From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 25 Sep 2001 01:46:04 -0000
Subject: Man to Man Talk-Episode 2 by Girlie_girl7
Source: direct

Reply To: FoxfireX@hotmail.com
           
Title:Man To Man Talk II
Author:Girlie_girl7
Date:09-26-01
Category:Baby FF
Rating:G
Spoilers:Existence
Archive:Anywhere it makes you happy
Disclaimers:CC begat Mulder and Scully and Mulder 
and Scully begat William. CC saw that it was good and 
sold them to Fox for boo-koo bucks. Mulder and Scully
would never sell William. I'm just playing with them.
Summary: Mulder has another talk with his son, part two 
of Man To Man Talk
Notes: I am not a 9er.


A late model sedan comes to a halt in a parking lot. 
Out steps a 6-foot-tall, lanky brown haired man, sporting
sunglasses and a perfect grin.  He's wearing what appears 
to be an old blue dress shirt over a white Tee.  He has on well 
worn and well fitting jeans.

Women passing by slow down as if in a time warp, to admire 
this man.  He walks around the car and opens the rear door, as 
he bends over, the women hold their breath and watch as he brings
out a little boy, sighs are heard. Oh well, it was nice while 
it lasted, they continue on to their own cars.
              
          ~Fox Mulder is going grocery shopping~

Fox Mulder carries his son to a cart in the parking lot. 
"Ok Will, let's get you strapped in."
Will fusses and blinks his eyes as the sun shines in them.
"Sorry buddy, guess we need to get you a pair of baby Ray-Bans."
With Mulder's hand shading Will's eyes, they make their way across 
the parking lot to the entrance of the grocery store.

Once inside Mulder removes his hand from Wills face and lifts the
little boy up to remove his jacket.  "Mom says you'll get too hot 
in this get-up." 
  
Mulder hangs the sunglasses from his open shirt collar, as women
glance at him, caring for his son.  "There you go, let's buckle 
you up.  Need to always wear your seatbelt."  Will looks at 
Mulder as if to understand him.

Mulder pushes the cart into the large store, "Ok your mother
gave me a list and some cash.  This grocery shopping can't be 
too difficult to do.  We're men, we can do anything we put our 
minds to, right!"  Mulder looks at Will as if he expects him to 
answer him. Will blinks at his father.

Pushing the cart to the bakery section, Mulder checks the list,
"Let's see Will, do we need bread. yes.  It's on the list.  Now 
I know mom likes multi-grain bread and I don't care what kind it 
is just as long as I can put meat between two slices of it." 
Into the cart goes a loaf of bread.

"Look Will, Devil Dogs!  I love those.  They even kinda look 
like little sandwiches.  Don't tell mom but next time I eat one 
I'll slip you some of the cream from the middle."  Mulder winks, 
as Will chews on his fist.

"See, shopping isn't that hard."

Mulder moves to the fruit and vegetable section, "Mom has down 
potatoes and salad greens.  Potatoes, now mashed potatoes are 
something you can eat.  Let's get 25 pounds, that should last us 
a couple of weeks."  Mulder drops the potatoes into the cart and 
rubs Wills head.  "Don't worry buddy, no more making the
Mr. Potatohead face.  Mom still hasn't forgiven me for 
making her little boy cry."

Next comes salad greens.  Mulder looked around at the vast array of 
salad fixings. "Humm. Will, everything is green, so I guess we'll
just buy one of each."  Mulder loads the cart with vegetables.

An elderly woman has been watching Mulder and Will.  Walking over 
to Mulder she says, "What a cute baby!  How old is he?"

"He's four months old."

"What's his name?"

"Will, I mean William."

The lady leans in and touches Will's tiny fingers.  "I'll bet your
mommy loves you!"

"More than life itself."  Mulder replied and he meant it.
Will rubs his nose on the back of his fist.  The woman laughs and 
then moves on.

Mulder leans over and whispers, "You've got a way with women Will."
"Next aisle is frozen foods.  Let's see, mom didn't have pizza on 
the list.  She must have overlooked it.  I used to go through 
three or four a week but now I share with your mother so. 
let's get 8 just to be on the safe side. You know Will, 
you can never have too many frozen pizzas."

Mulder tosses the pizzas into the cart.

Will's eyes follow the bright shiny freezer cases as Mulder moves 
past them.

Mulder feels a tap on his back.  He turns to find no one there, 
until he looked down.  Before him stood a small girl.  "Mister, your 
baby lost a shoe," She said as she holds out a small white shoe.
Mulder looked over at Will, he had one bright white shoe on and one
fuzzy baby blue sock.  Mulder crouches down and holds out his hand. 
The little girl places the shoe in it.

