wide smile turned into a much sweeter one and she said 
softly: "I was praying."
	"Praying, Scully?"
	"Mm-mm, I often pray. It helps me to clear my mind. It 
brings a very peaceful feeling."
	"Do you pray for certain people as well, Scully?"
	"Sometimes"
	"Also for me?"
	"Mostly"
	"You do?"
	"Yes"
	"Why?"
	"Because", she said, "I want to give you the same feelings 
of peace and rest I feel at such a moment."
	'Peace. What a wonderful word', he thought. 'She prays for 
me so I'll get a peaceful mind. She prays for me. She actually prays 
for me ...'
	"It works. I think it works ...", he answered softly. "How ... 
how long have you been praying for me?"
	"Since the day we met, Mulder. You were, and still are, 
someone who not only needs it, but also deserves it. You deserve 
some Divine assistance, in whatever way or form it comes, to help 
you." 
	"Thank you. I really appreciate it, Scully." He had never 
prayed himself, but he knew Scully believed in God, though her 
faith had become less over the years. But if it helped her to stay 
sane next to him, her God must be a generous God.
	"Well, I just knew you could do with a little help", she said. 
"though I'm afraid I'll have to admit that I didn't really think at first 
that a man who could look so positively hot in glasses really needed 
any help ..."
	"You like me wearing my glasses?"
	"Mm-mm, very much. You look irresistably sexy wearing 
them. It's a good thing you don't wear them very often, you know, 
you make me shake all over and I'd do anything for you at such a 
moment", she purred.
	"Really?" he asked incredulously. Really? Did she really 
like them that much?
	"Mm-mm. You look like my teacher of English Literature 
all the girls had a crush on in highschool and I start reliving all my 
school-girl fantasies ..."
	Midnight velvet. That was the one term that described the 
tone of her voice best of all alternatives. And how the hell had she 
gotten from the serious subject of praying to making him want to 
groan with desire so quickly? Wait a sec, this was Scully. Yes, 
Scully ... oh boy ...
	"You know, I'd start to pray at such moments, too ...", she 
continued, her voice slightly hoarse.
	Pray? Now Mulder found out that this woman could even 
combine religion and passion!
	"Pray, Scully?" he managed to choke out.
	"Yeah, I'd pray that you'd leave all your work alone for a 
moment and walk up to me and then slowly start kissing me and 
touching me and loving me ...", she whispered hoarsely, slowly 
running her hands over his body, but not proceeding any further. " 
... and then you'd make sweet, slow love to me, making me feel like 
the most beautiful, special woman in the universe because you'd 
know that just this tiny planet would never be enough for me ...", 
she concluded, finding that her hands had received a will of their 
own, gliding with a very arousing slowness over her lover's upper 
body, feeling him through his shirt, but again not ready to take it 
off. She wanted to take his shirt off, she wanted to rip all his clothes 
off his body, throw him backwards onto the couch and make wild, 
passionate love to him, but now wasn't the right moment. And she 
enjoyed this, too ...
	And then she stopped. Mulder let out a moan of protest, but 
she merely laughed.
	"Why did you stop, Scully?" he moaned.
	"Because", she answered with a devilish grin, "I don't think 
that's your gun in your pocket, agent Mulder!"
	He grinned and felt a little blush creeping up. God, he loved 
this woman!
	"Where are you going?" he asked as he felt and saw Scully 
rise to her feet.
	"Off to bed, Mulder. I think it's about time you and I get 
some sleep." Then she saw the lost-little-boy look on his face and 
instantly her heart melt like ice in the sun. "Or we could just stay 
here and try to sleep on the couch."
	Immediately the sad puppy-look disappeared and he held 
out his hands to her. She took them and he gently pulled her back 
onto the couch and into his arms. It was the most protected, safe 
feeling she had ever experienced, lying here with her head resting 
on his chest, feeling his body warmth and his strong arms around 
her, hearing the thudding of his heart, her senses getting filled with 
the warm male smell that belonged to Mulder and Mulder alone, 
almost tasting him on her tongue, and watching him watch her, 
knowing, just knowing that everything was alright. Everything 
would be alright as long as she stayed here with him. She knew it. 
And that was when she knew people really possessed that 
mysterious sixth sense. The sixth sense ... Mulder would have a 
field day with it ... Oh well, it could wait. The whole world could 
wait. Would have to wait, for she wasn't home to anybody right 
now. Not when she was lying contently and completely at rest in the 
arms of this man. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift 
away to sleep.
	But before she was that far she heard Mulder mutter: 
"Dammit"
	She frowned and looked up. "What's wrong?"
	"This was the third time this film came on and I still don't 
know who shot that Russian guy!"
	She smiled and with her eyes closed she nuzzled his chin. 
Then she repositioned herself in his embrace and murmured:
	"The manager's wife. Who else?"
	His answering chuckle was the last thing she heard before 
she entered the pleasant world of dreams. She knew she wasn't 
going to have any nightmares tonight. And neither was Mulder.
	'Sweet dreams, sweetheart', she thought with a smile.

	AND IN THIS POSITION their mothers found them a couple of 
hours later.
	The women didn't say anything, just exchanged knowing 
looks and smiles before quietly leaving the room for the kitchen to 
prepare breakfast. They had seen enough.

*~*~*
24 December

	SCULLY WOKE UP A few minutes after their mothers had left 
the room and for a moment she was a bit confused by the way she 
found herself in Mulder's arms. Then she remembered last night 
and with a contented smile wanted to snuggle back into his 
embrace. She felt a grin appearing on her face that didn't stop until 
she just knew she looked like a love-struck idiot.
	'No problem', she thought. 'That's what I am, right? 
Right!' A soft chuckle followed her thoughts.
	Then she lazily moved her head to look in the direction of 
the kitchen door. And her eyes shot open when she saw their 
mothers standing there watching them, obviously very content 
about the scene laid out before them.
	Scully felt a blush creep over her face, but then she 
remembered there was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and 
flashed the women a beaming smile. Then she beckoned her mother 
to come closer.
	"What is it, dear?" Margaret whispered.
	"Is it snowing, mom?" Scully asked with a hushed voice.
	"Not anymore", her mother answered. "But it snowed last 
night. Why?"
	"Oh, well ...", Scully began with a teasing look at her 
sleeping partner, " ... um, could you get me a handful of the stuff, 
please? We need to wake him up, don't you think?"
	"Dana!" Her mother was shocked. "You can't do that to 
him!"
	"Oh, I can and I will!" she said softly so as not to wake him 
up already.
	"Okay, just a minute", Margaret said, deep down rather 
curious about her daughter's plans. She knew her well enough to 
know that she wouldn't be cruel to him in an unfriendly mTarar.
	One minute later Margaret returned with a plastic bowl 
filled with snow. Teena followed her, curious to know just what the 
young woman in her son's arms was up to.
	"Thanks", Scully whispered as she took the bowl of snow. 
She placed it on the couch so that it didn't touch him and then 
scooped out a little of the fluffy white substance. And let it melt in 
her hands, the drops of ice-cold water falling on Mulder's face.
	The first drop caused only a slight frown, but by the time 
the fourth drop hit his nose he started to seriously protest.
	Scully's expression on her face was one of genuine 
pleasure.
	"Wake up, sleepy-head", she whispered, kissing the place 
where the latest drop had fallen.
	"Scully ...", he moaned " ... what are you doing? What are 
...". Another bit of snow hit his face. "Now what was that?"
	That was Scully's signal to grab a handful of snow and with 
the words "It snowed last night, Mulder!", she rubbed it all over his 
face.
	He started at the feeling of the coldness in his face and 
furiously attempted to get it off using both hands. Then he looked at 
Scully who was grinning broadly. He grinned as well.
	"Ah, well, I should've know you'd never tell me anything 
without providing decent evidence to back it up! But what's the 
theory behind it, agent Scully?"
	"I'm not sure I have a theory, agent Mulder. Not yet."
	Meanwhile Margaret and Teena had been listening with 
amused smiles at the easy flow of words between their children.
	"How about you two going upstairs, take a shower and 
change into something clean and dry?" Teena said.
	"Yes, mom", Mulder muttered.
	"And while you're upstairs, please wake up Bill and Charlie 
so they can help us with the preparations for tonight", Margaret 
added.
	"Yes, mom", Scully answered, imitating Mulder's line and 
intonation.
	"And then maybe you two could go to the store and get the 
groceries for tonight", Margaret said.
	"Otherwise we'll have frightfully little to eat ...", Teena 
concluded.
	Mulder and Scully looked at each other, clearly having the 
same thoughts.
	"Yes, mom", they answered in unison, a big smile on their 
faces. Their mothers could do little else than laugh as well.
	"Okay, Mrs Scully. Just prepare a list of all the things you'd 
like us to get and we'll be back in a sec. Won't we, Scully?" he 
added with a grin, lifting her up from the couch. Scully gave a 
surprised yelp at being lifted so unexpectedly, but wrapped her arms 
around his neck, laughing. Then Mulder carried her out of the room 
and up the stairs.

	"MULDER, THIS IS THE part where you're supposed to let go 
of me", Scully laughed, still in Mulder's arms. He was holding her 
over the bed.
	He smiled. She was so light, but so warm. She felt so 
amazingly good, he didn't want to let her go. But if she asked for it, 
she could have it the way she wanted it.
	"Yes, ma'am", he said, suddenly pulling away his arms so 
that she dropped onto the bed. She bounced two times and then lay 
back against the pillows, a huge smile lighting up her heart-shaped 
face.
	"That was great, Mulder ...", she said.
	"What was?"
	"Well, nobody ever put me on a bed that way. I think I 
liked it. At least it was very surprising."
	"Good, because I wanted to surprise you", he answered, 
sitting down on the bed. "After having been woken up the way I 
was this morning, I felt I was entitled to a little revenge on you."
	"Oh, surely it wasn't that bad, Mulder", Scully said with a 
smile. But when he didn't respond she became a little worried. 
"Hey, did I hurt you by doing that, Mulder? Do you feel hurt? 
Because if you do, I'm really sorry, I just wanted to tease you a 
little, I just ... I ... I really didn't mean to ... to make you feel bad ... I 
just wanted ... I ..."
	She saw he had walked towards the open window and was 
staring at the white world outside. She suddenly felt miserable. She 
had gone too far, she realised. She had done something that had 
made him really angry. And now he was turning his back on her, 
because she had disappointed him with her childish behaviour. She 
should've known better than to try something like that, now that he 
had finally opened his heart to her ... Oh God, she had destroyed 
their friendship, their entire future together this morning and it 
hadn't even started yet! It made her want to cry, to run up to him 
and hold him so tight that he'd never be able to leave her ...
	"Mulder", she said softly, wiping away a tear. She was glad 
he had his back towards her now, so he wouldn't see her cry. 
"Mulder, did I hurt you? Because, if I did, I want to make it good, I 
want to apologise for it, because I never ever wanted to hurt you in 
my life ..." Her voice had become almost inaudible.
	"Scully ...", she heard him say with a big sigh and her 
courage, or what was left of it, fell to the floor. "When I got woken 
up this morning ... in a rather harsh way, I must say, I was ... I was 
feeling kind of hurt, kind of angry and ...". He paused.
	"And what, Mulder?"
	" ... and I knew I had to do something, though I knew it 
would hurt you. But still ..."
	'Oh Jesus', she thought. 'What's he going to do? He can't 
leave me, he can't, he'll kill me by leaving, please don't let him 
leave me, please ...'
	"But still what, Mulder? What is it?"
	"But still, before anything else will be able to happen, 
before - if - you and I can proceed to a next stage, you'll have to go 
through this, Scully. I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to!"
	He still had his back towards her, his head slightly bowed, 
apparently looking at his hands.
	"Go through what, Mulder?" Scully whispered, mentally 
bracing herself for the inevitable blow. She could take it, she told 
herself. And then knew that it was a lie. She had never really felt his 
anger before. What was the effect going to be like? Was he going to 
slap her? Was he going to slowly kill her by merely looking at her 
in the iciest way possible? Was he going to walk out of the room 
and out of her life forever? Was he ...?
	"Go through the fact that you and I have to go through the 
same, I'm afraid. I fear I'll have to make you pay for what you did 
this morning", he said. He still hadn't turned around. "Scully, sit 
down on the bed now."
	She obeyed instantly. Then he slowly turned around with 
the words:
	"Snow is such a strange, miraculous substance. Sometimes 
it really makes you wonder why it has to be so ..." and this was the 
moment he swiftly turned to face her and threw something straight 
in her direction.
	It was a snow ball! And it hit a perfect bullseye in her face!
	" ... cold!" he concluded, walking towards the bed where 
Scully was wiping the snow off her face. She opened her eyes and 
saw Mulder sitting next to her with one of the widest grins she had 
ever seen from him. She could do nothing else but to smile as well. 
He had fooled her beyond what she'd thought possible.
	"Let's call it a draw, shall we?" he said, offering her his 
hand. She took it and immediately threw him down with her on top 
of him and kissed him passionately.
	"Of course", she answered after a while, looking down at 
him. "And your good right it was, too, Fox Mulder! You really 
fooled me, I believed every minute of it. I was so sure you were 
mad at me and going to tell me you were going to leave me and ... 
Were you mad at me this morning, Mulder?"
	"Nah, it was cold and it was unusual, but I think it was 
quite a ... startling ... surprise."
	Scully chuckled and rolled off of him. "Well, now that the 
first snow ball has been thrown, maybe it's good for you to know 
that today's the annual celebration of the Scully-family-day-before-
Christmas-snowball-fight! So you'd better get dressed in clothes 
that can stand such torture, for I expect you to take part in it!"
	"I will, Scully, I will", he said and left the room for his 
own.
	'And you'd better be prepared for tonnes of snow in the 
back of your neck, agent Mulder!' Scully thought whilst taking an 
old sweater and a pair of jeans and putting them on.

	MULDER TOOK A DEEP breath, filling his lungs with the 
clean, cold air of winter. He closed his eyes, letting the air cool him. 
He smiled. He liked this weather. He liked life. And doing this was 
so ... so ...
	Wrong! For at that moment he was hit by a particularly 
well-aimed snow ball. His eyes flew open, though he didn't have to 
guess who had thrown it. There was only one person he knew with 
such precision-shooting skills.
	"Agent Mulder", Scully said with an amused expression on 
her face. "You really should know better than to close your eyes 
whilst standing in the line of fire! After all these years, after all the 
training you received ... tsk, tsk, tsk!" She shook her head.
	Mulder grinned. Scully was standing a few metres away 
from him, her hands on her hips, her head slightly cocked as if in 
doubt about what he'd do next now that she'd hit him with that 
snow ball. By this time, and so far into the fight, her hair had 
become dripping wet, its usual light auburn colour having changed 
into dark copper.
	They looked at each other as if trying to guess the other's 
actions. Then at exactly the same moment they bent down, 
simultaneously grabbed a handful of snow, made it into a snow ball 
and ... waited.
	The tension between the two partners built, but in a very 
pleasant way. Then Scully seemed to crack first and with a swing 
she threw the snow ball. She missed and then Mulder gave her the 
most disturbing look she had ever been given by him. Oh-oh ...
	He slowly advanced towards her with the snow ball in his 
hand, ready to be thrown. His mouth held a sadistic grin. Scully 
walked backwards, becoming more nervous with each step she 
took. She looked at her brothers who were involved in a pretty 
impressive snow ball fight. Well, no help to be expected from them, 
she realised.
	"Mulder ...", she giggled nervously, knowing that he was 
deliberately forcing her to a corner of the garden. "Mulder, what are 
you doing?"
	"Giving you your right deserves, Scully. You get to throw a 
snow ball, I get to throw a snow ball. It's only fair and I'm a very 
equal-rights orientated guy, you know."
	"Yes, yes, I know", she said, more out of nervousness than 
because she wanted to say that.
	*Thud*
	There she was, with her back against the big oak tree in the 
far corner of the garden. Nowhere to go. And Mulder knew it.
	By this time the snow ball in Mulder's hand had started to 
melt considerably and the water soaked his gloves, freezing his 
fingers. But he didn't care about this little detail, for he was 
enjoying this immensely. His mind quickly went over all the 
possibilities of what he could do next. With the snow ball and with 
other ... things. He wanted to kiss her. Badly. They had kissed last 
night and a few hours ago and he could still feel the breath-taking 
feeling of her soft lips on his. And he was determined to feel that 
same fiery sensation again within the next half hour.
	"Gotcha", he said, his voice a bit hoarse.
	"Mm-mm", Scully answered. She wasn't too keen on 
uttering understandable syllables right now for fear she might give 
herself away.
	Mulder looked at the snow ball in his hand and then at her. 
"So, what do you think I ought to do, agent Scully?"
	"I ... I don't know ...", Scully mewed. She didn't dare to 
think about what he ought to do. Kiss her perhaps?
	"You don't know? Well, then maybe I should clarify a 
thing or two for you ...", he answered and with a smile that looked 
almost surprised, he lifted the remainder of the snow ball to the 
bridge of her nose and very slowly, very gently he ran the chunk of 
frozen water over her nose, delighting in the little shivers that ran 
through her body.
	The snow had more or less melted by the time he arrived at 
her mouth and with the last tiny bit of ice he traced her full lips, 
wishing it was his tongue running over them instead of letting the 
ice have the privilege. But he could wait. When it came to Scully he 
was both greedy and patient, though it sometimes rather surprised 
him.
	He saw the pink tip of her tongue licking her lips, most 
likely just to remove the cold water, but it was such an astoundingly 
sensual gesture that it took him about all his control to keep himself 
from crushing her to him and slanting his mouth over her way too 
sexy lips and devour her alive. No, he could control himself, he 
knew. He made sure he could. With Scully he believed in forever 
and at times like these he could show the truth of these words.
	Which didn't mean that he didn't want to kiss her. He 
wanted to kiss her and he was going to, there was absolutely no 
doubt about that. They both wanted it way too much ...
	He took his sodden gloves off and carelessly threw them on 
the ground. Then he took Scully's right hand and finger by finger 
removed her glove. He let it drop on the ground. Then he took her 
left hand and proceeded likewise, constantly keeping her eyes 
captured with his own gaze. When her left hand was also bared, he 
took her hands in his own, letting them rest in his palms, his thumbs 
gently rubbing the soft flesh of the back of her hands. He saw she 
was looking at their hands, watching him softly caress her own. Her 
breathing was becoming a little shallower, a little faster as if this 
simple gesture had some kind of arousing effect on her already.
	In some way he managed to make her look at him again and 
the love he saw reflected in those blue eyes took his breath away for 
a moment. Then he made her arms circle his waist, covering her 
hands with his own to keep them warm.
	As a result Scully found herself pressed against her 
partner's body, their faces mere inches apart. It was a very ... well ... 
disturbingly wonderful feeling. She sighed lightly. Then, after a 
quick look at him, she let her eyes close shut, just before she felt 
Mulder's lips on hers, kissing her very softly.
	It was almost more than she could bear. The feeling was so 
wonderful, it couldn't possibly be from this earth. It was heavenly, 
or, with regard to the man who was kissing her like this, 
extraterrestrial ... She felt his tongue trace her lips and she opened 
herself to him, gladly inviting him in. And as she felt tongue suckle 
on hers, she wanted nothing more than to let herself go completely, 
give herself over to emotions she had never allowed in afraid that 
she would lose control, lose herself in him and never find the way 
back. But now she didn't want to go back anymore, she only 
wanted to go forward. With him, Fox William Mulder. Only him, 
nobody else. The only person in the world who understood her, who 
knew her in ways she barely even knew herself. She opened her 
heart, her soul, her whole being to him, to take control over it and 
steer her towards heaven. She trusted him to guide her to heaven.
	Or maybe she was already there. Maybe they had both just 
died, right when their lips touched. Quite possibly so, she thought. 
After all, they didn't seem to need those common-place things like 
oxygen anymore ... Who'd want to breathe simple air when ones 
lungs, indeed ones whole body was getting filled with Fox Mulder?
	Okay, now she knew for certain: she was dead. And so was 
the man who was kissing her so incredibly erotically. They had died 
and gone to heaven. But why were their fingers just freezing and ... 
did it really snow in heaven? Um, probably not ...
	So, she was still alive. And in heaven. Heaven on earth, 
paradise had just arrived. God bless him, he who could make this 
happen.
	And as the kiss ended very slowly, she knew that tomorrow 
she was going to give Mulder heaven. He had given it to her during 
the last few minutes, hours, days, she didn't know how much time 
had passed and she couldn't care less either. He had given her 
heaven, tomorrow she was going to make his most precious, most 
impossible wish come true.
	Their lips parted and a soft sob shot through her at the loss 
of this essential, intimate contact. She took his hands in hers and 
looked at him, seeing soft tears shining in his eyes. Yes, he 
deserved heaven. And she'd give it to him.
	"I love you", she whispered.
	He nodded, opening his mouth to say something, but no 
sound came out. She smiled. Then she placed her fingertip over his 
lips and said softly:
	"I know. Thank you"
	"For ... for what, Scully?" he managed to say.
	Her breath caught in her throat at these words. He sounded 
so insecure, as if he didn't realise what he'd just given her. This was 
the small boy again. The hurt little twelve-year-old who wanted to 
give so much love, but didn't expect any love in return anymore.
	This man had received far too little appreciation or love in 
his life to know what to do with it. The only feeling he was used to 
was guilt.
	Guilt. Always guilt. Nothing but guilt. His whole mind was 
screaming for love and respect, but it seemed he couldn't figure out 
how to handle such positive feelings. And now that she thanked him 
for his love, he became ... almost frightened.
	She weaved her fingers through his and held their 
interlocked hands up.
	"For loving me the way you do. For giving me a chance to 
learn about true love. For you", she said. "Thank you for being 
there for me as my partner, my best friend, my fond hope for the 
future. And ... thank you for giving me a chance to find out if you 
really answer the expectations of the female part of the Bureau 
staff", she added with a  grin.
	Mulder's expression was puzzled. "I ... I'm not sure I 
understand what you mean, Scully."
	"Hey, Mulder, you don't mean to tell me you thought you 
only had a reputation among the male staff, do you?"
	"Well, I don't really know much about reputations, I ..."
	"In that case, let me just tell you that the women in the 
Bureau are a lot more positive about you than the men ..."
	"Really? And just what does that mean?"
	Scully placed her hands on his hips and sensually licked her 
lips. "That means, 'sexy', that it is really no coincidence that all the 
women stare at you when you walk through the corridors of the J. 
Edgar Hoover building. And just imagine that they have to rely on 
little ol' me to tell them if you really live up to their expectations."
	"What expectations are those, Scully?"
	"Whether that full, sexy bottom lip really tastes as good as 
all the women think ..."
	He felt a blush appearing. He had never known he had been 
so much the point of attention among the female part of the staff. 
Well, most of the time his thoughts were with a case anyway. Or 
with Scully ...
	He had to clear his throat before he could speak again. 
"And does it?"
	"Ooo", Scully cooed, her eyes and voice practically 
dripping with desire. "It tastes much better than they could possibly 
have imagined."
	Dammit, even her voice could set him completely alight. 
This woman was a walking flame-thrower, one look from her was 
enough to set him on fire.
	Then his breath stopped in his throat for a moment as he felt 
her hands move lazily over his hips to his ass and heard Scully 
murmur:
	"Yep, and he's also got the greatest ass in the world, girls!"