"Thank you, that was very nice of you," Mulder replies and pats her 
head.  The little girl runs down the aisle to her mother, who waves 
at Mulder.  He stands up and waves back.

"Will, you threw a shoe buddy!"  Mulder grinned as he
put on the tiny shoe and laced it up.  Will was oblivious to the 
events going on around him, he was too busy staring at the colorful 
displays turning over his head to care.

Mulder turns down the next aisle.  "Ah, beverages."
Consulting Scully's list he sees `tea' on it.
"Tea, now that I can buy.  Mom always drinks green tea and because 
she doesn't want a nervous baby, it has to be decaf.  Your mother
is always thinking of you Will." Mulder grabbed a box of 
Lipton teabags, turning it over in his hands,
he says, "Humm.these boxes are kind of small.  Let's get two. 
You know how much your mother likes her tea."  
Into the cart go the two boxes of tea.

Pushing the cart with Will and a steadily growing pile of groceries,
Mulder looks up at the sign hanging in the middle of the next aisle. 
"Canned goods, now I know mom has some canned veggies on this list." 
Mulder scans down the list and then back up.  "Here it is. Two cans 
of corn. That should be easy enough."  Mulder starts down the aisle, 
mumbling, "Peas, carrots, beans, beets, potatoes, okra, artichoke
hearts, egg plant.  Let me tell you Will, there are some weird 
veggies out there." About that time Mulder spots the section 
of corn.


"Here we are Will."  Mulder looks over the huge section.
"Let's see there's whole kernel, creamed, white corn, 
yellow corn, corn with beans.  That's a whole lotta corn Will!
Let's get yellow corn, yellow is a good color, whole kernel
and. what size?  It comes in tiny baby cans up to small
trash can size.  Umm.let's get two medium ones."  Mulder
 tosses the cans into the cart along with more assorted 
canned goods he picks up as he moves down the aisle.

Rounding the corner, Mulder breaks out into a big grin,
lifting Will from his carrier, he shows the little boy 
what's ahead. "Hey buddy, they have toys in
the grocery store!  I gotta stop doing all my
shopping at convience stores."  Will's eyes
dart from one multicolored package to the next.  He then
points to one toy in particular. Mulder looks sad.
"Will, you wanna duck, but you already have a duck 
and there are lots of other cool toys here."
Will leans over to touch the duck.  "Ok, I guess a guy can 
never have too many ducks." 

One duck and six other toys later Mulder and Will continue 
down the next aisle.

"Diapers, now THAT I know how to buy. Let's get you three 
packs.  I get tired of running out at night to get them.  
Ok, I know its my own fault that I forget them during the
day but its so much more fun to play with you then to go
buy diapers." 
Mulder leans in and rubs his nose against Wills. "But, 
remember I would walk over hot coals for your diapers, 
at least until you're potty trained."
Mulder looks up to see a woman grinning at him, turning
red he heads down the aisle.

We're getting into the baby food section buddy, the meat
and potatoes of kid food.  That's if you could eat meat 
and potatoes."  Will starts to fuss.  "Here now, your
mother says you're the model baby."  Mulder digs the
diaper bag out from under the mountain of groceries. 
He opens the bag and pulls out a small baby bottle
of juice. Taking off the cap, he offers it to Will,
who eagerly takes it.  "Slow down buddy, you'll have 
people thinking I never feed you."  Holding the bottle,
Mulder looks over the list.  "Will it just says `baby cereal' 
but man can not live by oatmeal alone so let's get you 
some real food.  You like stew and strained peas?"
Will looks at his father but doesn't respond to the question.
"That was a silly question, wasn't it.  You've never had 
stew so how would you know.  Believe me Will, there's lots 
of good food out there but avoid the brussel sprouts." 
Mulder goes down the baby food aisle tossing jars into 
the cart.  "Mom will be happy to see we've bought you 
some real food."

The next aisle is breakfast foods.  Will looks up at the
bright boxes as Mulder pushes him down the aisle, 
holding the bottle to the little boys lips.
"Cereal, Will just wait until you get some teeth. I'll 
introduce you to my friends Cap' Crunch, Fruitie Pebbles
and King Vitamin."  Mulder tosses an assortment 
of boxed cereals into the cart. 

Rounding the corner Mulder looks down at the list once
more.  "TP, TP what the hel., heck is TP?  Got any ideas 
Will?"  Will just continued to devour the bottle of juice.
"This can't be too hard. How many things in a grocery store 
can have the initials TP." 