	AFTER A FEW MINUTES they had headed back to the house, 
hand in hand, both longing for a mug of hot chocolate, coffee, tea, 
or anything else nice and hot.
	"Ah, at least it's warm in here", Scully said upon entering 
the house. She shook the snow off her clothes.
	"Dammit, Scully, we forgot the gloves", Mulder suddenly 
noticed.
	"You were the one who threw them on the ground, I'm not 
going out anymore. I think I can get used to the temperature in this 
house pretty well ..."
	"We'll go get them tomorrow", Mulder said as he took 
Scully's coat. Then they went into the living room where the rest of 
the company were engaged in a lively conversation.
	"Hello, dear", Margaret said with a smile. "Did you and 
Fox have a good time?"
	With a lot of effort Scully managed to keep the unwelcome 
blush from appearing on her face. "Yes, we had a great time 
together. Hadn't we, Mulder?"
	"What? Oh ... yes, yes, we had. It was fun", he answered, 
obviously not expecting to have to provide an answer.
	"Did you two have a good day, mom?" Scully asked her 
mother.
	"Yes, we had", Margaret answered. "Teena and I went to 
do some last-minute Christmas shopping and we talked a lot. It was 
quite a pleasant day, wouldn't you say so, Teena?"
	"Indeed it was, Margaret", she answered.
	"Did you tell Mrs Scully a lot of things about me, mom?" 
Mulder asked with a small smile.
	Scully saw the woman's mouth form a smile so identical to 
her son's that it took her breath away. Now she knew where this 
man had gotten his heartwarming smiles from.
	"Yes, I did tell her a few things, Fox. But it was all quite 
innocent. After all, I think we still have a lot of catching up to 
between the two of us first, before we start telling that to others. We 
still don't know a lot of things about each other."
	"That's true", Mulder answered softly. "I'd love to know 
more about you and dad and Samantha and myself and ..."
	Teena got up from her chair and crossed the room.
	"We will make things better, Fox. The time of denial and 
silence is behind us now. We've got nothing to hide anymore and I 
desperately want to make up for all those years we lost because I 
couldn't face the truth, reality, and preferred denial over 
acceptance."
	Mulder nodded, taking his mother's hands in his own. He 
bit his lip to keep his emotions under control, but it was hard ...
	"There's so much that has happened and I never told you 
...", he said softly.
	"I know", Teena said. "And I hope you will tell me some 
day ..."
	Mulder nodded.
	"We don't have to do it now, at this moment, Fox, but I 
realise the time has come to come clean once and for all, because 
these lies are destroying whatever little we have left and I don't 
want you to have to go through more than you already have."
	He nodded again, trying to blink the tears away.
	"And it's not going to be easy. I know it and I wouldn't 
want you to think differently, though I know you'd never assume it 
would be easy."
	Mulder shook his head and looked at his mother in a way he 
had never done before.
	"We'll find a way to figure it all out, won't we, Fox?" she 
said softly, smiling a little. Mulder nodded and with a smile he 
wrapped his arms around her neck.
	"I love you, mom, I want to make up for all the time we've 
lost. There's so much I've got to tell you ..."
	Teena softly stroked her son's back. She was touched to see 
that despite all the things he had had to endure from a very early 
age on, he had become such a handsome, strong man.
	"I'm so proud of you, Fox", she said and was surprised to 
hear him chuckle.
	"You wouldn't be if you'd know what stunts I've pulled 
over the years, mom!"
	Teena laughed and looked at him. "Tell me", she said with 
a smile.
	Mulder grinned and looked sideways at Scully. "Well, for 
one thing, imagine this: I get teamed up with the Bureau's sweetest, 
most beautiful sceptic and guess what: despite the fact that I know 
she has to spy on me, I fall in love with her ...!". He shrugged 
apologetically, but with a twinkle in his eyes as he looked at Scully. 
She had her eyebrows raised, but quickly pulled an innocent face 
when she saw her mother's delighted expression.
	"That's the worst thing you've done, Fox? Because in that 
case ..."
	"Eh, well, perhaps not the worst, but it's certainly the most 
important unexpected experience of the last years, isn't it, Scully?" 
he said, hugging his mother, but looking at Scully. She answered 
his question with a smile.
	"Oh dear, look at us", Teena laughed. "Not really typical 
Mulder behaviour, is it?"
	"No, it isn't", Mulder answered. "But I think I rather like 
it."
	"I do as well, Fox", she answered. "I do as well ..."
	They remained standing with their arms around each other 
for a little while after which Mulder gently extricated himself from 
the embrace.
	"I'm going to take a shower and change into something dry 
and clean", he said softly, looking at his mother. "I won't be long."
	"It's alright, Fox", she answered simply.
	Then Mulder turned around and said:
	"You coming with me, Scully?"

	"YOUR MOTHER'S REALLY SORRY, isn't she, Mulder?" 
Scully said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
	Mulder nodded. "Yes, I believe she is". He sighed. "But it's 
still so strange. After all these years, I mean, for more than fifteen 
years we didn't even talk to each other and for the rest of the years 
... well, it was always under a cloud of guilt and anger. We never 
really talked and ...". He shrugged helplessly.
	" ... and now you don't really know how to act", Scully 
finished his sentence.
	Mulder looked at her. "No, it's all a bit strange and well, 
it's going so quickly now and I ... it disturbs me a little."
	"I understand", Scully said softly and for a moment they 
were both lost in their own thoughts.
	"Would you like to shower first or shall I go now?" Mulder 
asked.
	"You can go first", Scully said. "After all, I've got less 
clothes to put on than you ..."
	Mulder grinned. "I suppose you're right", he answered. 
Then he took the towels and disappeared into the bathroom.

	DAMMIT! NOW SCULLY REMEMBERED why she hardly ever 
bought dresses like this one: the zippers got stuck all the time. Just 
like now.
	She had tried all the alternatives she could think of, but the 
zipper just wouldn't budge. It had gotten stuck and it remained 
stuck. She had an idea what was wrong, probably just a bit of the 
cloth had gotten under it, but whatever the reason was, she was in 
trouble now.
	So, what to do now? Her mother was out, she had told her 
so as she had been waiting for Mulder to come out of the bathroom, 
so she could take a shower. Margaret had taken Teena with her - 
amazing how fast these two women had become friends! - so 
Mulder's mother couldn't help her either. She was not going to let 
her brothers help her and she just didn't want her brothers' wives to 
come and help her, though she couldn't give a decent reason for 
that.
	So that left only one person who was available to help her: 
Mulder. The sheer thought of him helping her with the zipper of a 
rather sexy evening-dress was disturbing to the extreme, but then 
again, it wasn't like she had a whole lot of choice, now had she?
	"Okay, face the facts, Dana Scully", she told herself. "What 
the hell are you talking about when you say you don't want Mulder 
to help you? Because A: you do want him to help you. The thought 
of feeling his fingers on your bare back is positively arousing to 
you, isn't it? B: What is it you think you ought to be ashamed of by 
asking him such a favour? You two have just about kissed each 
other's brains out two times today already, you know you'd just 
love to have him near you again! And C: What are the alternatives? 
None. You've got no alternatives. He's the only one who can help 
you!"
	Alright, so the decision was made, she was going to let 
Mulder help her. But how was she going to get him to her room 
without making an utter fool of herself? Of course she could just 
go: "Mulder!" very loudly, but she was quite sure he'd come 
storming in right away, possibly thinking she was about to be 
abducted again. No, she wouldn't do that to him.
	Wait a sec, her phone! She could call him. Which was 
utterly ridiculous, considering the fact that Mulder was in the room 
next to her, just a few metres away ...
	Or she could go to his room and ask him to help her there. 
But how? With the zipper halfway her back the upper half of the 
dress didn't stay up, whilst the lower half made walking virtually 
impossible in this condition.
	She sighed. She knew she didn't have a choice, she was 
going to have to call him. And his reaction would have to depend 
on her intonation of his name. She just had to make sure to leave the 
panic out - which was easy for she was in no way panicking - and 
include some anger and a lot of frustration. No problem there either, 
she had plenty of frustration right now as well...
	"Mulder!"
	'Well, that didn't sound too bad', she thought.
	It didn't take long before she heard Mulder's footsteps and 
then he knocked.
	"Door's open!" she shouted. "And hurry up!"
	'And that didn't sound too good', she thought.
	Mulder softly pushed the door open and glanced inside. He 
couldn't suppress a smile.
	She was angry. She was furious. She was magnificent. He 
knew the difference between her anger directed at herself - like now 
- and the anger meant for others - like him - to fall victim to.
	"Ah, there you are. Well, Mulder, wanna live a personal 
fantasy?" she said, holding her dress up the best way she could.
	"What's the problem?" he asked.
	"Zipper's stuck. Help me!" she growled, partly out of 
frustration and anger, and partly because of something ... well ... a 
lot more pleasant. For the man who had come in just a minute ago 
looked absolutely gorgeous. She had never seen him wearing this 
suit, which she regretted right away. It fit him perfectly, maybe a bit 
too perfectly ...
	'Cut the crap, Dana Scully', her conscience scolded her. 
'Right now you need help, don't go drooling over your partner!'
	She was going to have to have a good word with her 
conscience ...
	Meanwhile Mulder had moved to stand behind her and was 
trying to get the zipper functional again. She felt two tugs and then 
the zipper was loose. He closed the dress, but when Scully wanted 
to turn around, she found she couldn't.
	"Don't turn", Mulder murmured, gently tracing the slopes 
of her shoulders with his fingers. He frowned. "You're so tense. 
What happened?"
	"Nothing"
	"Anything wrong?"
	"No"
	'Not when you're touching me the way you do', she 
thought.
	"Relax, Scully, you're way too tense. You sure everything's 
fine?"
	"Of course I'm fine!" she answered, but it came out too fast 
and too angrily.
	"No, you're not", he answered calmly. "What's the matter, 
Scully? Is it something I did? Is there anything I can do?"
	She nodded, but didn't speak. She felt his hands softly 
massage her shoulders, making the tense muscles change into jelly 
under his skilful hands. This man was dangerous, she knew. 
Especially to her.
	"I'm glad I can do something for you, Dana. What is it?"
	"I ... I don't know ...", she moaned with her eyes closed, 
delighting in the series of shivers he inflicted.
	"Of course you do, Scully. You always know what's best 
for you", he said amused.
	"That's true ... I ...". Then he stopped and she moaned 
softly.
	"Don't stop, Mulder", she protested against this sudden loss 
of contact. "Mulder, please, conti- ...". Then she gasped mid-
sentence when she felt his lips on the same spot where his fingers 
had been just a second ago.
	He softly kissed the ivory skin under his lips, nibbling, 
licking, kissing his way up from her shoulder to her chin. Her skin 
trembled under his touch and her breathing became ragged.
	She felt her body race in an attempt to keep up with the 
sparks running through her nervous system. It failed, the sensation 
was far too good and too overwhelming for her body to understand 
and control it. She didn't understand it herself either, though 
understanding the logical, scientific part of it was definitely the last 
thing she wanted to occupy her mind with right now.
	He slowly turned her in his arms, never lifting his lips from 
her skin. And then he captured her lips with his own.
	By this time her longing, her desire for him had already 
accumulated to a record-level. She moaned in his mouth, curving 
her arms behind his head in an effort to press it even closer to her 
own. She wanted all of him, and she wanted it right now!
	"Scully ...", Mulder groaned with a frown when he felt her 
skilful doctor hands starting to quickly undress him. He knew what 
she wanted, he wanted just the same. He wanted this magnificent 
woman, feel her, feel all of her.
	But not now, not here. Not when the house was full of 
people. Not when their mothers could come walking in any moment 
to see what was taking them so long.
	This thought helped him to think relatively rationally again.
	"Not now, Scully", he whispered. He took her hands in his 
own and looked at her.
	Scully felt her breath choke in her throat. The look he gave 
her was so heartwarming, so gentle that all the wild, reckless desire 
of a moment ago shifted into a much calmer, but equally intense 
feeling of love. When she had heard him say "Not now, Scully", she 
had felt uncertain, insecure about his love for her for a very short 
moment. And she had felt a little angry, too. But in his eyes she 
could see that he loved her madly, the realisation making her feel 
dizzy.
	"We can't do it now, Scully. Not if we have to be so careful 
that nobody comes in", he said softly, pressing a kiss on her head. 
"It could never be perfect. And I want it to be perfect."
	He looked in her eyes. "You're not mad at me, are you?"
	She shook her head and cupped his jaw in her hand. "No, 
Mulder, I'm not mad at you. I'm very glad you had the sense to 
think about that, because, quite frankly, I didn't think about that. 
You bring this desire out in me, you know."
	He smiled broadly and gathered her to him. "Come here, 
Dana, let me hold you."
	He buried his face in her soft hair, smelling the clean 
freshness of her hair and her skin, the delicate fragrance of her 
perfume mixing beautifully with her own unique sweet scent.
	"I love you", he whispered with a blissful smile. It was 
great to be in love ...
	They remained in each other's arms for a few minutes after 
which Scully murmured:
	"I think we ought to go downstairs. They're probably 
waiting for us."
	Mulder nodded, still holding her tight. She was right, he 
knew, but he didn't want to end this. Then he found he didn't have 
to make the decision himself as she already loosened herself from 
the embrace.
	He looked at her and felt a feeling of shame rise as he saw 
the mess he had made of her hair.
	"Um, Scully, I'm afraid I messed up your hair ...", he said, 
delighting in her shriek of mock-panic and her rush towards the 
mirror. There she viewed the disaster area, picked up a brush and 
walked back to Mulder, ceremoniously handing it over to him.
	"You destroyed it, agent Mulder, now fix it!"
	He looked at the brush and then at her. "Are you sure about 
that?"
	"Nah, probably not, but who cares?" she answered with a 
shrug and a wicked look in her eyes. He chuckled and began to 
gently brush her hair, his left hand following the brush.
	It was amazing to feel it, to know that her intelligence, her 
wit, her good and her bad qualities, and everything that made her 
Dana Scully, was here under his hands. He placed his hands on her 
head and sweared he could almost feel it. It was astonishing. This 
whole woman was here under his hands. And she trusted him.
	But here under his hands wasn't just the good part. There 
was this devil inside her head as well, the demon that was slowly 
killing her, like a parasite that devoured its host bit by bit. The 
thought chilled him to the bone.
	Scully felt his hands tremble, then stop their movements. 
She frowned and turned around. And saw Mulder looking at her 
almost afraid, his expression peculiar and alarming.
	"Mulder? What's wrong?" she asked, worried at his 
expression.
	"I ... I want to ... but I can't ...", he stammered. Then he 
took her in his arms and pulled her tightly to him. "Please don't die, 
Scully", he whispered, his voice breaking. "I can't miss you, I can't 
live without you anymore. Please don't die ..."
	She hugged him forcefully. "Oh, sweetheart", she 
whispered. Now she understood his reaction: the brushing of her 
hair had brought his thoughts back to her cancer. The only threat to 
their future, to their happiness. "Don't be afraid, Mulder, I'm not 
going to leave you. Ever. I promised you last night and I'm not 
going to break with that promise."
	He managed a small smile. "You're such a beautiful 
woman, Dana."
	She chuckled. "With this hair and the lines of mascara 
under my eyes from crying? You're prejudiced, Fox Mulder!"
	"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am. Though I'm not really talking 
about your physical beauty right now ..."
	"Whoa, that's a very wrong thing to say to any girl, 
Mulder", Scully interrupted him with a grin, placing her palm 
against his chest.
	He chuckled. "Oh yeah, I forgot". Then he became serious 
again. "But what I wanted to say was that it's a fact that your real 
beauty is within you. You are a beautiful woman and I really can't 
blame Pendrell for having this tiny crush on you ... But I've been 
privileged to learn to know you better than most people will ever 
know you, to get to know your personality and everything ... It's 
something I'll probably never understand, especially not when I try 
to figure out what made me deserve this ... but I know I'll simply be 
very grateful to you for letting me know you, for letting me know 
the wonders of love and life when I thought they were just fairy-
tales. And for letting me know I have a future to look forward to. 
With you. Forever." He took her hand and pressed a light kiss on 
her fingers. "Thank you."
	Scully was deeply touched by his words and found herself 
speechless. So she decided to thank him in kind.
	"You're welcome", she said against his lips, just before she 
made the contact a fact. He'd be with her forever, he had told her so 
... And a good thing it was, too!
	It was far too soon to her liking when he spoke again.
	"Shall we go downstairs, Scully? I'm afraid we've let them 
wait far too long already."
	"Yes, I think they're probably preparing to go to Mass, 
now", she answered and gave him a quick kiss. "To be continued, 
agent Mulder!"

*~*~*
25 December

	CHRISTMAS DAY CAME, BUT Mulder didn't know it until he 
was robbed from the best night's sleep he had had in years. It all 
started with a woman's voice saying cheerfully:
	"Mulder, you'd better wake up, or we're gonna wake you 
up!"
	'Okay', he thought with a frown, keeping his eyes tightly 
shut, pretending to be sleeping. 'I know you're there, Scully. Now, 
go away!'
	"Do you think he's still asleep?" he heard a woman's voice 
in the background. There wasn't an answer right away and he felt 
Scully look at his face. He barely suppressed a smile. Then he felt a 
wave of cool air over his face, she was probably waving her hand in 
front of his eyes.
	"Nah, he's awake", Scully said. He wished he could see her 
face because she sounded really wicked.
	"How do you know, Dana? He looks asleep to me", another 
woman said.
	"Phah, when you've worked with that guy for over four 
years, you see such things right away", Scully answered.
	"Yep, he's awake alright." Dammit! That was his mother! 
Had Scully really gathered all the women of the party in this room? 
"But how to make him wake up for real?"
	'Forget it', he thought. 'Scully's the only one who can stay, 
the rest of you: go away!'
	"Well, we can use snow, of course", Scully said.
	"No, Dana, you used that yesterday. We need something 
better!" he heard Margaret say.
	"We can use water"
	"Pull the blankets away"
	"Push him out of the bed"
	"Let Dana kiss him. That'll wake him up!"
	Mulder shuddered a little. He thought he might just be able 
to live with that last idea ...
	"Yes, I'm sure he will", he heard Scully say, "but I'm not 
going to do that. He'll have to try that trick on me first!"
	Dammit! She wasn't going to kiss him!
	"What about a spider in his bed?" one of the women 
suggested. The immediate series of shrieks in response amused him, 
but he kept still, though it became harder by the minute.
	"No! No spiders. But what about bugs, you know, beetles 
or crickets or something ..?"
	"Ha, he'll probably make me eat those crickets!" Scully 
said. For a moment nobody said anything and then she muttered: "I 
already did that once and I'm not going to do that again!"
	"What, Dana? You ate crickets?" he heard her mother ask 
her.
	"Boy", Tara laughed, "you sure think this job worth a lot of 
things!"
	"Well, it was only one cricket, but it was one, yes ...", 
Scully answered, sounding a little embarrassed.
	"Hey, Dana, how about telling him he's about to be 
abducted by his own aliens?" a woman's voice he had come to 
recognise as Eileen's, said.
	Then he heard a particularly cruel chuckle, immediately 
followed by Scully's voice: "No, I've got a far better idea ...". He 
heard her hush the others, telling them to be absolutely silent. Then 
she spoke in a way and accent that made him crack:
	"Good morning, agent Mulder. Are you sure you wouldn't 
want to wake up for a three-pipe-problem your old friend Phoebe 
has for you? I've got a case I'm sure my old friend Fox Mulder just 
cannot resist!"
	That did it. If she was going to do it like that, he might as 
well just give up ...
	"Alright, alright, I give in! Yes, I was awake and no, you 
don't have to be so cruel!" he said with a frown. Then he opened his 
eyes and looked at the laughing faces of the women. He smiled.
	"Hi, girls"
	"Hi, sexy", Tara said and Scully was delighted to see him 
blush.
	"Tara!" Margaret said. "You're a married woman!"
	"And? As long as she's telling the truth ...", Scully said 
before Tara could answer. The women laughed.
	"We'll leave you two love-birds alone", Eileen said and 
beckoned the other women to leave the room. Soon the two agents 
were alone in the room and Scully climbed onto the bed to sit next 
to Mulder.
	"I didn't know you could do such a brilliant English accent, 
Scully!"
	"Comes with practice, I guess."
	"Practice?"
	"You weren't sleeping, were you?", Scully said, ignoring 
his question, because it would bring them on unwanted terrain.
	Mulder shook his head and grinned. "No, you woke me up 
when you told me to wake up or you were going to wake me up."
	"But you didn't say a thing! You made us waste our time! 
That's not very friendly, Fox Mulder!"
	"Well, I was under the impression that you already knew I 
was awake. And even though I couldn't open my eyes to look at 
you five, I believe you had quite a lot of fun thinking of ways to get 
me out of bed the cruellest way possible!"
	She grinned. "That's right, though I would never have 
allowed Phoebe to come near you, Mulder. I don't know about 
those spiders or bugs, or the snow and water, but Phoebe was 
definitely out of the question!"
	"You're not jealous, are you, Scully?"
	"No, I don't believe I have a reason to be jealous at anyone. 
Though ... can I ask you a question, Mulder?"
	"Yeah, sure, go ahead", he answered.
	"Did ... did you love Phoebe?" Scully asked, her expression 
quite serious now. Mulder looked at her for a short moment and 
then slowly nodded.
	"Yes, Scully, I loved her", he answered, not wanting to lie 
to her about this. "Does that come as a disappointment to you?"
	"No", she answered and he could see she was telling the 
truth. "I'm glad to know you loved her. At least you weren't feeling 
as lonesome, as utterly alone at the time as when I first met you. 
You know, when I first walked in the office, over four years ago 
now, I felt a little sorry for you. You tried to make everybody 
believe that you had chosen for this loneliness - even more 
emphasised by the fact that you were hidden down there in the 
basement - and that the mysterious Fox Mulder, with all his 
brilliance and weirdness, didn't need the company of less gifted 
mortals. But you failed with me. And I don't think you wanted me 
to see through that smoke-screen that worked so well with others, 
and I don't think I wanted it either, it's just that it happened that 
way. You know, at first I didn't even want to open myself to 
impressions that made me realise you weren't as bad as the others 
said. It would have been so much easier just to remain as sceptical 
as I was and make sure I got the X-Files closed down, because 
Blevins promised me a good job after I'd have done that. But I 
couldn't betray you like that, because I saw you weren't the nut-
case everybody took you for. Instead I discovered you were an 
agent with a specific mission and it was this mission that made you 
believe things, do things that weren't as conventional as the ones I, 
and everbody else, was used to. Things and ideas I found I could get 
used to very easily, though I think my naivety back then must have 
annoyed you sometimes ... But as partners we've been through so 
much together, finding that despite our different opinions the only 
one we could trust was the other, that eventually we'd have but two 
choices: A: we'd have to split up, have one of us transfer out of the 
X-Files, which would have been me then, as the X-Files were your 
department, because this closeness didn't work. Or B: we'd get 
closer than ever before, perhaps even fall in love. Which was the 
alternative we chose. Luckily ...", she concluded with a smile.
	"You really feel that way, Scully? You're not mad at me 
now that you know I really was in love with Phoebe?"
	"Of course not! You're entitled to love, it's your good right 
as a human being", she answered with a heart-felt smile. "Oh, and I 
thought you might like to know this: Phoebe got married last 
summer. I heard it from one of our colleagues who just happened to 
be an acquaintance of an acquaintance of her uncle etc, well, you 
know how it goes, and he told me she was getting married."
	"To that Marsden fellow we met in the Cecil L'ively case?"
	"Mulder, that guy was already married!"
	"Well, you never know", Mulder said with a shrug.
	"Well, I forgot the name of the vict- ... the lucky one ...". 
Mulder grinned and Scully continued with a smile " ... but it 
definitely wasn't him. Allegedly she's very happy with her 
husband."
	"I'm glad", Mulder said. "She was fire, but she was also a 
very good woman. I just hope her husband's strong. She's not an 
easy person to live with, believe me!"
	"I believe you", Scully laughed. "I met her once and I take 
your word for it!"
	"Scully, I know you're not jealous now, but when we had to 
work with her, about four years ago, were you jealous then?"
	"Well, yes, a bit", Scully answered, blushing slightly. "You 
know, I never thought of you as a potential lover then, I didn't think 
myself to be interested in you that way, but I found out that I was 
sort of jealous whenever a woman paid much attention to you. Like 
Phoebe, or Dr. Bambi in that cockroach-case, or Det. White back 
there in Comity. It sounds strange now, but I used to feel rather 
territorial then. Like 'Keep your hands off, he's mine!', which was 
nonsense of course, because you weren't mine at all."
	"Funny, I've never felt jealous because Pendrell has this 
little crush on you", Mulder said with a grin. Scully softly punched 
him in the ribs.
	"Pendrell's a sweet guy, Mulder. He's just a little too young 
and too tame for me, that's all. And I've already got someone. For 
the rest he's alright. And he's quite handsome."
	"Handsome, Scully?"
	"Yeah, I think so. He's got good looks and quite a fine 
body. I don't see the problem with him there."
	"You're kidding me!"
	"Are we jealous, agent Mulder?"
	"No, not at all, agent Scully."
	"Mm-mm, maybe we ought to take a second opinion on that 
..."
	"How about a first opinion on a kiss?" Mulder said hopeful.
	"Maybe later, Mulder, we're really late, we have to hurry 
up or we won't be in time to open our presents!"
	"Ah, Scully", Mulder protested. "You promised me that last 
night would be continued. They'll wait. And a little kiss never hurt 
anybody."
	Scully chuckled. "You're right." She was glad to see him 
smile. She bent closer to him, but just before they met, she placed 
her hands against his chest and pushed him down. And lying on top 
of him she said:
	"And, agent Mulder, don't let it be said that this agent 
would be satisfied with just a 'little kiss'!"

	"WELL, THAT SURE TOOK you two a lot of time!" Bill said 
when Mulder and Scully came down.
	"Eh, yes", Mulder answered, shooting Scully a quick look. 
"Dana had a little trouble with her dress."
	'Eh, yeah, zipper got stuck ...", Scully answered, not 
entirely satisfied with the lie, but glad that she didn't have to give 
the real reason.
	Bill looked at her in a very peculiar way, but she decided to 
just give him her coolest 'better-drop-it' FBI-look and consequently 
he looked away without any further comments.
	"Well, unless I'm very much mistaken I'd say it's time for 
the presents!" Margaret anounced, her words immediately causing 
excited shouts and laughs from the children in the room.
	"Shall we give the kids their presents first?" Charlie 
suggested. "I'm afraid they're not able to wait anyway ..."
	"Mm-mm, I think that's not such a bad idea", Margaret 
said. "Do you agree, children?"
	Knowing right away how to behave like good children, they 
kept quiet and answered in unison "Yes, grandma."
	"Alright then", Margaret said with a smile. "Go find your 
presents under the tree. But make sure that you don't ..." Her words 
were lost in the excited screams from the children who went into a 
near-savage attack on the gifts. She sighed and smiled. "Children 
will never change ..."
	For the next half hour the adults watched the children 
unwrap their presents, delighted in the happy faces and laughter 
from the kids as the got their presents one by one. Now and then 
one of them would run to his or her parents and show them the gift, 
but most of the time they were just too busy unwrapping.
	Finally the children had gotten all of their presents and the 
only gifts left under the Christmas tree were the ones for the adult 
part of the party. Without much effort the children were ushered 
into the adjoining room where they could play with their toys 
without being disturbed, but where their parents could keep an eye 
on them. Just in case, of course ...
	When she had assured that the children were quietly 
playing with their new toys, Margaret returned to her seat. "So, 
who'd like to start?" she asked, looking at the others.
	"We'll begin", Charlie said with a look at Eileen who 
nodded. He took a small parcel from under the tree and gave it to 
Scully. She pulled free from Mulder's arm around her shoulder and 
took the gift.
	"Thanks, Charlie", she said and looked at it from different 
angles.
	"It's not a piece of evidence, Scully", Mulder remarked 
with a grin and Scully, in a unexplainable childish impulse, stuck 
her tongue out to him, then  smiled. 	
	"Can I shake it?" she asked.
	"Sure, but it's not going to help you", Eileen said.
	Scully squeezed the gift carefully. "It's soft", she noticed 
before quickly tearing off the giftpaper. And started to laugh as she 
held the object in her hand. It was a white pluche whale.
	"Remember when we saw it in that shop a few months ago, 
Dana? You went shopping with us to buy things for the baby. You 
liked it right away, in fact you kept it with you for as long as we 
were in that shop, but you put it back on the shelf because you 
thought you were too old for it. Charlie and I both saw it so we 
asked the woman who was helping us to keep it back for us and the 
next day we went back to the shop and bought it for you for 
Christmas", Eileen said with a twinkle in her eyes. "Because you're 
never too old for something warm and soft."
	Scully shot Mulder a glance and said: "Oh, but I've already 
got something warm and soft ..." and smiled at Margaret and 
Teena's delighted looks.
	"Thank you", she said. "I'm really glad." Then she turned 
to Mulder who was sitting next to her. "Isn't it cute? It's so sweet 
..."
	Mulder laughed, a bit amazed that his partner, Special 
Agent Dana Scully, could be so delighted with a toy.
	"I'll get the next one", Scully said and got  up from the 
couch. She looked at the assortment of gifts and then picked one for 
her mother, a gift from Bill and Tara. From under the wrapping 
paper appeared a beautiful little box of fine English china. Teena, 
who was rather surprised to get a present, received a lovely crystal 
vase from Margaret.
	Then Mulder got up, took a gift and handed it to Scully. She 
weighed it, but couldn't figure out what it could be. She could, 
however, feel something shift inside, which made her even more 
curious, also because the gift wasn't exactly very large. She laughed 
as she took a closer look at the gift paper.
	"Where on earth did you find this kind of paper, Mulder?"
	"What kind of paper, Dana?" Tara asked as she got up to 
take a closer look at it. She too had to laugh. "Santa in a flying 
saucer? Well, Dana, now you know who gave you this present!"
	"So, where did you find it, Mulder?" Scully asked again.
	"I had it made for you", he answered. "But, come on, open 
your present!"
	Scully carefully lifted the cellotape from the paper, very 
careful not to tear the paper. Even the gift paper was a present to 
her, she couldn't believe how much effort he did for her ... Inside 
were two separate little boxes, also wrapped in the same peculiar 
paper. She looked at Mulder who gave her an encouraging nod, 
after which she took the present that was on top and opened it.
	"Oh, Mulder, it's lovely", she said as she held the present in 
her hands. It was a beautiful watch. She frowned a little as she 
thought how much this thing must have cost him.
	Mulder smiled and took the watch, fastening it around her 
wrist. "Well", he said. "I wanted to give you something that would 
really mean something to you. But what you want most is not in my 
power to give to you. I can't give you back those three months you 
lost, and I still haven't been able to find a definite cure for your 
cancer, though you know I've tried ..." He looked at her, then 
continued. "But when I saw this watch in a shop it struck me as 
something to ... as a way to symbolically give you time. Give you 
time back after those three months, give you time to come for the 
future. It's not a cure, I know that, but maybe I ... well, maybe I just 
wanted to buy you some extra time ... and the red gold of the watch 
made me think of you". He looked at her as she admired it. "Does 
that make any sense to you?"
	She looked at him and smiled a heavenly angel-smile. "You 
never make sense, Fox Mulder, and you know it! But it's a beautiful 
watch and I like it even better with the idea behind it. I've never 
seen a watch like this in my life."
	"You won't", Mulder said. "It's a one-of-a-kind. Just like 
you."
	'Don't start here, Mulder, not with everybody here in one 
room', Scully thought as his words triggered a series of delightful 
warm sparks inside her body. 
	"It's wonderful", she said as she let the light of the fire in 
the hearth  play with the soft glimmer of the gold.
	"There's another present", Mulder said and she quickly 
grabbed it and unwrapped it. What she held in her hand were two 
black metal name plates.
	"This one", Mulder said, meaning the flat one, "is for the 
door to the basement office."
	"'Special Agent Dana Scully MD'", Scully read. "Oh, 
Mulder, I never thought you'd give me such a thing ... It's 
wonderful, I don't know what to say, I ..."
	"Well, for years it's been our office, but until now only my 
name was on the door and I knew that wasn't right. It's not my 
office, it's our office and therefore it should have your name on it as 
well."
	"I've always known it was where I belonged, Mulder. It 
didn't have my name on the door, but I knew it anyway. And now I 
know that you too think I belong here. Thank you!"
	"There's another one", Mulder said. Scully looked at the 
present in her lap and picked it up. It was another name plate, 
almost identical to the one she had in her hand. It said 'Dana 
Scully', and it was slightly larger than the other and had a metal 
stand attached to the back.
	"This one's for on your desk", Mulder said.
	Scully frowned. "My desk, Mulder? But I don- ..." Then 
realisation dawned. "You got me a desk?" she said softly.
	Mulder nodded.
	"But where? There's no room, everything's so cramped in 
that office, you told me so yourself, I mean ... Where could you put 
it?"
	"There was room, Scully. And if there hadn't been room for 
it, I'd have made sure they'd torn down a wall to make room for it. 
Which fortunately wasn't necessary ..." He chuckled. "You never 
guess what I found as I cleared up some of the mess ..."
	"What?"
	"Your personal report on our very first case, you know, 
there in Oregon. I never knew you found me attractive even then ..."
	Scully blushed. "Thought I had got rid of it."
	"You had. It would never have been found if I hadn't 
unearthed it on this very special occasion ..."
	She ran her fingers over the name plates. "This is so sweet, 
Mulder. You got me a desk." She looked at him and smiled. Then 
she put her presents to one side and kissed him soundly on his 
cheek. "It's wonderful, Mulder, thank you very much."
	"You're perfectly welcome", Mulder said with a grin. "I'm 
just wondering why I waited so long before giving you this." He put 
his arm around her shoulder and drew her nearer. "So, who wants to 
go next?"
	More presents were given to each of the persons in the 
room. Sometimes the gift was useful, sometimes it couldn't have 
been more than a joke, but of course each present was very much 
appreciated.
	And then, as everyone thought the last present had been 
given, Scully got up from the couch and picked up a small parcel 
from under the tree. It was a little hidden behind it, but now she got 
it and handed it to Mulder.
	He took it and looked at her. "But you already gave me 
something, Scully", he said. "You're giving me another gift?"
	"That book was just a joke, Mulder", she said, meaning the 
book about UFO-sightings she had given him earlier that evening. 
"This is my real present for you."
	He carefully opened the gift, sensing the emotional 
importance to her. Inside the box he found two smaller parcels, a 
small square one and a very flat one. 
	"Which one do you want me to open first?" he asked.
	Scully felt touched by the fact that he seemed to know by 
instinct that he couldn't treat this carelessly and it made her feel 
even more proud of him.
	"This one", she said, pointing at the little square box. She 
moved to sit closer to him and looked over his shoulder as he took 
the present she had indicated. He flipped the paper open and took 
the contents from the wrapping. It was a jeweller's box, made of 
dark green velvet. He looked at her upon which she nodded her 
encouragement to open it.
	So he opened the box. And gasped as he saw what was 
there before him on the soft white satin. Her cross necklace. With 
trembling fingers he took the jewel from the little box and looked at 
Scully.
	"Scully, I ... I can't accept this ...", he said softly, extending 
his hand with the cross to her. " ... I can't ..."
	She gently folded his fingers over the necklace. "I want you 
to have it, Mulder. It'll help you believe in yourself and in me, and 
it will help you through a dark time that may be coming." She sat 
down on her knees on the couch, keeping his hand with the 
necklace in both her own hands and said so softly that only he could 
hear it: "Maybe very soon I won't be needing it anymore ... and it'll 
help you remember how much I loved you ..." She pressed a soft 
kiss on his fingers, then took the necklace and fastened it around his 
neck. She kept her hands there and looked in his bottomless hazel 
eyes, eyes in which she could drown, wanted to drown. Especially 
now. Tears clouded her vision but she couldn't turn her head away 
from him. 
	"Scully, no ...", Mulder whispered. He had forgotten the 
whole world around them, he only saw her, his world, his love and 
life. No one but her, she was the only person who really mattered to 
him.
	Then she wiped the tears from her eyes. "There's another 
present."
	He gulped and nodded. He slowly unwrapped it and took 
out a large white envelope. On it was his name, but Scully's home-
address, all in a handwriting he didn't recognise. It was a woman's 
handwriting though. He looked at Scully, puzzled by the mystery in 
front of him.
	"Open it and read it", Scully said, her calm voice masking 
the powerful emotions that ran through her. Thank God for the 
effective training at the Academy. She looked at Mrs Mulder and 
her mother who both nodded in reassurance. She inhaled deeply but 
silently as Mulder opened the envelope.
	He looked at its contents and drew out a letter and a few 
photographs. He took the pictures first and frowned as he looked at 
them. One of the pictures was a photo of a young family, man, 
woman, and two girls. The next photo was that of the woman with a 
dog, a Border Collie. The other photos were all of that unknown 
family as well.
	"Who are these people, Scully?" Mulder asked, though he 
did feel an uneasy feeling of familiarity with the woman. He 
dismissed his initial thought that it might be Samantha. No, it 
couldn't be her ... Could it?
	"Read the letter, Mulder", Scully said softly.
	And after a quick glance at Scully he started. The letter 
started "Dear Fox" and he began to read.
14 December  

Dear Fox,

First of all, you must forgive me for not having written to you 
earlier, or in any other way let you know of what has happened to 
me over the years. I heard from Dana how hard you have looked for 
me and I feel tremendously guilty for not having contacted you 
before.