Sometime later, after Mulder puts toilet paper, tooth paste,
tomato paste, tortellini pasta, talcum powder and tapioca 
pudding into the cart, they were ready to tackle the dairy case.

Will finishes his bottle and needs to be burped. "Here you
go big guy, let's see if we can relieve a little pressure." 
Mulder lifts the little boy from the carrier and gently pats
his back.  Will makes squeaky baby noises and looks over
Mulders shoulder with his Scully blue eyes. A plop is heard.
Mulder looks down to see another tiny shoe on the floor. 
"Will, you are gonna be one expensive kid to keep in footwear." 
Just then Will burps, then he sneezes.  Mulder pats the back
of his sons head and holds him close.  "Oh no, I hope you're
not coming down with something.  Your mother will think I 
left you in frozen foods."  Mulder puts Will back into the
carrier and calmly replaces his shoe.

Grabbing the cart by the handle,  Mulder pushes it into
the dairy section.  "Mom must be a strong woman, these 
carts are hard to push.  Will yawns and rubs an eye with
a tiny fist.

"Don't worry buddy, dad's almost done.  All we need is milk.  
Mulder looked up at the long row of dairy cases filled with 
milk.  "Holy shi. cow!  Will, I think we're in trouble."

Mulder struggles, pushing the cart past row after row of milk,
reading as he goes.  "Whole, 2%, 1%, skim, fat-free, chocolate,
banana, strawberry, goat milk, soy milk, gallons, half gallons,
quarts and pints.  And I thought buying corn was hard.  Let's
use our heads; we're men aren't we Will."
Will kicks his feet and stares up at his dad. "Using deduction
I would say, first, you don't drink the stuff `cause you have 
your own supplier, secondly I know mom drinks it for you.  
I don't know why she doesn't just feed it to you and cut 
out the middle man."  Mulder grins and whispers to Will, 
"But neither one of us would want that would we?"  He looked 
back at the milk and sighes. "I use it on cereal and to 
wash down Devil Dogs, so I guess we'll get four gallons.

"We can never have enough milk, right Will."  Will slowly
bats his eyes.  "You're getting sleepy on me.  Hang in
there buddy, we're almost done."

Mulder pushed the cart to the checkout line, still putting 
things into it.  The clerk fawns over Will as Mulder beams.
He loves showing off his little boy.  After unloading and
reloading the cart and paying the bill, Mulder looks down
to see Will fast asleep.  He gently puts the jacket on his 
son and covers him with the blanket.  Will hardly stirs.

Mulder puts the baby carrier into the back seat and buckles
it down.  He loads the car with his groceries, feeling like 
a caveman providing for his family.  He gives the cart a 
shove and watches it make its way to the cart corral.  It
bumps another cart and comes to a halt. Climbing into the 
car, he makes his way out of the parking lot; the conquering hero.

Mulder stands before the apartment door, waiting for 
Scully to answer it.

Scully opens the door and kisses Mulder as she quickly
takes the carrier with the sleeping baby in it.  She 
kisses Will's head and softly says, "I missed my two guys." 
Putting Will on the kitchen table, she comes back to 
Mulder, who is holding five bags of groceries in one hand.
 
"Mulder, where were you?  I was beginning to worry."
Sitting down the bags, Mulder grabs her around the waist 
and kisses her forehead.  "Your men were out gathering provisions."

Mulder pulled away and picked up the bags, placing them 
on the counter.  Scully starts to unbag the groceries. 
"Mulder, did you follow my list?"

"To the letter."

"And you got all this with the 60 dollars I gave you?"

Mulder looks at Will and cups his head with his hand.
"Umm. actually I had to use my credit card."

"Mulder, just how much did you spend?"

Mulder draws up but doesn't look at Scully.
"380 dollars."

"For this!"

"No. no there is more in the car, in the trunk and the back seat."

"No wonder our expense accounts never balanced at the bureau."

Scully pulls out a loaf of multigrain bread that
is now 2 inches thick.  "Mulder, how do you explain this,"
She asks as she holds out the bread. 

"Scully, it's not my fault the grocery store puts 
the bread up front and the heavy stuff at the back."

Scully grins trying not to laugh.  "Mulder, did you 
ever think to start at the back of the store and work
your way up to the checkout?" Mulder looks up like a
light bulb has been turned on in his head.

"Is that how that works!"
Scully laughs and puts her arms around Mulders waist. Mulder frowns. 

"Mulder, what's wrong?"

"I'm worried about my Devil Dogs."
  
                         ~The End~