How are you? I hope that when you read this letter you are having a 
good time. Dana told me that she wanted to give you a letter from 
me for Christmas as a present and that's why I have included some 
pictures from my family. I am married to Jonathan and we have two 
wonderful daughters, Sheila and Rebecca. The girls are seven and 
five years old respectively and they are absolutely fantastic and the 
best thing that's ever happened to me.

I guess Dana will tell you how she got into contact with me, 
because quite honestly I don't understand how she did it! We have 
become good friends, even before I learned that she was your 
partner in the FBI. I have to admit I was rather surprised to hear that 
my goofy brother had become an FBI agent, standing on the right 
side of the law! You never failed to surprise me!

Jonathan and I hope to hear from you soon and I would love to see 
you again. I hope you will believe me when I tell you I never forgot 
you, but they told me you were dead, so that's why I never searched 
for you. Or tried to contact you. I feel so guilty now. Please write or 
call us and meanwhile:
Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year!

We all wish you and Dana the very best of luck and be careful of 
such a good friend. They are hard to come by, you know. Take care, 
lots of love, and say 'hello' to mom from me,

Samantha and Jonathan (and the girls)

	Scully watched him as he read the letter, his face an open 
book. And when at last, after having read the letter what must have 
been more than five, six times he looked up and at her and could 
only whisper, "You found her, Scully?"
	She nodded.
	Once again he looked at the letter and then at the photos.
	"But how? When? And why didn't you tell me?"
	"It all went rather strangely", Scully said. "I came across 
the name of an Amanda MacPherson a few months ago when I went 
through some files that I had received from Mufon. It was a long 
list with names, addresses and other data from hundreds of women 
and with my connection to extensive data bases they thought I 
might be of some help to them to get some more details about some 
of those women on the list. These women had been selected from 
that long list, though Ms MacPherson wasn't one of them. But for 
some reason I couldn't forget that name, it just kept going through 
my head, until finally I realised I had to know more about this 
mysterious woman. So that's why I called her one day and we 
agreed to meet at her place. I went to visit her -- that was a few 
months ago --, intending to stay for just a couple of hours because 
we were both leading very busy lives, but in the end I was there the 
entire day. And I found out that this Amanda MacPherson was your 
sister, Mulder. She's Samantha.
	"But this was still only a hunch, I had no proof, no hard 
evidence with which I could prove undeniably that this was indeed 
Samantha Mulder who disappeared from her bed room twenty-five 
years ago but who was never found. So I went to do a little 
investigation of my own, I went through some more files, I 
contacted people from her past, you know, at college and so on, and 
I found out that, though she somehow didn't start to appear in the 
records until when she was already eight years old, this was really 
her. This was truly Samantha Ann Mulder.
	"I don't think you'll ever understand how I felt when I got 
the final, definite results of the DNA-tests they did for me, Mulder, 
I was so glad, I felt so ... so good! But at the same time I felt sad, 
because I couldn't tell you yet, it had to wait a bit longer, because at 
that time Samantha was still not entirely sure about what exactly 
she wanted to do now. Like she wrote in her letter, she had always 
believed you to be dead, and now that some previously unknown 
woman told her that you were still alive and had been searching for 
her for years, she felt confused and initially she even thought it 
would be best for both of you if you'd never meet her. But I 
managed to convince her that, even if she didn't want to meet you, 
she'd at least let you know she was still alive and very happy, or let 
me tell you. She agreed but couldn't tell me when she'd be ready to 
see you again. So I made her kinda promise to tell me before 
Christmas what her decision would be, it would give her another 
two months to think about it, get accustomed to the idea of having 
her brother back.
	"She kept her promise, Mulder, and she'd love to see you 
again", Scully concluded.
	"Samantha ...", Mulder only said, tracing the outlines of the 
woman's face, his sister's face, in much the same fashion as he had 
done so often with the picture he kept of her at eight years old. It 
was a gesture that made Scully's heart stop, it made her realise that 
Fox Mulder recognised the eight year old girl in the grown woman 
of whom he had a photo in his hand. He recognised and accepted 
his sister.
	Then he looked at Scully, his fingers still on the picture. 
"But you said her name was Amanda. Amanda MacPherson. Not 
Samantha Mulder."
	"That's right", Scully said. "Amanda's the name she had 
been given after she was returned and placed in a foster family. 
They were told she had been a foundling and received the family 
name of the man who had found her when she was only a day old. 
Amanda was supposed to be the name of that man's wife. That's 
how 'They' explained the name Amanda MacPherson. In reality 
these names were chosen deliberately, as she found out herself 
years later, because Amanda was a name that sounded familiar 
enough to the little girl she still was after her abduction, especially 
because she was quite touched by the tests run on her. The same 
went for MacPherson, it was a name with roughly the same sounds, 
but at the same time a completely different name. And with even 
the foster family ignorant about her true identity, 'They' thought 
she was of no threat to them.
	"The unexpected happened though. She turned out to be 
extremely intelligent, with a memory that couldn't be tampered 
with. So she in fact did remember her real identity. And that's when 
'They' started to tell her of your supposed death, because she'd 
never find out whether this was really true or not. Or so 'They' 
thought, because through a stroke of sheer luck she and I met. You 
know, first I meet you and then, about a year later, I get abducted by 
mistake and aliens and I come into contact with the Mufon women, 
who give me this list, one out of hundreds of lists, on which her 
name appears amongst hundreds of names, and somehow I feel the 
urge to find out more about this one woman about whom I know 
less than nothing, which doesn't make sense because I never had 
any connection with her whatsoever, I thought. And still I go and 
look for her. And I'm glad I bothered because the outcome was 
straight out of one of my wildest dreams.
	"Anyway, she's still officially known as Amanda and she's 
not going to change that. But you can call her Samantha."
	"When ... when did you receive this letter, Scully?"
	"The day before I left for the holidays. I recognised her 
handwriting so that's why it was still closed. It was a letter for you 
and I knew I wanted to give you this for Christmas. Remember how 
I told you last year I couldn't stick a bow on Samantha and place 
her under your Christmas tree even though it was all I really wanted 
to do ...?"
	"But now you did ...", Mulder said softly.
	"In a way, yes", Scully said with a smile. Then she became 
serious again. "I got to fulfil my greatest wish, Mulder, I've been 
privileged to be the one who could give you your sister back and 
I'm so grateful for being able to do that ..."
	She rose to her feet and drew him up with her. Then she 
took his hands in hers and looked in his eyes.
	"Go see her, Fox, go visit Samantha. She wants to see you 
very much, she loves you very much. She's your reward after all 
these years of searching."
	But to her surprise he shook his head.
	"No?" she asked.
	"No", he said as he pulled her closer to him. "Because, you 
know, you are my reward, Scully. Samantha may have been my 
goal, but you are my reward." And with these words he took her 
face in his hands and kissed her, not caring about the families 
looking at them.
	It was an emotional kiss, tasting of tears and pure love. 
Scully could taste the salt tears in his mouth. It mixed so well with 
his own taste which she had become so fond of.
	"I love you", he whispered against her lips and she nodded 
with a smile.
	"Same here, partner", she answered, an answer that made 
him smile as well. He hid her head against his chest and rested his 
head gently on top of hers, softly rubbing her back and then 
weaving his hand through her hair. 
	'Let me stand here with her', he thought. 'Let me keep her 
and I'll never want another thing in my life ...'
	He looked at his mother who was dabbing her eyes with a 
tissue. Then she leaned towards Margaret and whispered something 
to her upon which Margaret nodded. Then both women looked at 
their children who were still holding each other tightly.
	Mulder felt Scully sigh and he smiled. He lifted his head 
from hers and gave her a swift kiss, before making her sit down 
with him.
	The room was completely silent and it was starting to 
become very uncomfortable when Charlie and Bill suddenly burst 
out in a loud, mocking applause, the gesture immediately lifting the 
heavy atmosphere.
	Margaret rose and disappeared into the kitchen, reappearing 
after a few minutes with drinks for everyone.
	The remainder of the evening was spent in a relaxed mTarar 
and the events of that afternoon weren't mentioned again. All 
seemed to understand the emotional weight and that it shouldn't be 
disturbed.
	But Mulder remembered it clearly, every time he raised his 
hand to touch Scully's necklace and he treasured the feelings like 
gold. She had seldom opened herself to him the way she had in the 
last few days, he knew. But now he knew that contrary to other 
times he wouldn't have to keep those moments for long lonely 
nights ahead. For he knew he was in the splendid situation that for 
him there weren't going to be any more of those nights coming. He 
smiled at the comfortable, reassuring, dandy sound of that. No more 
lonely nights, he couldn't get over how incredibly wonderful that 
sounded to him. It wasn't like he wouldn't be alone at night 
anymore, but he wasn't going to be lonely, which he felt was a 
totally different idea. Being alone wasn't bad, it was the loneliness 
that still frightened him, even after all these years.
	And in a way he wasn't alone either, not when he 
remembered that Scully was there for him, always. Even at night 
when he was in his apartment. Not next to him, though maybe one 
day she might be ..., but with him, she was thinking about him. She 
was in love with him and even though they still didn't seem to be in 
a hurry to make their relationship more than what it already was, he 
knew she really loved him.
	A blessing. That's what it was, he knew, an honest-to-God 
blessing. All for him. And he had never felt better in his life.
	"Penny for your thoughts?" he suddenly heard Scully say to 
him. He snapped awake and smiled as he looked at her, leaning 
over him. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
	"They're not worth it, Scully", he answered.
	Scully made a face. "They always say that ..."
	"Where's everybody?" Mulder asked as he looked around 
the room. It was empty.
	"Our mothers are in the kitchen, they're going to clean up 
and then they're off to bed, just like all the others. And of course I 
can't speak for you, but whatever it is you're planning to do, I'm off 
as well. I'm pretty tired."
	"Mm, yeah, sounds like a good idea. I think I'd better go, 
too", he answered, accentuating his words with a loud yawn. He 
chuckled.
	They said good-night to their mothers and then he followed 
her up the stairs. Scully opened the door to her bed room, but before 
going inside she turned towards Mulder.
	"I ... eh ... I'd like to thank you for this Christmas, Mulder", 
she said with a smile. She saw him looking down at her, his 
expression gentle. "It's been the most wonderful Christmas of my 
life."
	"I'd like to thank you, too", Mulder said, taking her hands 
in his. "I almost can't believe what has happened during the last two 
days. I received so much, so much that I didn't think I'd ever get, 
and of which I knew for certain I never deserved it." His voice 
dropped to a much softer tone. "You know, when my mother called 
to ask me to come over for Christmas, I thought I had received the 
most wonderful Christmas present, especially now that we were 
invited by you and your mom to spend the holidays here. But in the 
end I find myself blessed with so much more; I've not only found 
my mother, but in a way I've also really found you, and Samantha 
... I'm such a fortunate man, Scully, I can't believe it myself, I 
daren't believe it! But I am and I know I have to thank you for all 
that."
	"Why, Mulder? I mean ... I ... I only did what everybody 
else would do ... I mean ...", Scully said a bit confused.
	But Mulder shook his head "No, Scully. You think that 
what you've done for me and my mother is natural. You think 
everybody would do a thing like that, but they wouldn't. Most 
people aren't like that, but it's something that you and your mother 
would do, though, because it's something that is natural to you. 
That's why I like your mother so very much. And that's why I love 
you more than any man will ever love you. I know that last part for 
certain."
	"You do?" Scully asked, feeling lightheaded with the idea.
	Mulder nodded. "And luckily I know you love me, too, 
which I have to say takes a whole load off my mind!"
	She smiled broadly. "Boy-oh-boy", she laughed and sighed. 
"I feel like ... I don't know ... I'm feeling really strange ..." Then 
she laughed again. She went to stand on tip-toes and kissed him 
fully on the lips.
	"You're absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to 
me", she smiled broadly. "How did I ever make it through all those 
years before I met you?"
	"I don't know, I only know that I didn't ...", he answered.
	"What do you mean, Mulder?"
	"That's my little secret", he said with a smile. "Go and 
sleep it over, and maybe tomorrow I'll tell you, okay?"
	"Okay", she said. "Good night, Mulder."
	"Happy dreams, Scully", Mulder replied, kissing her cheek 
swiftly before letting her go and leaving for his own room.

*~*~*
26 December

		"FOX?" MULDER HEARD THE voice of his mother 
close to him. He was sitting on the couch in the living room, 
reading a book. Sitting next to him was Scully, who was leaning her 
back partly against him, partly against the back of the couch. Her 
closeness was a familiar aspect of his life by now, a very heart-
warming, comfortable aspect of his life in fact.
	"What is it, mom?" he asked, looking up. Teena was 
standing before him, smiling.
	"I was wondering if you'd like to go for a little walk with 
me, you know, to talk a bit and so on ...", she said. She sounded a 
little unsure, he noticed, as if she wasn't sure whether she was soing 
the right thing by asking him this.
	Mulder placed the book on the coffee table and rose to his 
feet, causing a soft sound of protest from Scully who felt her 
support disappear. He smiled as he saw her struggle to sit up again.
	"Sure", he said. "Would you like Dana to come with us?"
	Teena shook her head. "No, just the two of us", she said. "If 
that's alright with you."
	"Of course, let me just get our coats and we'll be off, 
okay?" he said. He walked towards the closet and took out their 
coats. Then he walked back into the living room and helped his 
mother with her coat.
	"We won't be long", Teena said. Mulder merely nodded.

	"THE SKY'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T it?" Teena said as she and 
Mulder walked slowly through the night, the frozen snow crackling 
under their shoes. Mulder looked up at the clear sky and the 
countless stars that stood out dazzling white, yellow, and red 
against the ink-black night. Little needle-pricks in black velvet.
	"It is", he answered. "I've always liked stars very much, I 
always felt ... fascinated by them, they kind of intrigued me ... Made 
me wonder about the universe and what's out there ... things we 
don't know, maybe will never know ..."
	"Do you remember what you used to think about stars when 
you were just a little child, Fox?"
	He shook his head. "No, real five-pointed stars, maybe?" he 
laughed. "So what did I think stars were?"
	Teena smiled. "You thought that every night, when the sun 
had gone to sleep, God would take a big needle and with that needle 
he'd make little holes in the sky. And through those holes would 
shine the light of heaven."
	Mulder raised his eyebrows and laughed. He couldn't 
remember that. "Really?"
	"Mm-mm, you were quite convinced", Teena smiled.
	"I don't remember being that religious", he said as he 
rubbed his hands to keep them warm.
	His mother smiled. "I don't think that it had anything to do 
with conventional religion, Fox. I don't think your thoughts had 
anything to do with a conscious sense of religion at all. It was 
something out of the imagination of a child's, trying to explain the 
mysteries of the world that surrounded him while he was still too 
young to know the real reasons. And about the God-part, we've 
never been a religious family, unlike the Scullys, but you grew up 
in a Christian society, it was inevitable that you would pick things 
up. And come to think about it, it's not really such a strange idea, is 
it?"
	Mulder chuckled. So that's where his idea about needle-
punctures and black velvet came from. "No, it isn't", he said.
	They were silent for a few minutes, the silence only 
disturbed by the sound of the snow under their feet and the wind in 
the trees.
	"So", his mother said after a while, "what case are you and 
Dana on at the moment?"
	"At the moment, none", Mulder said. "We rounded up our 
latest case the day before we left the office for the holidays, though 
we still have loads and loads of paper work waiting for us to 
return." He chuckled. "I can't wait."
	Teena smiled as well.
	"So what was that case all about then?" she asked.
	"Oh, a number of people in some God-forsaken village in 
Wyoming lost their heads and went all crazy", he said with a shrug.
	"That's all?" Teena asked. "I thought you two usually had 
more unusual cases to keep yourself occupied ..."
	"You mean X-Files, mom?" he said. "Well, I have to admit 
that by the way I tell this it doesn't sound very strange, but the 
problem -- for these people that is -- is that they lost their heads 
prior to the insanity and in a very literal way. That's the weird part 
of it all. But finally we found clues and it all depends on a few lab 
tests still on their way to decide whether Scully's theories were 
right. She was convinced it was a hoax from the beginning and in 
the end I had to admit it looked awfully much like that, though it 
was a very elaborate hoax. And we think the suspect succeeded in 
his attempts, making the poor local people think evil spirits were at 
work."
	"So what exactly did happen then?"
	"Well, there were reports of people walking around with no 
heads. Only, nobody had ever actually seen those people after had 
reportedly been murdered, the victims only appeared on video-
tapes, taken in shops and banks on surveillance cameras, or 
sometimes by people filming their kids. They've also been seen on 
photos. We haven't really figured out all about it, but we found a 
few suspects and the local law officers were so relieved to finally 
have something, that they let us continue any way we'd see fit, as 
long as we'd find a solution. Very comfortable position it was, 
sometimes we meet a lot more opposition from the local sheriffs 
and their troops.
	"However, we're still looking for the one true answer, 
though I suspect we'll not be finding that any time soon."
	"That case sounds exciting." Teena said.
	Mulder chuckled. "Yeah, especially when you see Scully 
volunteer to have a video recording taken to prove one of her 
theories. Initially she asked a few local people to help her, but they 
were too afraid of what might happen that they refused without 
exception. So in the end she just did it herself. She took this piece 
of blue cloth and wrapped it around her head, leaving only a very 
small opening for her to look through. Then she made sure the 
background was in the same colour as the cloth and had the video 
taken. It's the priciple of the 'blue screen' they use in movies and 
television. But anyway, when we looked at the tape ... presto! Her 
head had disappeared!"
	"So, you found the answer", Teena said.
	"Well, we would have if there hadn't been that nasty 
element of there never being a blue screen on the tapes. It was a 
very good theory and it helped us a lot though, even though it 
wasn't correct. I was really impressed by the idea, I hadn't thought 
of that, though that happens more often ..."
	"What?"
	"That Scully thinks of the best theories. She always 
impresses me. It makes me wonder where I'd be without her." He 
laughed. "Out of a job for a start ..."
	"You like her very much, don't you, Fox?"
	He smiled as he looked at the snow on the pavement. He 
had his hands in his pockets and the collar of his coat protected his 
cheeks and ears from the stinging frost in the air.
	"Yeah, Scully's a hell of a woman. She's the most amazing, 
wonderful person I've ever met."
	"How long have you two been working together now?" she 
asked, looking at him.
	Mulder looked back and saw the pale light of the moon 
reflect in his mother's silver hair. Beautiful.
	"Ever since March 6th 1992", he answered, knowing with 
ultimate certainty that he was never going to forget this single most 
significant day of his life. "About five years now."
	Had it really been so long? Yes, five years . And still he 
remembered their first meeting like it had happened only yesterday.
	He chuckled at the memory. " 'Hi, I'm Dana Scully, I've 
been assigned to working with you'. I wonder if she had any idea at 
all how this simple sentence shook the entire world around me", he 
said with a smile. The memory was still so very clear. There he 
was, in his office, looking at those damn slides, expecting to spend 
a quiet, uninterrupted afternoon in that basement office of his with 
this case and afterwards go home early to do ... well ... nothing 
really. He hadn't had anything plTarad. There was hardly anything 
for him to do, he had no social life, nothing outside the X-Files. 
Mm, maybe that's why he had always been such a workaholic ... 
Never mind. But then he had heard a polite yet determined knock 
on the door and next thing he had looked up, seeing a pair of the 
most beautiful deep blue eyes he had ever seen, set in a young 
woman's face, casting him a curious glance, appraising him, just 
before she extended a slender hand and introduced herself. 
	Dana Scully.
	'Actually I'm looking forward to working with you. I've 
heard a lot about you', she had said in response to his sarcastic 
remarks. Yes, he hadn't found it hard to imagine just what they had 
told her about him. It hadn't been for nothing that he had answered 
to her knock on the door 'Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's 
most unwanted!'
	Most unwanted. Nowadays he flattered himself with the 
idea that at least for one person in this world he was very much 
wanted. For that same woman he had been dying to see running for 
the hills on that very first case in Oregon. How he had tried to be as 
uncooperative as possible within reason to cause her to ask for a 
transfer from the X-Files ...
	"She's a very lovely young woman", his mother said after a 
while, interrupting his thoughts. "It's clear that she has a lot of 
positive influence on you. She cares about you, doesn't she?"
	"Yeah, sometimes even a little too much, I'm afraid", 
Mulder said with a little sigh.
	"How's that?"
	"You know, sometimes I do things that ... I shouldn't be 
doing ... but I usually act before thinking things through, that's how 
I get myself into trouble all the time. And she ... she never hesitates 
to get my ass out of the shit I get myself into. No matter what the 
costs or efforts, Scully will always take my outstretched hand, but 
instead of pushing me farther into the mess, which is really all I 
deserve at such a moment, she helps me out. And I know she's 
angry with me on such occasions, and I know she wonders each and 
every time why the hell she's once again helping me, but even then, 
despite that anger, she helps me. And it costs her. I know it and then 
I feel even guiltier."
	"Are you blaming yourself for what happens to her at such 
moments?"
	Mulder nodded. "Yes"
	"Are you blaming yourself for her cancer as well, Fox?" 
Teena asked, looking at her son's face.
	Now the answer didn't come as quickly as the previous one.
	"Do you think you're	the one to blame, Fox?"
	"I ... I don't know ...", he said softly and slowly. "... I hope 
I'm not, I couldn't live with the idea if I knew for certain I was the 
reason for this dreadful disease in her, but ..."
	They sat down on a bench in a small park.
	"... but ... I'd like to know for sure ..." He sighed, then 
looked at his mother. "Mom, do you think I'm the cause of her 
condition?"
	She took his hands and rubbed them softly.
	"What do you think yourself?" she asked.
	"I ... I don't know ..."
	"Did you try to find a cure for her?"
	"God, yes! I tried the hardest I could!" he said. "But what if 
that isn't enough? And why her? She didn't deserve it! She didn't 
deserve being abducted, being tested ... having this cancer ...", he 
added in a whisper.
	They were silent once more.
	"What, Fox?" Teena said, sensing that there was something 
more on his mind.
	Mulder looked at his hands, then at his mother and back at 
his hands. His words came slowly. "Two weeks ago I found a 
possible cure for her, mom, a treatment so new, so radical that at 
first we couldn't find a doctor willing to take the risks and the 
responsibility to try it. But after a day or so she found a doctor, Paul 
Stevenson, who volunteered to do the test on Scully, provided he 
wouldn't be held responsible for any negative outcome. Scully was 
so enthusiastic when she heard it that she didn't want to wait 
another second, but I ... I wasn't, mom, I was so afraid ..." He 
sighed deeply. " ... Have you ever had the feeling that after a very 
long time, maybe indeed your whole life, you finally find that one 
thing that really means the world to you, that makes you happy, that 
makes you think 'Okay, now I don't need anything else anymore', 
only to find out that you can't keep it? You know, regardless of 
what you think or what you want, you cannot have it forever ...?"
	"Are you talking about Dana now, Fox?"
	He shrugged helplessly and nodded slightly.
	"You love her, don't you, Fox?"
	"I do"
	"Very much". It wasn't a question.
	"More than anything or anybody in the world", he 
answered.
	"Does she know that?"
	"Yes"
	"Did you tell her that?"
	"She knows", Mulder said. "I don't think she had a lot of 
trouble finding that out."
	They were silent for a minute. Then Teena spoke, her 
question taking him a little by surprise.
	"Do you want to marry her, Fox?"
	Mulder looked at her, then nodded slowly. "Yes"
	He saw her lips curve in a delighted smile and knew he had 
to come to his own rescue now.
	"Hold on a sec, mom, you look like you've already got us 
engaged and married! I haven't even asked her yet! I mean, I ..."
	"Well, if you want to marry her, what are you waiting for, 
Fox? Why don't you go and ask her to marry you?"
	"I'm scared, mom", came his slightly strange reply.
	"Scared? Are you afraid she'll refuse?"
	Mulder shook his head. "No. I think -- I hope -- that she 
wants to marry me just as much as I'd like to marry her. But we 
can't ... I mean ... with her cancer ... we've got no future together, 
mom, and ... we really can't ..."
	"Do you believe that, Fox?" his mother asked sternly.
	"No, I believe we'll find a cure for her eventually. I believe 
she's going to get better, I believe she believes in her recovery. It's 
just that ... the doctors don't believe in her recovery, they believe 
she's only got one year left to live ..." Then he continued, his voice 
soft and sad. 	"They told me to really enjoy this Christmas, to 
make it a beautiful one, also for her, because it's so unlikely she'll 
live to see the next one ..."
	"She's only got one year left to live?" Teena asked softly.
	"Yes. I mean, she had that test two weeks ago and she 
herself is quite enthusiastic about it, but I can't allow myself to feel 
the same. And the fact that she knows this cure isn't very likely to 
be the miracle-cure we've been looking for, she realises this fate as 
well. And that's why we're both so afraid of making plans, making 
long-term decisions. The future looks so dark for us ..."
	Teena got up from the bench and Mulder followed her 
example. She stood before him and took his hands in her own.
	"Was that last bit what your common sense tells you or 
what your heart tells you, Fox?"
	"My common sense. My heart only tells me that I love her. 
It hasn't got time to say anything else ..."
	"Except maybe to express the wish to make her your wife, 
Fox?"
	He nodded. "I'd love to marry her, mom, it's just that ... 
that it's not the most sensible thing to do ... I mean ..."
	"Fox, when it comes to love, people hardly ever show a lot 
of sensible thinking. And maybe that's just as well."
	She squeezed his hands gently and smiled at him.
	"Go and ask her, Fox. You both believe you do have a 
future together. You both believe she'll get better. And you both 
know you'll never be happier than when you're together."
	Mulder frowned. "But what if the doctors are right, mom? 
What if she really has only about a year to live? What if ...?"
	"Then go and make this one year the happiest of your lives. 
Make it a year to remember, to cherish. Make it a year that, when 
the ultimate happens, you will both recall as a year that brought you 
closer than you ever thought possible. And if she is going to die, 
you'll be needing each other so much ..."
	"I don't need marriage to be with her when she dies, mom", 
he said with a frown.
	"I know, but I also know you'll feel so much better together 
..."
	"You really think so, mom?" Mulder asked softly.
	Teena nodded. "I do, Fox, you both love each other madly. 
Please ask her."
	He smiled. "I will. I promise I'll ask her."
	His mother laughed. "That's my boy", she said, hugging 
him tightly.
	"I love you, mom. I may not always have shown it, but I 
really do."
	For her part, Teena was content just to hold him. Then she 
let him go and intended to walk on, but Mulder clearly had 
something on his mind.
	"Eh, mom?" he said, standing still. "There's one more thing 
I gotta tell you ..."
	"Yes, Fox?"
	"Well, eh ..." Okay, now why the hell had his whole mind 
suddenly become as fertile as the Sahara Desert, he wondered 
desperately? "You know, you made me promise to ask Scully to 
marry me, but ... well ... I've sort of ... toyed with the idea before, 
you know ..."
	"Fox, what do you mean?" Teena asked smiling.
	Mulder put his hand in the pocket of his coat and pulled out 
a small box which he opened to show his mother the contents. And 
then he saw her literally beaming. A ring.
	"Oh Fox, how lovely!" Teena said delighted. "When did 
you buy it?"
	"Some time ago", he answered. He couldn't help a goofy 
grin of contentment appearing on his face. "I wanted to propose to 
her, you know, but that was before she was diagnosed with cancer. 
All I thought I needed was the right moment to ask her, but then the 
cancer came and I couldn't bring myself to asking her anymore."
	"Why not, Fox?"
	"I ... I don't know", he said a bit timidly. "I think it was 
because I was so afraid of losing her that I didn't want to ... to 
connect myself too much to her, if you understand what I mean."
	He was silent for a moment, then continued speaking softly. 
"You could say that I tried to prepare myself for being alone all 
over again, and for the rest of my life. But I couldn't put any 
distance between Scully and myself, not without feeling our need 
for even more closeness. And I guess that's why I always kept that 
ring in my pocket, you know, for when the perfect moment, the 
perfect opportunity would present itself." He laughed a bit. "I sound 
like a love-struck lunatic ..."
	"Do you really think you do?" Teena said with raised 
eyebrows.
	Mulder opened his mouth to answer, then just laughed. 
"No, I've always been quite serious about all this ..."
	His mother smiled and took his hand that was holding the 
ring. "Of course, I know you have. And now please show me the 
ring, I'm just dying to know what you've bought for Dana!"
	"Sure", Mulder smiled as he took the ring from the little 
box. "Look", he said, "the ring consists of three different, separate 
rings ..." he made the three rings come apart. " ... so that you get 
two rings with a little hand and one plain ring. These two rings are 
yellow gold, the plain one is red gold -- you know, because of her 
hair -- and when you put them together, the little hands interlock, 
symbolising the bond between man and woman." He put the rings 
back together so that they formed one delicate jewel. "I thought it 
was appropriate to what our relationship has been for so many years 
now ..." He looked at his mother. "What do you think, mom?"
	She took him completely by surprise giving him a heart-felt 
hug. "It's wonderful, it's romantic, it's so special", she said. "It's 
perfect!"
	Mulder smiled broadly as he took the ring and put it back in 
its box which disappeared into his coat pocket. Then he looked at 
his mother.
	"Go make one woman on this earth very, very happy, Fox."
	"I promise I will. And I also promise you'll be the first one 
to know when I've finally proven to possess the guts to ask her!"
	"That's wonderful, sweetheart. You know, Margaret and I 
had been talking about you and Dana, and quite frankly we were 
already wondering what was taking you two so long!"
	"Guess we just needed a little persuasion", Mulder 
answered.
	"Cancer's too much of a persuasion, Fox", his mother 
answered, suddenly serious.
	"I know ...", he answered softly.
	"She loves you ...", she said with a smile.
	He grinned. "Yeah ... isn't that unbelievable?"

*~*~*
27 December

	CLEARLY THE 27TH OF December was a day the Scully 
family used to get rid of all the physical problems the Christmas 
celebrations had caused. For when Mulder came down at 
approximately half past eleven he found he was the first person 
downstairs that day.
	Or so he thought, because at that moment he saw a familiar 
figure sleeping on the couch, curled up under a blanket and still 
dressed in pyjamas.
	On tip-toes he went towards the couch. He couldn't 
suppress a smile at the sight of Scully sleeping there, her head on 
the elbow-rest, her small feet tucked under her body, the purple 
pyjamas covering her beautiful body in an modest yet incredibly 
sexy way. Her face was relaxed and her fiery hair fTarad out over 
the elbow-rest.
	She turned slightly in her sleep and a few strands of her hair 
fell across her face. Mulder, who had knelt down by her side and 
who was fascinated by her sleeping, extended a hand to wipe them 
away, right at the same moment that she lifted her hand to do the 
same. Their hands touched and they froze in their actions.
	A low, satisfied sound escaped her lips as she took hold of 
his hand and more or less dragged him onto the couch, her arms 
snaking behind his neck. She kept her eyes closed, but chuckled as 
she felt and heard his surprised reaction.
	It took some manoeuvering, but then he managed to sit 
down on the couch and make Scully lie in his arms.
	"Mm, I like this", he heard her murmur with a smile and a 
sigh.
	She still had her eyes closed and with a smile that was 
almost arrogantly pleased, she rubbed her cheek against his chest, 
feeling the soft hum of his chuckle deep down inside him. She 
breathed in deeply.
	"You smell so good ...", she whispered. She absolutely 
refused to open her eyes. Doing that would mean the inevitable 
return to the real world and she was perfectly content with being 
here in this quiet no-man's land that existed between sleeping and 
waking. She could stay here forever ...
	Mulder grinned. "Do I really?" he asked.
	He liked this soft, sleepy Scully, the warm, drowsy voice 
and look of the woman he loved so much.
	Scully nodded. She snuggled deeper in his embrace, feeling 
warmer than any blanket could make her feel.
	"Yeah ...", she said.
	"What do I smell like then?"
	"You", she answered. "You smell like you."
	He chuckled. "What's that?"
	"Oh ...", she said and yawned. " ... it's warm and clean. 
Male. Very Mulder ... Smells really good ..."
	He smiled at this comment and kissed her softly on the top 
of her head.
	"How long have you been up now, Scully?"
	"I don't know. What's the time?" she said, finally opening 
her eyes just a little bit to look at him.
	Mulder looked at his watch. "Almost noon."
	"About eight hours then, I guess", she answered.
	"You were up at four this morning? We only went to bed at 
about one, you've hardly slept!"
	"I slept here on the couch."
	"Yes, but that's the couch. It's not your bed", he protested.
	"I couldn't sleep in my bed", she answered, sitting up a 
little more.
	Mulder frowned. He was supposed to be the insomniac in 
their partnership, not she. "How come?"
	Scully shrugged. "Don't know. Sleep just didn't come, I 
suppose."
	"Nightmares?"
	"Worries"
	"Worries?"
	"I'm worrying too much", Scully said with a sigh.
	Mulder didn't say anything, just held her closer.
	"I'm often thinking about life, you know, about me, you, 
life and death, I'm thinking a lot about death these days ...", she 
said, her voice sounding a little indifferent as if she wanted to 
dissociate herself from her worries. " .. Guess that last topic isn't as 
unrealistic a subject as it used to be ..."
	"Are you afraid to die, Scully?"
	She shook her head. "No. I believe in an afterlife, Mulder, 
it's one of those very few things I've still got a strong belief in. I 
really don't want to leave this life, but I know that I must one day 
and I believe there'll be a place for me to go. A place one can call 
heaven, or hell, I don't know what would apply to my particular 
case, or simply afterlife. Death is not the end, I know that for sure. 
And that's why I'm not afraid."
	"Do you think you're going to die?"
	"We all die, Mulder."
	"That's not what I meant, Scully", Mulder said a little 
irritated.
	Scully looked up at him, her look apologetic. "I'm sorry, I 
knew that." Then she sighed again. "But I can't answer that 
question, Mulder. I don't want to die, but who am I to decide about 
life and death? I just know that I'm gonna fight and fight until 
there's nothing left for us to fight for and then I'll be ready to 
surrender." She looked at him. "Only then, Mulder, only when we 
both know we've got nothing to fight for anymore. But we still got 
that cure you found for me ..."
	As for him, Mulder chose to just hold her as tightly as he 
could without hurting her. And slowly a plan formed in his head. 
There was something they had to do, someone might be waiting for 
them, though waiting was probably not the perfect term for it ...
	He rose from the couch, silently asking her to follow him 
upstairs. And when they had reached her bed room, he finally 
spoke:
	"Get dressed, Scully, there's a place I want to take you."

	"WHERE ARE WE GOING, Mulder?" Scully asked when they 
were in Mulder's car.
	Mulder didn't look at her. "You'll find out in a moment."
	She looked at the seat in the back of the car and saw the 
flowers. "We're going to my sister's grave?"
	Mulder nodded and looked at her. "You know I promised 
you to bring flowers to her grave as often as I could ... And I 
haven't been able to do that in the past few weeks. I feel I owe her 
... and you ..."
	"You're still blaming yourself, aren't you?" Scully said 
softly.
	"It's my fault she's dead, Scully. To me that seems plenty 
of good reason to blame myself!"
	"You still think it's your fault, Mulder?"
	"I don't think that, I know it is!"
	"And there would be no way for me to talk this ludicrous 
idea out of your head, I suppose?"
	"No way in hell", he said grimly, his eyes fixed on the road.
	Scully sighed but didn't speak, the silence causing Mulder 
to look at her.
	"What, no attempts to make me change my mind? No 
'please, Mulder, you know it's not your fault's?" His tone was 
sarcastic, but also held a slightly amused ring.
	Scully shook her head. "Nope. Guess I could spare myself 
the effort. You're not at all susceptible to it, so I've decided not to 
bother!"
	Mulder chuckled and the smile on his face didn't disappear 
until they reached the gates of the cemetery.
	He parked the car and while Scully got out of the car, he 
took the flowers and got out as well. Then they walked in silence to 
Melissa's grave.
	In a way Scully loved this place, because it was so quiet, so 
peaceful, it made her forget about her worries and problems. 
Mulder and she didn't go here together very often, though she knew 
Mulder took flowers to her sister's grave at least once a week, or as 
often as he could.
	As they approached the grave Scully instictively took 
Mulder's hand and that was how they arrived at the site. She didn't 
let go until the moment that Mulder stepped forward to cautiously 
wipe some leaves from the soft snow that covered the grave.
	He always took care not to disturb Nature's adornments of 
the tomb stone, whether it was snow in winter, blossom in spring, 
dry sand in summer or fallen leaves in autumn. In a way he felt it 
added something to the place that made him feel better, though he 
couldn't really put his finger to it. And with the flowers amidst the 
beauty of the seasons it was as perfect as he could make it.
	When he had placed the flowers on the stone he returned to 
Scully's side.
	"You okay, Scully?" he asked softly.
	She nodded though she was biting her bottom lip to refrain 
from crying. But there was no way she could stop the tears that fell.
	"Sometimes ... sometimes I really wonder why ...", she 
said, her words broken by sobs. "... why mom still loves me so 
much ... I've done ... I've done so much to cause her pain ... and 
Missy and ..." She looked up at Mulder who took her in his arms.
	" ... and at times like these I ... I really wonder whether I did 
the right thing ... to become an FBI-agent ... daddy didn't want me 
to, Mulder, he was so disappointed ..."
	Mulder gently rubbed her back and kissed her softly on her 
head.
	"You chose to become an FBI-agent because you thought it 
was right, Scully. You did the right thing ... I know that and your 
mother knows that and Missy and Ahab know that and I'm sure 
they respect your choice ..."
	"Do you really think so, Mulder?" she whispered.
	He nodded and smiled. "I do"
	"Now I know for certain you're crazy!" Scully said with a 
half-smile, feeling the tear-flow stop gradually, but holding him 
tighter than ever.
	"I've been called worse", Mulder said, flashing her one of 
his irrepressible boyish grins.
	Scully surprised even herself by smiling warmly. "God, 
what have I ever done to deserve having you here with me?"
	"Beats me", he grinned.
	"And you even love me ... You know, sometimes I really 
don't understand you, Fox Mulder!"
	"You don't?"
	"No, I always thought no one would want the Ice Queen", 
she said and her eyes told him she wasn't joking right now. He was 
stunned by this notion. Sure, he knew of her reputation, but he had 
always known there had to be a deeper, much softer, much warmer 
Dana Scully under this rigid armour of cold science. Had she 
forgotten about this part herself? He found that hard to believe, but 
right now ...
	"No one would want the Ice Queen if they didn't know 
about the passion underneath, Scully. You may seem cold and hard 
on the outside, but I know that sometimes the heat inside you breaks 
through this frail crust of cool science. And those are the moments I 
live for. The moments when the volcano erupts from under the ice."
	"A volcano?"
	"A volcano wrapped in ice", Mulder said with a smile. 
"Casting sparks through ice-blue eyes, strands of fire on a snow-
white skin. And still you wonder why I couldn't help falling for 
you?"
	Scully smiled and pressed her cheek against his chest, 
keeping her eyes at her sister's grave, letting his body warm her.
	'Oh, Missy, how I wish you were still here ... I want to 
share my happiness with you ... so much ...', she thought, tears 
blurring her vision. She tried not to cry, she tried to stay calm, but 
she just couldn't and Mulder felt her attempts.
	"Shh, don't suppress it, Scully", he whispered. "Just let it 
happen, don't fight it, just let your tears come ... shh ... it's alright 
..."
	And the dam broke. She couldn't help it, she didn't want to 
help it, she only wanted to bury her face in his coat and cry out all 
her fears and grief and anger and frustrations, her tears a prayer for 
her sister and her father, knowing how much she missed them. A 
prayer also for Fox Mulder, she never wanted to be apart from him 
again, because he was the only one who could make her live her life 
to the fullest, even with everything that he made her go through. 
She knew that she'd never be able to leave him and she knew 
equally well that he'd never leave her. And she'd never love 
another as much as she loved him.
	'I love you, Missy', she thought, looking at her sister's 
grave. 'And I know that Ahab would never have approved of 
Mulder, but please don't let him be angry with him ...'
	A soft breeze blew through the cemetery, an icy yet gentle 
wind that made the two partners feel more accutely aware of each 
other than any time before, their combined warmth sheltering one 
another from even the most arctic winds Nature had in store.
	She loved him and he loved her. Period.
	"Let's go, Mulder", she said, drawing away from him, but 
making his arm circle her shoulders. Together they walked back to 
the gate of the cemetery. Scully looked around once, but then turned 
her head back. She didn't want to stay any longer.

	"WHY DID YOU WANT to take me there, Mulder?" Scully 
asked on the way home.
	He looked at her and shrugged a little. "Would you believe 
me if I told you I didn't really know?" He smiled a little 
apologetically.
	"You didn't know?"
	"Well, I wanted to go there myself, though originally I 
intended to go alone as usual, but I thought I'd like you to go with 
me."
	"Why, to see me cry?" Scully said with a short laugh.
	"No, of course not", Mulder answered slightly irritated. "I 
just thought ..." He sighed. "I just thought you'd appreciate it!"
	Scully was a bit startled by his annoyance. "Hey, Mulder, I 
didn't mean it to sound the way it sounded. I did appreciate it, you 
know. I really did."
	Mulder smiled. "You did?"
	"Of course I did", she said with a warm smile. "I've always 
appreciated the fact that you go to Missy's grave so often, and I 
know how much mom appreciates it as well."
	"I do it for you as well as for Melissa", he answered. "I 
know you loved her very much and I've always felt I'd sort of help 
you by doing this. And moreover I feel I owe Melissa the most 
important thing of my entire life, you know."
	"What's that?"
	"You don't know?" he asked.
	"Well ... eh ..", she said and laughed a bit. "Well, I hope I 
do ..."
	"So you do know then", Mulder said smiling.
	"But in what way, Mulder? And how?"
	"After you were returned from your abduction", he said 
with a slight frown, reliving those moments again. "I was in my 
apartment because my source had informed me that the men 
responsible for your abduction and most of all the condition you 
were in, would be coming to my apartment at a specific time. I was 
to be ignorant about their arrival, but Mr X told me I could be there, 
you know, to take revenge. 'To defend myself with terminal 
intensity' were his exact words. But then, about half an hour before  
that was to happen, Melissa came to my apartment and told me you 
were weakening and asked me to come with her to the hospital to 
spend the last few hours of your life with you. She said that even if 
I couldn't save you, I could at least be with you for a few more 
hours. I told her I couldn't go, that I really wanted to go, but that I 
couldn't, and then she was so angry with me. She told me I wanted 
to revenge you before you had even died, something she simply 
couldn't understand, and it made me realise what I was doing. 
	"And that's why I came to see you, to see you one more 
time, to hold your hand one more time, to be with you ... She made 
me see the foolishness of my intentions and I've always believed 
that the stubborness of your sister played a very large part in your 
eventual recovery."
	"I heard the doctors, Mulder", Scully said softly. "I heard 
them say that I was going to die and I was so scared all of a sudden. 
I didn't want to die, I felt better! But when they turned off the life-
support machines I felt like choking, I thought I was drowning, and 
the pain came crashing down on me so terribly that I could think of 
nothing but the sheer wish to die. The pain was so intense that I was 
terrified. And I don't want you to be angry with me now, Mulder, 
but I was so ... well ... so ..." She was silent for a moment and then 
continued, " ... let's say that I had my hands so full with my own 
person, my own life, that I had forgotten everyone else, including 
you. I thought I had nothing to lose by dying. But then all of a 
sudden I felt somebody take my hand, not to run even more tests on 
me, but just to hold it because that person wanted to hold my hand, 
and I heard you talking to me, saying that you didn't know if your 
presence was going to bring me back, but that you were here ... And 
I realised I had been wrong, I realised I had so much to lose by just 
giving up and give way to the pain ... And when I finally woke up 
and you came to see me I felt happier than ever before ... though I 
know I couldn't show you, because I was still so tired ..." She 
smiled a bit shyly after this confession. "Eh, Mulder?"
	"Yes?"
	"That was a goofy present you gave me ..."
	"What was? Your cross or the video?" he teased.
	"Silly Mulder ...", she rebuffed him gently. "Mulder?"
	"What?"
	"Will you buy me the second part of 'Superstars of the 
Superbowl' someday?"
	She was surprised by hearing him laugh out loud. "Of 
course, Scully! I didn't know you liked the video that much!"
	"Oh, I did, it was great. I just hope I won't need another 
abduction to get the next issue!"
	"Never", he said.
	"Good", she answered, knowing with utmost certainty that 
he wasn't going to let that happen to her again. "After all, one 
abduction's really enough for anyone ..."

*~*~*
29 December

	"HEY SCULLY", MULDER SAID as he entered Scully's bed 
room. "I was looking for you. What are you doing?"
	"Oh, just fiddling around with some stuff I found. Look", 
she held up a few ribbons. "Mom found these amongst some other 
things from Missy's and my childhood."
	Mulder took the ribbons and let them glide through his 
fingers.
	"Blue ribbons", he said with a smile. "You know, Samantha 
had almost exactly the same."
	"She did?"
	"Yeah, they were her pride and treasure", he said grinning. 
"Touching them meant capital punishment for little Fox Mulder, to 
be executed forthwith!"
	"I can see how she kept you down", Scully said whilst 
rummaging through the contents of the cardboard box.
	"Oh look", she said and started to laugh. "Oh my, I didn't 
remember having pink ribbons as well!"
	"Pink?" Mulder said with a grimace. "Now I know you're a 
girl!"
	Scully shot him a glance, but quite frankly she couldn't 
blame him in the least, for these ribbons weren't just pink, they 
were pink!
	Mulder sat down on the bed and looked at some of the 
exhibits from his partner's childhood. He picked up a battered 
yellowish teddy bear.
	"Yours?" he asked, holding the stuffed toy up.
	Scully nodded. "Yeah"
	"What's its name?"
	"Her name", Scully stressed. Amusement sounded in her 
voice.
	Mulder raised his eyebrows. "Okay, what's her name, 
then?"
	"Oh, 'Bear', I guess", Scully answered, not looking up.
	He couldn't help laughing and she looked up from her 
activities.
	"What's so funny?"
	"I just thought that's so you, Scully", he said. "Paying 
enormous attention to details and then right away get rid of all the 
adornments and excesses!"
	"You don't like the bear, Mulder? Because if you don't, 
you're gonna wound this little girl's pride and love, you know!"
	"You mean, you've actually been a little girl, Scully?" 
Mulder teased, seeking and receiving the look he wanted. He 
chuckled. Then he placed the teddy bear back onto the bed and took 
the blue ribbons in his hand. From the corner of his eye he saw 
Scully throw all the things back into the box and place it on the 
floor with a sigh.
	"Hey, Scully", he said, looking at the little scraps of silk in 
his hand. "Don't suppose I could talk you into putting these in your 
hair?"
	"I don't know", Scully said. "I've never done it myself, I 
mean, mom always made these pigtails for me ..."
	Mulder got up from the bed and went to stand behind her.
	"Do it", he whispered. "I wanna see you with pigtails!"
	Scully looked around and smiled. "Okay", she said, taking 
the ribbons from his hand and walking over to the mirror.
	It took her a lot of effort because her hair was really much 
too short for Mulder's plans, but in the end she managed two 
acceptable pigtails. She tied the ribbons around them, adding a 
finishing touch to them by tying a cute little bow on top. Then she 
turned around and faced Mulder who was sitting on the edge of the 
bed, watching her.
	"So, waddya think?" she said with a huge smile, cocking 
her head adorably.
	Mulder smiled in return and got up from the bed. "Oh, it's 
definitely cute - ...", he said.
	Scully caught the catch in his voice. "But - ...", she said 
with an arched eye-brow. "You're not finished, Mulder, what are 
you thinking?"
	By this time he had reached her and went to stand right 
behind her. Then he whispered in his ear and she shivered.
	"I've never seen a woman who could look so positively 
sexy in pigtails", he said, the soft tone of his voice pooling deep 
down  in her belly.
	"My brothers never thought so", she said as she closed her 
eyes and leaned against him. She placed her hands flat to the sides 
of his thighs as he held her waist captive, his mouth still near her 
right ear, his breath ruffling her hair hot and seductive.
	"Your brothers are fools", he merely said, his voice so low, 
the need so obvious that her breath stopped in her throat.
	"Mulder ...", she moaned, feeling the arousal build inside 
her. She felt his lips on one side of her neck and then on her jaw and 
just below her ear. At the same time his hands wandered over her 
body, barely touching her, but always there where she needed them 
most, though she craved far more than this feather-light contact.
	"I want you, Scully ...", he breathed.
	And these words finally undid her. 
	She wanted him. She wanted more of this man. Much more. 
So much more.
	She turned her head so that she could kiss his jaw, enjoying 
the faint stubble. But most of all she enjoyed the necessity of having 
to turn around fully now, because in that way she could return every 
kiss, every caress, every blessing he bestowed on her.
	In the cemetery she had told him how much it surprised her 
that anybody would want her, Dana Scully. And she had believed it. 
Just as much as she had believed his words as he told her about the 
heat, the passion, 'the volcano', under her skin; this shell of ice a 
fragile cover for the fire that she knew existed underneath. 
	Fire that was sometimes nothing more than a faintly 
glowing ember, but sometimes raged like a forest fire out of control, 
hot as the sun, scorching, searing, incinerating all who didn't know 
how to handle it, reduce to mere ashes those who kindled the fire, 
but chose to treat it without due respect, and they paid the price.
	There was only one man who could make that ember blaze 
and yet not burn himself, instead becoming a part of it, adding 
precious fuel to a raging fire and make the passion white-hot and 
all-consuming.
	Fox Mulder, a man with the same fire that possessed her. It 
came in different shape in him, but the passion was there. She could 
see it, feel it. Mostly feel it. When those deep hazel eyes gazed at 
her as intently as they sometimes did in the office, she had always 
had to shift on her chair, a longing, a passion building inside her 
when it had no right being there.
	He was so damn fuckworthy.
	And as she captured his mouth with hers, she idly wondered 
what they had been waiting for all those five years. She wanted 
him, had always wanted him, and he wanted her, she knew that. 
Why had they chosen to skip every rule within the FBI, but stick to 
the only rule neither of them wanted to stick to? Ah, fuck the rules 
...
	She could feel his arousal, burning her hot as she kept her 
mouth locked to his. He uttered a low encouraging groan.
	'More', it said, 'please more'
	Your wish is my command.
	She felt his hands on her sweater, pulling at the hem, easing 
it upwards and over her head. She helped him get rid of this first bit 
of utterly useless clothing, immediately using the opportunity to 
lock the bed room door.
	Mulder smiled his appreciation. Lock the door, good idea.
	His hands slowly roamed over her upper body, feeling the 
softness, the incredible softness of her hot porcelain skin, counting 
the tender ribs he felt under it, brushing his knuckles against the 
undersides of her breasts that were still encased in this wonderfully 
simple cotton bra. He admired the simplicity, the pure basic 
material - natural and so, so right - of the garment. It accentuated 
and completed her personality so well.
	But he didn't allow his hands to feast on her breasts 
already, though the sheer thought of her soft full breasts under his 
hands, knowing how she was going to react by instinct, though they 
had never shared these things before, was appealing to the extreme.
	No, instead he let his hands travel to her back, small and the 
skin soft, tracing her spine with one finger, lazily counting the 
vertebrae, then cupping her shoulder blades in his hands and 
pressing her to him.
	Meanwhile, Scully had had her own goals to deal with. She 
had pulled his white jeans-shirt from his trousers, wondering if he 
had known how her body would react to the overwhelming surge of 
need and passion that would invade her the moment she'd look at 
him dressed as scrumptious as that. She couldn't spare a moment to 
think up an answer though, there were so much more important 
things for her to think about ...
	She tried to unbutton the shirt, but her fingers were 
trembling too much. She felt him chuckle and raise his hands to 
help her, but she took the collar of the shirt and just ripped it open 
before he could come to his shirt's rescue. The undershirt followed 
within milli-seconds.
	"Ooo, Scully ...", he groaned, his voice liquid fire, his eyes 
dark as the night. Darkness, fire, Fox Mulder. A combination ...
	Scully took in a deep gulp of air as she felt Mulder push her 
onto the bed in sitting position, then take one of her legs in his 
hands and remove her shoe and sock. Somehow this simple, 
everyday action had never seemed so sensual, so utterly arousing.
	The way he took off her sock reminded her of the scene in 
the snow when he had slowly taken off her glove, sodden by the 
snow ball fight that had preceded their passion. She shivered and 
sucked in deep gulps of air as she leaned back on her hands, the 
memory of the snow ball adding extra fire to the passion that was 
burning inside her already.
	He had bared both her feet by now and placed soft kisses on 
her feet. Then he ran his hands up her legs that were still covered by 
the thick cotton fabric of her jeans. Yet she felt so naked under his 
hands ... So utterly his ...
	He took her hips, then in one sudden move pulled her down 
and on top of him, kissing her hot, hard, insistent. There was no 
tenderness, no gentleness in this kiss, it was hungry and wild, 
ancient and undamaged by civilisation or restraint. It was a kiss 
only he could give her, a kiss only she could answer with equal 
intensity, because only she knew what made him tick, what made 
this man this man.
	This man, this man ...
	She felt his hand on her back, taking the clasp of her bra 
and flipping it open. Then he pulled it off her body and tossed it 
away, her breasts now bare against his chest.
	He lowered his hand between their bodies and after a detour 
over her upper body finally arrived at the waistband of her jeans. He 
undid the button and pulled down the zipper. He felt her hands join 
his, her thumbs hooking under the waistband of her jeans and 
panties, pulling them down her legs and kicking them off and away 
with ferocious need. Need for his jeans to follow hers.
	Now.
	"What the fuck are you waiting for, Mulder?" he heard her 
grumble as he seemed to wait just a bit too long before he 
undertook any action.
	"For your hands to do the job, agent Scully", he answered, 
looking in her eyes, her pupils dilated, the blackness circled by a 
thin band of azure. Like the deep blue sea. He could drown now and 
be happy.
	"Son-of-a-bitch!" she hissed. Then with unbelievable ease 
she flipped them over, wanting him on top of her naked body. 
Wanting him naked on top of her naked body!
	She took the button of his jeans and flipped it open, the 
zipper following suit milli-seconds later.
	"I hate you", she hissed desperately, passion clouding her 
usually so clear mind and vision.
	With her help he pulled the jeans down, taking his boxers 
along for the ride. He kicked the clothes off the bed.
	"I love you, too", he whispered as he revelled in the feeling 
of naked skin burning naked skin. At last. And with his eyes locked 
on hers and kissing her fully, he entered her, filling her completely 
and perfectly.
	The feeling of him inside her was more overwhelming than 
any sensation she had ever experienced. She had had her share of 
relationships, but not a single one of those came even close to what 
she had with this man. And it made all this so much more precious.
	" ... good, Mulder, this is so good ...", she moaned with a 
frown, keeping her eyes closed as she felt his heat, his thrusts inside 
her.
	Gradually the thrusts became faster, harder, more insistent, 
he couldn't help it, it was Scully who asked for it, demanded this 
from him. It was clear she had no difficulties sensing his rhythm 
and her movements completed his perfectly.
	He felt her arch her back under him, her sweaty skin slick 
against his as her heat surrounded him, directing him to certain 
oblivion. God, he couldn't believe how good she made him feel ... 
This woman was fire! A fucking volcano ...
	She surprised him by slowly turning them over until she 
was on top of him. Now she was in charge of this little game.
	She raised up a little and leaning her hands on the bed, she 
looked into his eyes. They were wild, unfocused. She smiled as she 
threw her sweaty hair back. God, she loved this! She loved the sight 
of this man losing control, she loved the way he lost contact with 
his civilised self and just let Nature play ...
	"Yeah, c'mon Mulder, gimme all ...", she whispered 
breathlessly, smiling wantonly down at him. " ... gimme all you got! 
I wanna have it all ..."
	She rode him with a passion so fierce that it surprised even 
her, but right now she didn't care one bit. It was so right, he made 
her feel so good ...
	But then she felt his strong arms pulling her down at him. 
His movements were short and hard and it showed her he was on 
the utmost edge, only a fraction away from tumbling over it. She 
wasn't far behind herself, the tension inside her building and rolling 
in waves along her nerve-endings in ways she had never 
experienced before. And as she felt the last all-destructive wave 
crash down on her, she felt him surrender as well, the knowledge 
making her world explode into millions of stars, blissfully 
shattering reality and she smiled weakly, exhausted by the 
onslaught, but supremely content as she let her body collapse on top 
of him.
	
	A LITTLE WHILE LATER she woke up and saw Mulder 
looking at her. He had covered them by the blankets of her bed, but 
she decided that for real warmth blankets weren't going to suffice. 
She needed Mulder.
	"That was unbelievable, Mulder", she sighed, a huge smile 
curving her lips.
	"Yeah, it most certainly was", he answered, still 
remembering every second of it. "Though I can't say we practised 
safe sex ..."
	"Oops", Scully answered weakly, worried for a moment. 
Then she shrugged. "Well, there isn't much we can do about it now, 
I guess ..."
	She saw Mulder looking at her seriously and she smiled at 
him. "Don't worry, Mulder, if something happened, I'm glad it 
happened with you ..."
	"You serious?" Mulder asked, still not entirely sure of the 
situation. "I mean, I don't want you ... if you ..."
	She nodded. "I'm positive, Mulder, I've always wanted it, 
it's just that I never thought it would happen this way. I always 
thought there'd be a little more planning involved, but I think I like 
it better this way."
	He began to chuckle and Scully frowned.
	"What?"
	"If we're going to have a daughter, Scully, promise me 
you're not going to make her wear pigtails with blue ribbons!"
	Scully blushed and grinned. "God, I had forgotten that I 
was still wearing those!"
	She started to untie them, but Mulder stopped her.
	"No", he said. "Not yet."
	"But, Mulder, I can't go on wearing these forever, I ..."
	"I'm not asking you to wear them forever. I'm just asking 
you to keep them for as long as we're here together ..." He took her 
face in his hands and kissed her, hotter than she had expected after 
this sweet little scene.
	She arched an eye-brow. "Mmm, am I mistaken or do I 
sense the need for a reprise, Mulder?" she asked innocently, her 
eyes showing everything but innocence.
	"Ooo, Scully, tell me how you can always amaze me with 
those excellent powers of perception! By the way, the answer is 
'yes'!"
	"You're insatiable, agent Mulder!"
	"And, boy, don't you love it!" he grinned. He tried to pull 
her to him, but instead she straddled him, pinning his shoulders to 
the bed.
	"Gotcha!" she said with a victorious smile. She used one 
hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear, then quickly 
pushed him down again.
	"Of course you realise, agent Scully, this means -..."
	"War, Mulder?" she said with a smile.
	Mulder shook his head, but this time he succeeded in 
rolling them over, losing, however, to her, as she toppled them over 
until she was on top of him again.
	"Gotcha again!"
	"You always had me, Scully, you've always been stronger 
than me", he smiled.
	"Have I really?" she asked, playfully brushing her lips over 
his. "I never knew that. Why didn't you tell me?"
	"You get one guess ..."
	She opened her mouth to give a suitably sarcastic retort, but 
suddenly couldn't think of one. Instead she laughed. "God, I've 
never loved you as much as I love you now!" she laughed, her eyes 
telling him she meant every bit of it.
	This unabashed declaration of love swept along every nerve 
in his body until it made his heart jump a little and sweet passion 
built inside him once again. He looked up at her and smiled. Then 
he pulled her to him and pressed his lips on hers, intent on giving 
their first time together a sequel ...
	But before they could do anything they heard Margaret's 
voice, calling from the bottom of the stairs.
	"Dana, someone on the phone for you!"
	Scully let her head drop down on Mulder's chest. "Oh no!" 
she muttered. "I can't believe this!"
	Mulder sighed. "Guess you gotta answer it ..." 
	But Scully shook her head. "No, I don't ...", she protested. 
She just couldn't believe this was happening to them!
	"Doesn't your mom have a phone in her room?" Mulder 
suggested. "You can answer it from there."
	Scully looked at him. "Great idea, Mulder, thanks!"
	She got out of bed and took her bathrobe to cover her body. 
Then she left the room and Mulder heard her shout, "I'll answer it 
in your room, mom!"
	Then she momentarily came back to her own room. "Don't 
go anywhere, Mulder! I don't think I've had enough!"

	IT TOOK SO LONG for Scully to return that in the end Mulder 
started to get worried. He slipped on his shirt and boxers and 
walked to Margaret Scully's bed room.
	There he found Scully sitting on the bed, tears rolling over 
her face, clutching the receiver to her chest. As soon as she saw 
Mulder she extended her arms to him.
	"Scully, what's wrong?" Mulder asked with a frown, 
worried by her reaction.
	"Hold me, Mulder ...", she merely whispered. He sat down 
on the bed at let her curl herself in his arms.
	"What happened, Scully?" he asked, holding her close to 
him.
	"The person on the phone was Paul Stevenson, Mulder ..."
	He frowned. "The doctor you had for the tests?"
	She nodded. "Yes, he called to say the results are in his 
office. He wants to discuss them with me."
	"But why are you so upset, Scully? I mean ..."
	"I'm scared, Mulder, I don't want to know the results! I 
don't want to know I'm gonna die! I don't want to die!!" She burst 
into fresh tears at these words.
	"Shh, Scully, sweetheart ...", Mulder hushed her, gently 
rubbing her back. " ... it's going to be just right, I know. Hey, Dana, 
you had so much trust in this cure and in me, where has it gone?"
	"I do trust you, Mulder, you know I do. But you also know 
the truth about this cure as much as I do and I'm so scared ..."
	"I know you are ...", he said and kissed her softly, " ... I 
know you are ..."
	Then he made her look at him. "Now this is what we're 
going to do, Scully. It's getting late, we'll go downstairs, have 
something to drink, spend a quiet evening and tomorrow we'll go to 
Dr Stevenson together. And I promise you, everything's going to be 
alright."
	"You can't promise me that I'm cured, Mulder!"
	"I'm not promising you positive results, Dana, I'm just 
promising you'll be fine", he said. "If I promise you that, whatever 
the results of the tests may be, that I'm going to stay with you, is 
that enough of a reassurance to you?"
	Scully finally managed a small smile. "Of course it is, 
Mulder, I had no doubt you would promise me that ..."
	He smiled and lifted her up from the bed. "Come, Starbuck, 
let me get you to your room. We'll get dressed and afterwards we'll 
go downstairs."
	When they got to Scully's bed room, Mulder sat her on the 
bed. She got up, took her clothes and silently dressed herself, whilst 
Mulder did the same.
	"Mulder, there's one last thing I'd like to ask you."
	"Yes?"
	"Of course I don't know what the results of the tests will 
be, but I'd like to tell mom first. She was so disappointed when I 
told you that I was diagnosed with cancer before telling her ..."
	"That's alright, Scully", he answered.
	"Really? You're not angry with me that I want to let her 
know first?"
	He shook his head and took her hands, looking at her 
seriously. "No, Scully. I know how much you love your mother and 
how much she loves you. Let her know first."
	At these heart-felt words she smiled and rested her head 
against his chest. She loved him so much ...

*~*~*
30 December

	MULDER AND SCULLY DROVE to the hospital in silence. 
Only when they arrived Mulder turned towards her. He saw she was 
paler than usual and his worries increased.
	"Scully, are you okay?"
	Scully turned to look at him and shook her head. "No, I'm 
scared, Mulder"
	"Hey, it's okay", he said gently, taking her hand and 
squeezing softly. "Just remember that I'm here and whatever is 
going to happen, I'm not going away."
	Scully managed a half-smile. She had a good reason to be 
afraid. This cure Mulder had found for her could be the miracle-
cure they'd been searching for so hard for so many months. It could 
be the cure that would make the tumor go away within unheard-of 
time, leaving her with no traces of the cancer. She'd be completely 
healthy again ... But it was a cure with one big disadvantage: if the 
cure didn't kill the cancer, it would instead become a part of it, 
accelerating the disease. And she'd have even less chances than 
before, even less time to live ...
	And now that she was about to know the results of the tests 
that had been performed, she was terrified.
	They walked through the corridors of the hospital, hand in 
hand, needing this innocent but intimate contact dearly.
	They were directed to the right ward and upon arriving 
there, they saw the surgeon who had applied the cure to Scully 
waiting for them.
	For a moment Scully closed her eyes and swallowed, 
squeezing Mulder's hand hard to keep from losing her balance. 
Then they walked on.
	She felt like a prisoner on his way to execution ...
	"Hello, Dana, how are you feeling?" the surgeon said. 
"Good morning, agent Mulder."
	"I'm fine, Paul", Scully answered, smiling a bit. "Mulder, 
this is Paul Stevenson, he's the one who volunteered to use the cure 
you found for me."
	Both men shook hands. "Pleased to me you, Dr Stevenson", 
Mulder said, taking confidence in the earnest expression of the 
young doctor. He felt this was a man who took his job very 
seriously, a reassuring knowledge.
	"Pleased to meet you, too, agent Mulder", Stevenson 
answered. Then he turned back to Scully. "Well, Dana, as I told you 
over the phone, I received the results of the tests we did to see what 
happened to you cancer. And most importantly we've got the MRI-
scans."
	"Show them to me, Paul", Scully said softly. "Don't keep 
us waiting here ..."
	"Of course, Dana", Stevenson said. "Eh, according to 
regulations I'll have to tell you the results of the tests in private, so 
your partner will have to wait outside for a few minutes .."
	Scully looked at Mulder, panic raising inside her and 
unconsciously she grabbed his hand. "Mulder can't come with me, 
Paul?"
	"I ... I'm sorry, Dana, I ... it's regulations ... I ...", Stevenson 
stammered. Obviously he didn't want to deny Scully Mulder's 
presence, but he didn't want to violate regulations either.
	"It's alright, Dr Stevenson, I'll wait outside for a couple of 
minutes", Mulder said. Then he turned towards Scully and took her 
in his arms, his hands loosely around her waist. "You're gonna be 
fine, Scully. Don't worry, I'll come in after a few minutes."
	"But what if he has to tell me the cure didn't work, Mulder? 
I can't take that blow alone, I need you to be there for me!" Scully 
whispered.
	He pressed a lingering kiss on her forehead, then looked in 
her eyes. "You'll be okay, Scully. Just remember that I love you, no 
matter what the results may be ..."
	"I love you, too", Scully whispered very softly. Then she 
turned towards Stevenson. "Let's go ..."
	"Alright, Dana", Stevenson said. "Agent Mulder, please 
come back in two or three minutes."
	"I will", Mulder said.
	Then the door of Stevenson's office closed and Mulder was 
alone.

	MULDER HAD NEVER KNOWN that three minutes could last 
so long. He found himself practically pushing the hands of his 
watch forward with his eyes.
	He heard voices coming from the room, Scully's alto 
mixing with the lower tones of Stevenson's voice.
	Then he got up and walked to the door. He knocked, 
opened the door and went inside.
	"Agent Mulder, come in. Please have a seat", Stevenson 
said. Mulder nodded and closed the door behind him, then sat down 
in a chair next to Scully. He looked at her. She was sitting quietly in 
her chair, the MRI-scans lying in her lap. She had been crying, he 
saw, and his heart constricted.
	"Agent Mulder, Dana expressed the wish to tell you the 
results of the tests in private, so I'll leave you two alone for a few 
minutes, okay?"
	Mulder nodded hesitatingly, once again looking at Scully. 
He was a bit puzzled by her subdued appearance, but most of all he 
was suddenly afraid. He had promised her his support, he knew, he 
had told her she could always turn to him, but all of a sudden he felt 
that if the results were as devastating as he feared, he wouldn't be 
able to give her that support ...
	Stevenson left the room after momentarily resting his hand 
on Scully's shoulder, a gesture that didn't help Mulder's courage in 
the least. And neither did his words: "I'll be outside if you need me, 
Dana."
	When they were alone, Mulder got up from his chair and 
knelt down before her. She looked at him, but didn't speak. Instead 
fresh tears trickled down her cheeks.
	"Dana", Mulder whispered, placing his left hand over her 
right. "Please, Dana, tell me. Don't keep me waiting ..."
	Scully looked at him and swallowed.
	"I'm cured, Fox", she whispered so softly that he didn't 
trust his ears.
	"What, Scully?" he asked desperately, hoping for his life 
that he had understood her correctly.
	Scully placed her other hand over his, letting the scans drop 
to the floor. "The cancer has disappeared, Mulder, the tumor is gone 
..." Her voice broke as she told him this.
	Mulder found himself incredulous as he heard this, unable 
to grasp the reality of her words.
	"You're cured?" he whispered, feeling tears pricking in the 
corners of his eyes.
	She nodded.
	"You're not going to die?"
	"No"
	"You're not going to die ...", he whispered. Then he hid his 
face in her lap and cried soundlessly.
	Scully bent over him and let her head rest on his, her hands 
softly weaving through his hair and she wept for long minutes. 
Then she felt Mulder stir.
	"Tell me I'm not dreaming, Scully. Tell me I'm not in my 
apartment, waking up and finding it was all a dream ...", he said 
desperately, keeping his eyes closed.
	"Oh, sweetheart", she whispered. She kissed him softly. 
"Here, is this enough proof for you?"
	Mulder nodded, smiling weakly through his tears. "I'm so 
happy, Scully, I ... I just find it so hard to believe ..."
	"I couldn't believe it either, Mulder, but I know it's real and 
I know it happened to me", she said. "Thank you for trusting me so 
much."
	Mulder shook his head. "No, thank you for trusting me so 
much. This cure could have killed you, Scully, but you took it 
anyway ... I don't think many people would have taken such a huge 
risk."
	"I knew I had a reason to trust the cure, Mulder. I had you 
..."
	Mulder smiled at her. "Does your mother know the good 
news?"
	"Yes, I called her before you came into the room. I think 
we'll have a celebration when we come home!"
	"And a good thing it is, too!", Mulder said with a grin, 
brushing his hands over his eyes, removing the traces of the tears. 
"Come on, Dana, I've had enough of hospitals and I don't want to 
be found in the Oncology department of a hospital ever again in my 
life!"
	Scully took his hand and led him out of the room. "You've 
got no idea how true those words are!"

	AS THEY LEFT THE hospital, Mulder searched his pockets for 
the car keys, but Scully stopped him.
	"No, Mulder", she said. "I don't want to go home yet."
	Mulder looked at her. "No? So what do you want to do 
then?"
	"I want to go for a little walk, feel the wind; things have 
gone so fast, I want to get a breath of clean air ...", she said.
	"Yeah, sure, where'd you like to go?"
	"There's a park", she said. "It's quiet there. Will you go 
with me?"
	"Of course."
	"Let's go then", Scully said.

	THE PARK WAS VERY quiet, just as Scully had hoped. There 
were hardly any people and for minutes at a time they'd see nobody 
at all, hear just the wind blow through the branches of the trees and 
the soft sound of patches of snow falling onto the ground.
	The frozen snow cracked under their shoes as they walked 
slowly through the park. Mulder kept one hand in his pocket, the 
other one around Scully's shoulder, keeping her close to his side.
	"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Scully said eventually.
	Mulder nodded. "Yeah ..." He looked at her, enjoying the 
quiet relaxed expression on her face.
	"And the air, it smells so ... so fresh, so clean, it's all so 
pure ...", she said, inhaling deeply and filling her lungs with the 
stinging cold air.
	They were silent for minutes. Then Scully saw a bench and 
they sat down. Mulder sensed she needed a little space right now 
and forced himself not to touch her. They didn't speak.
	Scully leaned her arms on her knees and looked at the 
frozen pond in front of them. Her thoughts were a maelstrom of 
images, parts of phrases, words, visions.
	She was cured. It so strange, almost unreal. It shouldn't 
have happened. The devil inside her head was defeated when it 
shouldn't have been. The cancer was gone. Gone. Forever.
	She had always thought that when the moment would come 
that she'd hear the news, she'd be so happy, feel so much better, 
feel, see the whole world just getting lighter, life would be so much 
easier. And she'd be making plans for the future right away.
	But she wasn't. She couldn't believe how naive she had 
been to think such things, but she had and it had given her hope. 
She had hoped, she had known her body and most of all her head 
would feel different, lighter, because of this diagnosis, but it didn't. 
She didn't feel as exhilarated as she had thought she'd feel. Instead 
she just felt an unexplainable urge to cry. And as her mind slowly 
became a blank her eyes filled with tears, tears she didn't know 
where they came from or why they came at all.
	She looked aside at Mulder who was watching her intently, 
a look of concern on his face. Yet he didn't speak, merely extended 
a hand. It was the final gesture and her lip started to tremble.
	Mulder saw her face twitch as she ultimately broke down 
and then he took her in his arms, making her bury her face in his 
coat as her hands grabbed the fabric.
	"Mulder ...", she sobbed, confused at her own reaction.
	"Shh, it's okay", he whispered. He stroked her hair and her 
cheek as she wept uncontrollably.
	It was the tension that found release now, he knew. For 
months she had kept all her fears, all her tears, all her emotions 
safely hidden inside her, hidden behind a mask of detachment that 
bordered on indifference. But even she couldn't keep it hidden for 
all eternity, one day it was bound to break through the surface. He 
had just hoped that it wouldn't happen when she was alone, he 
wanted to be there for her when it happened, even though he knew 
of her reluctance to show other people how she felt.
	"Why am I crying, Mulder?" came her question.
	"Because you need to, Scully", he answered.
	"But why?" she asked. "Why do I need to cry?"
	"Why not?" Mulder replied.
	Scully sighed. "You know, Mulder, it all seems so unreal, I 
find it so hard to believe, to make myself realise the consequences 
of Paul's words. I ..." She smiled a little. " ... when I still had that 
cancer I thought that once I'd be cured all the answers would 
become known to me. I'd know the why and the how of the disease 
and why I had gotten it and everything would be clear to me. But it 
hasn't, Mulder. Nothing has changed. The world still turns, people 
still love and fight wars, nothing has changed. It doesn't matter to 
the world whether I'm gonna live or die ... It doesn't matter ... 
Nature simply doesn't care about one life ..."
	"Nature doesn't ...", Mulder said softly. "But I do."
	They got up from the bench and walked on.
	"I know you do, Mulder, and I don't want you to think I'm 
not grateful to you, because I am. I feel I'll never be able to thank 
you enough for what you've done for me. You mean so incredibly 
much to me that I can't imagine myself ever being without you and 
I hope we'll be together or a long, long time. It's just that ... well ..." 
She smiled a little and pulled him closer to her. Not content with 
this, however, she made him stop and take her in his arms. "... well 
... I just needed to cry a little, that's all ..." She chuckled. "I'm sure 
you must think I'm crazy ..."
	"Well ...", Mulder began, a teasing sound in his voice.
	"Fox Mulder ...", Scully warned him.
	"No", he said smiling. "You're not crazy. You're just you 
and I'm glad you chose me to be the one to comfort you."
	"You serious?"
	"Yes, of course, Scully."
	Scully smiled. "Have I ever told you that I love you?"
	"Not that I can remember", Mulder teased. "But feel free to 
express yourself!"
	"Phwah, and he thinks he's the guy with the photographic 
memory", Scully mumbled as she raised on tip-toes and kissed him 
long and lovingly. Then she just held him close and enjoyed the 
silence around them.

	"MULDER, CAN WE STOP here, please?" Scully said at a 
certain point as they drove home. They hadn't spoken much during 
the trip home, there was no need for words. Instead they held hands, 
the contact as comfortable as it was easy.
	"Why?"
	"There's a church over there, Mulder, I ...", She blushed a 
bit. "I'd like to go there. Just for a minute", she hurried to add.
	"Of course, Scully", he said, feeling a bit awkward that she 
had felt the need to apologise for her request. He parked the car 
opposite of the building; then they got out and crossed the street.
	The interior of the church was simple but elegant, the air 
cool and perfumed with the delicate fragrance of  incense. Mulder 
slowly walked on, the atmosphere and the surroundings itself 
making him silent.
	He felt Scully take his hand and he looked at her.
	"It's nice, isn't it?" she whispered.
	He nodded. The stained glass windows shed a colourful 
light in the shadows of the church and the high arches and white 
marble made him feel small and vulnerable and full of awe. He 
could easily imagine the power a building like this could have on 
people.
	Meanwhile they slowly continued their walk through the 
church, the solemn silence impressive and reassuring at the same 
time. Eventually they arrived at a little chapel built to one side of 
the church. This chapel wasn't decorated with the noble white 
marble the rest of the church was decorated with, instead it was 
built in quiet, warm red brick, a sharp yet friendly contrast with the 
tiny chapel's larger neighbour. Inside was the figure of the Virgin 
Mary, dressed in simple, but stunningly royal gowns and with the 
infant Jesus on her arm.
	Scully let go of Mulder's hand and stepped inside. She went 
to stand before Mary and looked up at Her. She seemed to smile at 
her, gentle, like a mother, making Scully smile as well. She looked 
around at Mulder who stood near the entrance to the little chapel. 
Then she looked back at Mary and knelt down.
	Mulder watched his partner as she was knelt down in 
prayer. He had never been able to bring himself to doing that, but he 
found it made him feel good seeing her there. There was so much 
peace, so much love that surrounded them both at this moment.
	Then he remembered something. He reached behind his 
neck and unclasped the necklace Scully had given him for 
Christmas.
	She had wanted him to have it, because she had been afraid 
that before long she might not be needing it anymore. But that was 
before today, before they had known their future was safe and 
bright and full of promises. And now he felt there was someone else 
who was going to need the cross much more than he did.
	For she might have been cured, but she was going to have 
to find a way to deal with this new situation. It was going to be 
tough on both of them and maybe, he thought, this would help her 
get to grips with the situation.
	And that's why he took her necklace in his hands and 
slowly walked up to her. He fastened the necklace around her neck, 
a movement that made her look up at him. He gave her a soft kiss 
on the forehead as she turned to face him.
	She was still sitting on her knees and he followed her 
example, taking her hands in his own. His eyes sought and found 
hers and then their gazes locked. He wasn't able to look away in 
any way. Her eyes were so full of life, of love, true love, that it took 
his breath away for a moment. And that's when he remembered the 
one wish that rose above all wishes in his heart, a promise, too.
	"Scully ...", he said softly as he cleared his throat, "there's 
something I'd like to ask you ..."
	Scully cocked her head slightly, her expression showing 
encouragement and interest, but masterfully hiding her true 
emotions. "Yes, Mulder?"
	He ran his hand through his hair, for some reason feeling 
suddenly shy, a little scared too, maybe. 
	"... Eh, this is what I want to ask you ...", he said, finding it 
nearly impossible to look at her. Then he did manage to raise his 
eyes and the warm look he found in her eyes, together with the 
heart-felt smile, encouraged him to proceed.
	"Will you marry me, Dana?"
	Her smile, if possible, became even more breath-taking and 
she nodded. "Yes, Fox, I will marry you", she said softly.
	"Really?" he asked for reasons she didn't understand. 
Neither did he, by the way.
	She nodded again and moved closer to him until she sat in 
the V of his spread legs. "Truly", she answered.
	She had expected a kiss, but Mulder seemed to have 
different intentions. Instead he slowly folded his hands and looked 
at the figure of Mary and Jesus. Then he looked back at her.
	"I've got so much to be grateful for, Scully, and I want to 
express it. But I've never prayed and I'd love to, I ... I just don't 
know how. Will you help me?"
	She smiled at his confession and his wish. She folded her 
hands over his so that his hands were covered by hers.
	"I don't even know what to say, Scully", he said as he 
looked at their hands.
	"You don't have to say anything, Mulder, it's alright just to 
think. She will know ..."
	He looked up at her and smiled. Then he pressed a soft kiss 
on her fingers and rested his forehead on their interlocked hands. 
And as she felt the warm moisture of his tears trickle down her 
fingers, she looked up at the Virgin Mary and thanked Her, Her 
image fading slowly as tears filled her eyes.

	SCULLY HADN'T KNOWN FOR how long they had stayed in 
the chapel, the ageless atmosphere making time irrelevant.
	At a certain moment Mulder had raised his head and slowly 
pulled his hands from hers, a silent indication that he wished to 
leave. They had risen to their feet, then left the church in silence. 
And it wasn't until they were back in the sunlight and the freezing 
cold of the world outside that Mulder remembered the ring.
	"Scully?"
	She turned towards him.
	"I know this is probably coming as a kind of an anti-climax, 
but I've got something for you ...", he smiled. He pulled the little 
box from his pocket, opened it and handed it to her.
	Scully smiled as she saw the ring. "Oh, Mulder, it's lovely", 
she whispered.
	He took the ring from its box and slipped it onto her finger. 
She lifted her hand to let the sunlight play with the soft warm 
glimmer of the two coloured gold.
	Then she looked back at him and threw herself in his arms.
	"This is all really happening! I'm not dreaming, it's real", 
she said delighted. "I'm not dreaming, am I, Mulder?"
	He shook his head.
	"Mom will be so happy, Mulder, I can't wait to tell her!" 
she said.
	"Ah, but I promised my mother to tell her first. She talked 
me into asking you so I think we've got something to thank her for 
...", he said grinning.
	"Then go and call her and then let's go back home!"
	Mulder nodded with a smile and took his cell-phone, but 
stopped half-way through dialing his mother's home number.
	"Scully, what do I say if she asks me for the date of the Big 
Day?"
	"You don't know, Mulder?", she smiled, wrapping her arms 
around him, admiring the ring as she did so. 'This is real. We are 
going to get married!', she thought, feeling dizzy at the idea.
	He shook his head, puzzled by her words. So she decided to 
help him a little. She bent closer to him and whispered in his ear:
	"March 6th, Mulder, March 6th"

	TEENA HAD BEEN SO excited at hearing the news from her 
son that she had told them she was coming back to the Scullys right 
away, leaving them with a message not to tell anybody until she 
was there. Mulder had smiled at his mother's excitement.
	"I knew you'd ask her, Fox!" she had said. "Oh, sweetheart, 
I'm so happy for both of you!"
	Then he and Scully had agreed not to tell anybody until the 
first moments of the New Year. This was going to be their surprise 
for everybody.

*~*~*
31 December

	SCULLY WAS IN HELL. The best hell she had ever been in.
	Every time she looked at her fiancé, and that was pretty 
often as they were together almost all the time, she felt a strange 
rush, a mixture of excitement and frustration run through her, 
making her want to scream the good news to everyone in the room.
	But she couldn't. They had an agreement.
	It was hell ...
	In order not to make their families suspicious Mulder and 
she had gone to their separate bed rooms last night, but it hadn't 
taken much time for Scully to find her way to Mulder's bed room. 
She had decided that she didn't want to spend another night without 
him ever in her life and luckily Mulder seemed to feel just the same, 
though that was one of the things about which she had no doubt 
their feelings would be the same.
	And now, as she sat restlessly in a chair, she smiled at the 
memory of their pleasant night together. She looked at the ring on 
her finger, making sure it wasn't too suspicious a movement. 
Mulder had suggested she take it off for the day, but she had 
answered she couldn't. An answer he had rewarded with a smile 
and a kiss.
	"I don't want you to take it off", he had said. "I just thought 
it would be easier for you that way."
	She looked up and saw Mulder leaning over her.
	"I didn't know time could go so slowly", she sighed. "And 
it's only nine o'clock!"
	"Yeah, terrible, isn't it?" he grinned. "To be quite honest 
I'm counting the seconds just as well ..."
	She chuckled, then frowned with impatience.
	"Aw, come on, Mulder. Can't we tell them now?"
	Mulder was amused by her impatience, but didn't give in. 
"Nope", he said, "we've got to wait. You know what we agreed. 
Besides, mom isn't here yet and I promised not to tell anyone 
without her present. And it's only three more hours, we've been on 
stake-outs four times as long as this!"
	"Mulder! This is three hours! I'm not sure I can keep my 
mouth closed for so long!" she said, a teasing light in her eyes.
	"Well, in that case I suppose I'll just have to make sure you 
will, won't I?" Mulder said, accentuating his words by scooping her 
up from the chair.
	"Mulder!" she laughed and shrieked a little. "Mulder, what 
are you doing?! Mom! Help me! He's kidnapping me!"
	"Don't worry, Mrs Scully, she'll be returned safe and 
sound, I promise. I'll announce the ransom right after midnight!" he 
said grinning. Then he looked at her. "And you are coming with me, 
young lady!"
	Mulder carried her to the adjoining room. Usually this was 
the room for the children of Bill and Charlie, but as they weren't 
here now, the room was empty. The blinds were drawn and the 
doors and windows closed. The privacy was complete.
	Excellent.
	"Okay, Fox Mulder, explain yourself. What was that 
supposed to mean?"
	"Oh, just making sure our secret would remain a secret", he 
said with a smile. "I know I can trust you, but tonight you seem 
awfully close to giving away our little secret ... So I thought I'd 
better take precautions ..."
	Scully sat down on the couch and leaned her back against 
the cushions. Mulder sat down beside her and looked at her. Scully 
wasn't sure what she wanted to do now, but then she just extended 
her hand. She'd see what it would lead to eventually. He took her 
hand and she pulled, making him lie down with his head in her lap.
	She chuckled. "Dear-oh-dear, can you believe these past 
seven days? We got engaged, I got cured of my cancer ..."
	"I found my sister, I found you ...", Mulder added seriously. 
Then he smiled, looking up at her. "You might be a mother now, 
Scully!"
	"Then you're the father, Fox Mulder! I warned you, we 
haven't been acting in a very responsible mTarar for the past few 
nights, have we?"
	"No", he said, but with a smile. "And of course I can't 
speak for you, but I like the idea quite a lot ... you know ... kids ..."
	"I'm glad you do, Mulder. I mean, of course there is still a 
chance -..."
	"Minor chance ...", Mulder added dryly.
	"Minor chance", Scully laughed, "that nothing happened, 
but in case I really am pregnant, it's good to know the father isn't 
really objecting ..."
	He smiled, running his finger over her abdomen. "I like it 
..."
	They were silent for a few minutes, just exchanging smiles.
	"Poor Skinner", Mulder said eventually. "He just lost his 
favourite agent!"
	"Who, you?" Scully said, receiving the reaction she had 
hoped for: Mulder stuck his tongue out to her. 
	"What about your mother, Scully? Do you think we could 
get Skinner interested in your mother?"
	"My mother? Why would he be interested in my mother?"
	"Well, he likes Scully women ..."
	"Does he?" Scully asked.
	"Doesn't everyone?" Mulder answered, for once meaning 
every bit of it.
	Scully felt her heart make a funny little jump at his words 
and she could only mutter, "You're smooth, Fox Mulder ..." Then 
she grinned. "But you were wrong, Mulder, because A: I'm not 
going to quit the FBI and B: Would you want Skinner to be 
family?"
	" ... ouch ...", Mulder said, feigning a blow.
	Scully stretched out beside him on the couch and rolled into 
his arms. She kept her cheek pressed to his and sighed a little.
	"It's been an unbelievable year ...", she said.
	"Yeah, if someone had predicted this year, I'd never have 
believed him!"
	"Not even if it was Clyde Bruckman, Mulder?" Scully said 
devilishly.
	"Okay, Dana Scully, what kinky plans do you have in 
mind?" Mulder said, his eyebrows raised, a shiver running through 
him.
	"None, Mulder, none whatsoever ..."
	Mulder decided to let it rest. After all, he had already 
noticed she was capable ... Oh well, he'd find out soon enough and 
he liked the unexpected passion he had found in her a lot.
	"There were some great moments", he said, changing the 
subject.
	Scully nodded. "Yeah, there were. But if it's alright with 
you I opt for not doing it again. I've had enough to be perfectly 
honest."
	"So have I", he said and pressed his lips on hers. His 
thoughts vanished as the kiss lasted, making him act on instincts 
only. A hunter's instincts, searching for his prey: Dana Scully.
	Scully was the one who ended the kiss after a while, 
looking down at his clothes. 
	"Why are you wearing a tie like this one, Mulder?" she 
asked, taking the tie in her hands and holding it up to him.
	"Why, don't you like it?"
	She shook her head. "No, it makes sense. I don't want your 
ties to make sense."
	He smiled and raised his eyebrows. "Well, take it off then!"
	"Just your tie, Mulder?"
	He chuckled at this highly suggestive remark. Then he ran 
his finger over the neckline of her dress, hooking his finger under 
the fabric. 
	"By the way, why are you wearing a dress like this one, 
Scully?"
	Scully looked down at the low neck of her dress and smiled. 
	"Why, don't you like it?"
	"Woman ...", Mulder groaned as he leaned on his hands, 
looming over her. She wasn't in the least impressed, however. She 
grabbed his tie and pulled him down to her, then kissed him hot.
	She forgot what the world was all about, simply because 
she really couldn't care less. She felt reality change as they kissed 
and somewhere deep inside her head a tiny voice playfully inquired 
of her how much time she thought they had spent in this exquisite, 
dandy way during the last few days. She told it to shut the fuck up. 
Oh yes, she knew the world was full of problems, but why bother 
her with that now? Oh yes, she knew there were more useful ways 
to spend New Year's Eve, though she really couldn't think of a 
single one right now ... And frankly she didn't want to either! Not 
when she was here in the arms of the man she had never felt more 
in love with.
	"Dana? Fox? Are you in here?" she suddenly heard her 
mother call them back to reality. Scully moaned. This was 
becoming a very irritating habit of her mother, interrupting them 
when they didn't want to have her even near them!
	"Tell me this isn't happening", she muttered against 
Mulder's lips. "Tell me my mind is playing tricks on me ..."
	"Fox, Dana, it's almost midnight!", Margaret called. "Are 
you coming?"
	Mulder sighed. "Guess we'd better go then ..."
	Scully nodded, but didn't loosen the embrace. "Carry me, 
Mulder ..."
	He chuckled. "Uh-uh, you can walk by yourself, agent 
Scully!"
	She smiled and got up from the couch. "Let's go then. I 
wanna tell them!"

	MRS MULDER HAD ARRIVED at about eleven o'clock, so 
when Mulder and Scully came back into the living room, Margaret 
immediately drew Mulder's attention to her.
	"Fox, I didn't know you had invited her over!" Margaret 
said. "It's great!"
	"I hadn't, Mrs Scully, but I called her and she said she had 
a reason ...", Mulder answered, exchanging knowing looks with his 
mother.
	"Well, I think it's absolutely wonderful!" Margaret said. 
Then she turned to Charlie, who was sitting in a chair, talking to 
Bill. "Charlie, darling, could you get the champagne, please? Bill, 
could you help him?"
	"Is there anything we can do, Mrs Scully?" Mulder asked, 
but Margaret shook her head.
	"No, I don't think so. Why don't you two just sit down and 
relax. You had a very stressful few days ..."
	"Ooo ...", Scully whispered to Mulder, "... if only she knew 
just how stressful ..."
	"Scully ...", Mulder moaned, feeling tension coil inside him 
at her tone and look.
	Bill and Charlie returned with the glasses of champagne 
which Bill balanced on a tray like a professional waiter, something 
that prompted Scully's remark "They lost a great waiter to the 
Navy, big brother!" and a face from Bill.
	"Well", said Margaret after everyone had taken his or her 
glass. "It is customary for the Scully family that the last remaining 
minutes of the year are used to tell everyone what you remember 
most about the past year or what you are thankful for." She looked 
around at the people gathered in the room. She had no trouble 
adapting to her role as Mater Familialis. "Who'd like to start?"
	"I'll go first", Bill said. He rose from the chair and cleared 
his throat. "I'd like to thank first of all my wonderful wife and 
fantastic kids, though they're not here now. But I know they know 
how much I love them, especially Tara, who's the most special 
woman I've ever met. Also, I'd like to wish Dana good luck and 
congratulations with the wonderful news, mom told me tonight. 
Well done, Starbuck! And thanks to everyone who made this year 
great, you know who you are! Cheers!"
	Charlie got up and raised his glass. "I don't think there's 
much I can add to Bill's little speech. I want to thank Eileen and 
mom and Dana, Fox, you too, and the most wonderful moment of 
this year was without a doubt the birth of our little baby girl. I want 
to toast to that!"
	"That's wonderful, sweetheart", Margaret said. "I'd like to 
thank all of you. We had a tough year, but we made it and I know I 
couldn't have without you all. I love you." She turned to Teena. 
"Teena, it's your turn!"
	"I ... eh ... I'd like to thank you for inviting me over for 
these holidays. That's something for myself, but most of all I'd like 
to thank you, Dana and Margaret, for being such great support for 
Fox. I know I haven't been of much help to him, but I'm so glad he 
always had people around who loved him. That's what I'd like to 
lift a glass to." She sat down again. "Dana, it's your turn."
	Scully got up from the couch where she had been sitting 
with Mulder and looked at the people around her. "Well ...", she 
said. " ... first of all I want to thank you, Mulder, for being my best 
friend, a wonderful partner and the one who had confidence in my 
recovery all the time, who was patient enough to deal with my black 
moods -- they are contagious, Mulder! -- and who eventually found 
a cure for my cancer. I'll never forget that, nor will I ever forget a 
moment of what we've been through together ..." She turned back 
to the others in the room. "And I'd like to thank mom, Bill, and 
Charlie, because you're simply great, and Ahab and Missy, because 
you're still with us. Love you!" She looked at Mulder. "It's your 
turn."
	Mulder looked at his watch. "It's almost midnight, so I'll 
keep this short. Most of all, Scully, thank you very much for 
everything and you know how much that is. I don't think I'll ever 
feel I've thanked you enough for all you've done for me, though 
maybe later I can give it a try ..." Mulder was glad that only Scully 
seemed to understand the suggestive meaning of his words and he 
continued. "I want to thank mom for being my mother and Mrs 
Scully for being my other mother. I don't think you know just how 
much you mean to me ... and I'd like to drink to that."
	They lifted their glasses and toasted to it. As they did that 
the count-down to the New Year started and the next moment 
Mulder found himself in his mother's arms, wishing him a very 
happy New Year. He deliberately chose to give Scully his New 
Year wishes last. That way, he knew, he could make it last as long 
as they wanted it to last. So when he finally got to wish her a happy 
New Year he wasn't going to hurry.
	Fortunately, Scully seemed to have exactly the same idea.
	"Um, Mulder, correct me if I'm wrong, but do I get it right 
if I think it wasn't at all an accident that we both chose to wish each 
other a happy New Year last?"
	Mulder smiled. "Yep". Then he kissed her. "Happy New 
Year, Scully."
	"Happy New Year to you, too, Mulder. Shall we tell them 
now?"
	"You really are impatient, aren't you?" he said with a warm 
smile.
	"Mm-mm, I can't wait ...", she answered. "I can't wait to 
see their faces!"
	"Ah, but remember that mom already knows. Not everyone 
is ignorant about it."
	Scully raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "Do you care?"
	"No", Mulder answered.
	"Neither do I", Scully replied. "So, try and get their 
attention and tell them the good news! It's about time they knew!"
	"Yes, but how? They're all talking, I ..."
	"Says the Bureau's finest agent ... He can make a serial 
killer talk, but fails to hush a room full of relatives ...", Scully 
grinned. "I know how to do it". She walked to her mother and 
whispered something to her upon which Margaret hushed the room.
	Meanwhile Scully had returned to Mulder's side, her arm 
around him.
	"Um ...", Mulder began and he cleared his throat. God, this 
was hard! "Dana and I - ..."
	"Scully and I!" Scully hissed and Mulder chuckled.
	"Okay, Scully and I would like to make an anouncement ... 
Is that better, Scully?"
	"Much better", Scully nodded with a smile. "Go on!"
	He turned back to the people in the room who were waiting 
expectantly.
	"Well, I've known Scully for about five years now and 
we've experienced a lot together, both wonderful things and sad 
things, and now that she has been cured from her cancer ... I ... I 
thought ... well ..." He sighed. "Help me, Scully!"he whispered.
	She smiled as she saw the panic and defeat in his eyes and 
she held out her hand with the ring and showed it to everyone. She 
smiled broadly.
	"Mulder asked me to marry him, and I said 'yes'!"
	"Thanks!" he whispered, just before they were surrounded 
by excited relatives who rushed to congratulate the couple.
	Mulder found himself suddenly trapped in the arms of both 
Scully's mother and his own.
	"Oh, Fox, this is such a wonderful surprise!" Margaret said, 
kissing him on the cheeks. "I'm so glad! Congratulations to both of 
you!"
	"Thank you, Mrs Scully", he said, enjoying the enthusiastic 
response tremendously.
	"Oh, Fox, sweetheart", he heard his mother say and saw 
tears blink in her eyes. He took her in his arms, feeling tears 
stinging in his eyes as well. "I know you already told me, but I'm 
just so happy for the two of you ..."
	"Thanks, mom, I can't believe just how good I'm feeling 
right now ..."
	"You should feel good, Fox, with such a woman any man 
would be happy", Teena answered.
	"Definitely!" he answered with a huge smile.
	Charlie and Bill, who had just congratulated their sister, 
came over to him. Charlie took Mulder's hand and shook it.
	"Good luck to both of you, Mulder. Everyone can see you 
love each other and I hope you'll be very happy together!"
	"Thanks, Charlie, I've got no doubt about that whatsoever!" 
Mulder answered.
	"Take good care of her, Mulder", Bill added as he in turn 
shook Mulder's hand. "You don't deserve a woman like Dana, but 
in my eyes no man in the world would be good enough for her, and 
at least she thinks you are. So, congratulations!"
	"Thank you, Bill, I'm glad you have so much trust in me."
	"I haven't, but apparently Dana has and all I want is to see 
her happy, which she appears to be", Bill said with a smile.
	"Well, I'd say this calls for a celebration!" Margaret said as 
she collected the glasses. "Bill, Charlie, go get some more 
champagne, we've got something to celebrate!"
	Scully helped herself in Mulder's arms, knowing with dead 
certainty that this was the way to spend her life.
	"Dana, would you like some champagne?" Teena asked, 
handing her a glass. She took it and sipped the bubbling golden 
liquid.
	"Fox, you want some champagne?" his mother asked, but 
he surprised both Teena and Scully by refusing.
	"No?" Teena said.
	"No, mom", he said with a smile, looking at Scully. "You 
see, I've got everything I need right here ..."
	And with these words he kissed her.
	And the last thing Scully could think of before she was 
swept off her feet by her fiancé was a feeling of sweet love and she 
heard a tiny voice whisper, "Happy New Year indeed ..." before it 
vanished forever.

?????

The End


Kirsten Kerkhof, the Netherlands, 08-02-1998 © 

The X-Files * Red Gold